Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you have to do!

But this gave me pause: "He obsesses about things to the point of not being able to sleep and being very irritable when things are not going his way." Is that really an ADHD symptom? Given that some ADHD meds can increase anxiety and aggression, please keep a close eye, and make sure the prescribing doc takes ALL symptoms into account.

I noticed that too and wonder if it is something like anxiety or OCD and not necessarily adhd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

OP, I don't think you are jerk but I do agree with the bolded. You are, perhaps inadvertently, casting a lot of judgment on parents who medicate without letting their kid spiral into such self-destruction first. It's medication. Would you have a parent let a kid suffer through a bad bout of pneumonia or the flu without medication, unless it's the very last resort? Do we need to wait until the kid is almost dead?

This line comes up over and over again on this pro-medication forum. I wouldn't give my kid Tamiflu, no. And ADHD and insulin-dependent diabetes are not equivalent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

OP, I don't think you are jerk but I do agree with the bolded. You are, perhaps inadvertently, casting a lot of judgment on parents who medicate without letting their kid spiral into such self-destruction first. It's medication. Would you have a parent let a kid suffer through a bad bout of pneumonia or the flu without medication, unless it's the very last resort? Do we need to wait until the kid is almost dead?

Anonymous wrote:For so long I have resisted. I hate that the school system is not set up to accommodate very active kids (especially boys). I feel like if we lived on a farm, none of this would be an issue. I worry about side effects and unknown long-term effects. I am sick with worry about it.

But our kid is destroying my mental health and our family's ability to function peacefully. Every person in our family is in therapy. My DH and I are also in marriage therapy. My 9 year old kid with ADHD lashes out, lies, sneaks around and generally has little to no self control. He lacks almost any executive function ability. He yells, screams, hits. He obsesses about things to the point of not being able to sleep and being very irritable when things are not going his way. It's September and he's already threatened a teacher, stolen from the classroom, and lied about it. He sneaks food, he sneaks his ipad, he sneaks everything.

We have taken parenting class after parenting class. (At least 7.) We have been in therapy with him for years. I have read a number of parenting books, as has my husband. We give him regular protein snacks, protein at meals. We've cut out artificial flavors and watch his sugar intake (probably still too high but we try). We provide a structured environment. We do positive reinforcement. We make mistakes along the way. I've consulted with a developmental pediatrician. He's had two neuropsych exams. He has a 504. I'm on anxiety medication to make sure I don't transfer my anxieties and anger to him - and to try and help remain calm amidst all the chaos.

Everyone has recommended medication for him - and I just have not been able to do it. But we have an appointment with the psychiatrist next week.

What is the point of this post? I'm not sure. But mostly to say this: Yes, ADHD is overdiagnosed and kids with ADHD are overprescribed. Yes, it's a shame. I agree. But be light on your judgments. Some people are really struggling, even if it's not obvious from the casual observation. I don't think really anyone except a handful of people really understand how devastating this has been to our family.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I've made the choice to medicate my Adhd daughter and she, now at the age of 20, is also making that choice. As she puts it, if I hadn't made that choice for her she would likely have self medicated and she would surely have never gone to college. She is literally a 4.0 student with tons of ambition and drive. The medication freed her up to be herself by calming her brain.

I couldn't care less if society agrees with my choice, my decision saved my child and I'm damn proud that I did what I did.

Stop justifying your decision. Your child has suffered long enough, get him the help he needs. It's long overdue.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

Anonymous wrote:Do what you have to do!

But this gave me pause: "He obsesses about things to the point of not being able to sleep and being very irritable when things are not going his way." Is that really an ADHD symptom? Given that some ADHD meds can increase anxiety and aggression, please keep a close eye, and make sure the prescribing doc takes ALL symptoms into account.

Anonymous wrote:So much research shows that meds + behavior therapy = improved outcomes. Don't overthink/ruminate and start the meds. If it doesn't work, stop.