Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it happens, but I've never understood why someone having an affair would frequently bring up the name of the affair partner to their spouse. If I were ever going to have an affair, I doubt I'd ever bring up their name.

(In fact, I'd probably go overboard.
[Wife]: Mentions woman next door.
[Me]: Who? Never heard of her. Someone lives next door?)

Ehhhh...I was banging a married dude (I didn’t know he was at first) and after awhile I knew he would mention me to his wife, casually about work stuff, things like that. Sort of a hiding in plain sight thing.

Anonymous wrote:Weird, my wife loves when I call her a whore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating or not, I don't think I could ever get over it if DH claimed our child isn't really his. Call me a b*tch, tell me I'm the worst human being in the world, whatever. But bring our child into it and reject our child to hurt me? Nah. It wouldn't be the healthy or "right" reaction but I'd be very tempted to invite him to leave our lives and never come back if he really didn't think he was the father.

Totally. I could tell my DH I cheated all through TTC our two kids and there is still no way he would ever say they were not his. What kind of father says that. So far over the line. So far.

DP here. I agree with this point, which is why I asked OP for more context about their history. And if they never fight it’s even more insane to have an interaction with these types of accusations. I wonder if OP used to be an AP, maybe her DH is moving on to the next one and mad about being trapped. Or maybe there is something else entirely going on that is causing him to blow up at her. But there are many signs that point to an u dercurrent of infidelity here.

OP here, what is AP? I was not his sude chick, if that’s what it means.

Affair partner

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating or not, I don't think I could ever get over it if DH claimed our child isn't really his. Call me a b*tch, tell me I'm the worst human being in the world, whatever. But bring our child into it and reject our child to hurt me? Nah. It wouldn't be the healthy or "right" reaction but I'd be very tempted to invite him to leave our lives and never come back if he really didn't think he was the father.

Totally. I could tell my DH I cheated all through TTC our two kids and there is still no way he would ever say they were not his. What kind of father says that. So far over the line. So far.

DP here. I agree with this point, which is why I asked OP for more context about their history. And if they never fight it’s even more insane to have an interaction with these types of accusations. I wonder if OP used to be an AP, maybe her DH is moving on to the next one and mad about being trapped. Or maybe there is something else entirely going on that is causing him to blow up at her. But there are many signs that point to an u dercurrent of infidelity here.

OP here, what is AP? I was not his sude chick, if that’s what it means.

Anonymous wrote:I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating or not, I don't think I could ever get over it if DH claimed our child isn't really his. Call me a b*tch, tell me I'm the worst human being in the world, whatever. But bring our child into it and reject our child to hurt me? Nah. It wouldn't be the healthy or "right" reaction but I'd be very tempted to invite him to leave our lives and never come back if he really didn't think he was the father.

Totally. I could tell my DH I cheated all through TTC our two kids and there is still no way he would ever say they were not his. What kind of father says that. So far over the line. So far.

DP here. I agree with this point, which is why I asked OP for more context about their history. And if they never fight it’s even more insane to have an interaction with these types of accusations. I wonder if OP used to be an AP, maybe her DH is moving on to the next one and mad about being trapped. Or maybe there is something else entirely going on that is causing him to blow up at her. But there are many signs that point to an u dercurrent of infidelity here.

OP here, what is AP? I was not his sude chick, if that’s what it means.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating or not, I don't think I could ever get over it if DH claimed our child isn't really his. Call me a b*tch, tell me I'm the worst human being in the world, whatever. But bring our child into it and reject our child to hurt me? Nah. It wouldn't be the healthy or "right" reaction but I'd be very tempted to invite him to leave our lives and never come back if he really didn't think he was the father.

Totally. I could tell my DH I cheated all through TTC our two kids and there is still no way he would ever say they were not his. What kind of father says that. So far over the line. So far.

DP here. I agree with this point, which is why I asked OP for more context about their history. And if they never fight it’s even more insane to have an interaction with these types of accusations. I wonder if OP used to be an AP, maybe her DH is moving on to the next one and mad about being trapped. Or maybe there is something else entirely going on that is causing him to blow up at her. But there are many signs that point to an u dercurrent of infidelity here.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it happens, but I've never understood why someone having an affair would frequently bring up the name of the affair partner to their spouse. If I were ever going to have an affair, I doubt I'd ever bring up their name.

(In fact, I'd probably go overboard.
[Wife]: Mentions woman next door.
[Me]: Who? Never heard of her. Someone lives next door?)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mistakenly brought up a random guy during an argument. I was trying to explain to my husband that he wouldn’t like it if I talked about a male friend as much as he talks about his female friend. He constantly brings up this one woman’s name and I was trying to explain why it bothers me. So, I said.. “Imagine if everyday I said, Jason said this and he did this. It was so funny. He’s hilarious” etc. He FLIPPED and turned it into me wanting to have sex with the guy who’s nane that I used in my example. He said I must want him because I’m clearly thinking about him. This escalated into him saying he knew that he couldn’t trust me, that I must love messing with married men, that I have no money and use him (my husband) for money, our kids are probably not his.... pretty much every possible insult in the book. I’m shocked and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was just making an example. I feel like this just ended our 10 year marriage, over nothing. We never fight. This came out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do.

Oh boy. Classic. He's having an affair.