OP,

It is unreasonable to expect the school to make up for this. If you are unwilling to homeschool or hire a private tutor, then forget about it.

I know people have moved in order to be near the best instructors in dance--and, the child lost interest in dancing. I know of a kid who changed schools so he could be on a "better" sports team and get a better crack at playing in college. He did play in college--but not at a competitive level. And, he likely would have had the same opportunity at his original high school. And, I know many, many who have paid for special instruction for their kids.

If DD is truly a prodigy and genuinely wants to pursue this sport, you should be realistic about this. Why? Because she loves it or because she wants to "be an ice skater in the Olympics?" Be realistic.

Look at all the kids who have this dream and never make it.

It is your family that needs to decide this. You must make it work--not the school. And, you cannot expect her to have PE or Art every day while she is away. The school cannot be expected to adapt their schedule to yours. It must be vice versa.

Most kids I know who are super talented, do their training BEFORE school in the mornings. Have you considered that option?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skating is a money sink and a self esteem drain.

Thanks Tonya Harding

DP and I wouldn’t say scam but I did see that was pretty easy to take advantage of parents whose children did well in the early years and coax them into additional lessons and classes pretty easily all the while pumping up the child’s and parent’s ego but really knowing that they would only be competitive at the Recreational level if even that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skating is a money sink and a self esteem drain.

Thanks Tonya Harding

It is a well known scam "sport".

You can ask and you can find a way to do this but stop and ask yourself why you are really doing it? Just because your DD wants to do it doesn’t mean you do it. You can say no and life will go on. If your child’s coach is suggesting it, push the coach on specifics. What does your child need to practice specifically at these sessions? Will practicing by herself provide improvement? Does she need to practice the basics? Does she need to get stronger in general? What about off ice training? If you aren’t getting anything very specific, very laid out from a coach, then the coach is just make a generic suggestion she gives all students and it’s nothing specific to your child.

Also know that adults at school - parents and teachers etc - will humor you to your face and then make fun of you behind your back. If your child was highly competitive believe me you would not be on this board seeking advice because some professional would be guiding you already.

Anonymous wrote:Skating is a money sink and a self esteem drain.

Thanks Tonya Harding

There are some private schools that allow you to take courses ala carte.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that the default response seems to be: "No, why would the school work with you on sport-related absences?"

Maybe because schools aren't prisons? And parents are able to see how their kids are doing and work with schools on flexibility (IF the child is excelling and not struggling)? No one is suggesting the school do extra work other than possibly send homework, lists home... Sure it wouldn't be fair to ask for special tutoring or extra attention for absences, but if a child is excelling and the parent willing to put in extra work to make sure things are tracking...why not allow for exceptions in some circumstances?

This is just common sense- and this is why so many parents end up home-schooling, because of these attitudes of unflexibility. The market is speaking, in terms of people fleeing public schools for private or home-school. Not this is this the main reason, but it's part of it. Public schools would be wise to think of how to bring people in, not push them away, such as with part-day options for home-schoolers, or approved flexible options for elite athletes or gifted kids. (Granted Arlington public certainly has the opposite problem of too many students, not too few - but in other parts of the country, people are exiting public schools...)

It sounds to me like you have no idea how an elementary school classroom works. And, yes, that would be a lot of extra work for a teacher, particularly one with a class of 25-30 students, many of whom probably have their own extra needs that are more relevant to an education than accommodating a mom who doesn't want to schedule her DD's extracurriculars around the school schedule.

I don't know enough to dispute that this would involve a lot of extra work for the teacher and school. I do have an issue with the characterization of "a mom who doesn't want to schedule her DD's extracurriculars around the school schedule." As was pointed out earlier in this thread, there is very little ice time available after school gets out (perhaps as little as none). The mom is not making the determination that she can't schedule after school, its simply not a possibility.

