Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is graduating this year with a double degree and I think about 180 credits. I have always had a copy of her schedule so I know what she’s doing, but mostly a reminder of just how stressful her life is at that moment. I have never seen her grades though, and am very careful not to ask. But hey, my kid had a spreadsheet she made to navigate her degrees and knew before she left HS she was going to grad school. Our job was to reassure her that dropping a horrible class was actually a valid time tested method of improving success, taking an internship was both a job and a vacation, and that grades were beyond her control outside of actually showing up and doing the work.

So your daughter is graduating this year and you have no idea of what her gpa is?

If you have a copy of their schedule you don't really need to know their GPA unless it has dropped so low that they lose scholarship money. If their grades affect the finances that is your business. And, yes, they absolutely should make you aware of something that will have a direct impact on the bill you are footing for them.

But otherwise their GPA is their business. And you can figure out quite a bit about their progress simply by seeing their schedule.

All this snobbery, about being a laid back parent who wouldn't dream of checking on their kid's grades is really annoying. Truth is for the most part, the extent to whether parents are intensive or laid back about monitoring grades really depends on the grades. I have two daughters in high school. With the oldest I rarely ever look at her grades on parent portal. There's no reason to, she's never made a final grade below an A. With my younger ADHD daughter, I monitor her grades like a hawk. I'm pretty nervous about how she is going to handle college and I'm sure during that first year, I will be checking on her grades quite a bit. If she does well, then yeah I'll back off. Those of you who don't bother checking on your college student's grades probably have good reason to feel confident that your kid is making grades that you would consider acceptable, if you thought otherwise you would be checking as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is graduating this year with a double degree and I think about 180 credits. I have always had a copy of her schedule so I know what she’s doing, but mostly a reminder of just how stressful her life is at that moment. I have never seen her grades though, and am very careful not to ask. But hey, my kid had a spreadsheet she made to navigate her degrees and knew before she left HS she was going to grad school. Our job was to reassure her that dropping a horrible class was actually a valid time tested method of improving success, taking an internship was both a job and a vacation, and that grades were beyond her control outside of actually showing up and doing the work.

So your daughter is graduating this year and you have no idea of what her gpa is?

Why does mom need to know her GPA?

It helps when helping her figure out her next steps.

Anonymous wrote:We ask for grades at the end of the semester but logging into portals, asking for grades on assignments, etc. is so crazy and over the top.

Not for everyone it's not. A family member is now out on academic probation for, essentially, a year. His mom was able to check grades in real time and help him stay on track for some of the year before it fell apart. FWIW, the kid wasn't partying but is struggling with mental illness. So just stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is graduating this year with a double degree and I think about 180 credits. I have always had a copy of her schedule so I know what she’s doing, but mostly a reminder of just how stressful her life is at that moment. I have never seen her grades though, and am very careful not to ask. But hey, my kid had a spreadsheet she made to navigate her degrees and knew before she left HS she was going to grad school. Our job was to reassure her that dropping a horrible class was actually a valid time tested method of improving success, taking an internship was both a job and a vacation, and that grades were beyond her control outside of actually showing up and doing the work.

So your daughter is graduating this year and you have no idea of what her gpa is?

Why does mom need to know her GPA?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

As the mom of college grads, I'm astounded by this. They are adults. Are you planning to follow them to work to make sure they are keeping up?

Oh come on. College students aren't "real" adults. You are paying for their colllege and most likely their living expenses. It's ridiculous to compare monitoring your college student's grades with following them to work.

+1 This is the last chance you have to make sure your lessons about how to be an adult have worked. So way, way more hands off than high school, but not as hands off as your are after college graduation. There's a balance.

No, there is no balance here. You coddle. The End

I don’t even ask in high school. Never ever in college

Anonymous wrote:My DD is graduating this year with a double degree and I think about 180 credits. I have always had a copy of her schedule so I know what she’s doing, but mostly a reminder of just how stressful her life is at that moment. I have never seen her grades though, and am very careful not to ask. But hey, my kid had a spreadsheet she made to navigate her degrees and knew before she left HS she was going to grad school. Our job was to reassure her that dropping a horrible class was actually a valid time tested method of improving success, taking an internship was both a job and a vacation, and that grades were beyond her control outside of actually showing up and doing the work.

So your daughter is graduating this year and you have no idea of what her gpa is?

My DD is graduating this year with a double degree and I think about 180 credits. I have always had a copy of her schedule so I know what she’s doing, but mostly a reminder of just how stressful her life is at that moment. I have never seen her grades though, and am very careful not to ask. But hey, my kid had a spreadsheet she made to navigate her degrees and knew before she left HS she was going to grad school. Our job was to reassure her that dropping a horrible class was actually a valid time tested method of improving success, taking an internship was both a job and a vacation, and that grades were beyond her control outside of actually showing up and doing the work.

We followed pretty closely early on in high school and backed off as time (and years) went by. DC is a freshmen in college now and we've talked about expectations around grades and will leave him to manage it. We will ask to see the final grades for the semester.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

As the mom of college grads, I'm astounded by this. They are adults. Are you planning to follow them to work to make sure they are keeping up?

Oh come on. College students aren't "real" adults. You are paying for their colllege and most likely their living expenses. It's ridiculous to compare monitoring your college student's grades with following them to work.

+1 This is the last chance you have to make sure your lessons about how to be an adult have worked. So way, way more hands off than high school, but not as hands off as your are after college graduation. There's a balance.

Anonymous wrote:I am not even aware of what system is used to see grades. I have access to the one that shows the billing info etc but don't think that has grades. DS (freshman) knows we expect to hear about any issues as they come up rather the end of the semester. That's it.

That's where we are, too.

I expect him to be mature, and treat my limited funds with the respect they deserve. He has talked about problem sets with me (mostly complaining about the electronic system) but I cannot see his grades unless he chooses to share them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

You really need to back away. I would hope, by this point, you have taught your kid to seek help when needed.

You could make clear that you are willing to pay for a tutor (if your kid can't afford it otherwise) but you can't be logging in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to know what classes they are enrolled in and the final term grades. I want to know they are on track to graduate in 4 years.

That’s it.

You make them try to explain all that to you...why not just get login to the portal where it lays out the grades and their graduation track in detail?

Because RESPECT!