How about instead of spouting off and criticizing the schools when you "don't know enough to dispute that this would involve a lot of extra work for the teacher and school," you sit and think for a moment about how this would work in practice. If the kid's class does math in the last couple of hours of the day, how do you think it's going to work when the kid is missing 50% of the class's math sessions? Do you think she's going to pass math if she misses half of the tests? OP says she doesn't want to homeschool her kid, but she effectively would have to in all of the subjects her child misses for skating. Do you really think the classroom teacher should have to reconfigure the class routine every couple of days to make sure OP's kid doesn't miss too much of one subject? The whole school should have to switch around specials every couple of weeks to make sure she doesn't miss too many sessions of those? What if one class has a student who leaves two hours early 2-3 days per week for their sport, and another who arrives two hours late 2-3 days per week for theirs, what do those classes do?

Two things: First, I didn't criticize the schools. I said explicitly that it might be too much work for the school to accomodate. I was merely defending the mom, who is not considering this approach on a whim.

Second, if leaving early every day means the kid is going to miss math every day, that would be a problem. But what if the part of school she was going to miss was PE, music, and art. Do those have some importance? Of course. But missing them regularly would not be the same as missing, for example, math.

You don't have school-aged kids, do you?

I actually have two HS age kids. Which part of what I wrote made you think I didn't?

The part where you don't seem to be familiar with how schools operate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about public schools is that they can't make exceptions for one students that they couldn't make for every similarly-situated student. Once you start adjusting schedules to accommodate one student's mid-day extracurricular practice, you then have to accommodate every single other student who would also like to skip part of the school day to practice their extracurricular activity.

Agree with this. It puts a tremendous burden on the teacher to be sure that your kid is caught up.

OP - i think home school is what you should be doing. Or pay for a private tutor.

Yes. OP has already said she cannot handle homeschooling, but it sounds like she wants the school to handle all the extras missed.

I know my DS would have loved to have missed school three times a week for private lessons in whatever was his passion at the time.

Anonymous wrote:The thing about public schools is that they can't make exceptions for one students that they couldn't make for every similarly-situated student. Once you start adjusting schedules to accommodate one student's mid-day extracurricular practice, you then have to accommodate every single other student who would also like to skip part of the school day to practice their extracurricular activity.

Agree with this. It puts a tremendous burden on the teacher to be sure that your kid is caught up.

OP - i think home school is what you should be doing. Or pay for a private tutor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that the default response seems to be: "No, why would the school work with you on sport-related absences?"

Maybe because schools aren't prisons? And parents are able to see how their kids are doing and work with schools on flexibility (IF the child is excelling and not struggling)? No one is suggesting the school do extra work other than possibly send homework, lists home... Sure it wouldn't be fair to ask for special tutoring or extra attention for absences, but if a child is excelling and the parent willing to put in extra work to make sure things are tracking...why not allow for exceptions in some circumstances?

This is just common sense- and this is why so many parents end up home-schooling, because of these attitudes of unflexibility. The market is speaking, in terms of people fleeing public schools for private or home-school. Not this is this the main reason, but it's part of it. Public schools would be wise to think of how to bring people in, not push them away, such as with part-day options for home-schoolers, or approved flexible options for elite athletes or gifted kids. (Granted Arlington public certainly has the opposite problem of too many students, not too few - but in other parts of the country, people are exiting public schools...)

It sounds to me like you have no idea how an elementary school classroom works. And, yes, that would be a lot of extra work for a teacher, particularly one with a class of 25-30 students, many of whom probably have their own extra needs that are more relevant to an education than accommodating a mom who doesn't want to schedule her DD's extracurriculars around the school schedule.

I don't know enough to dispute that this would involve a lot of extra work for the teacher and school. I do have an issue with the characterization of "a mom who doesn't want to schedule her DD's extracurriculars around the school schedule." As was pointed out earlier in this thread, there is very little ice time available after school gets out (perhaps as little as none). The mom is not making the determination that she can't schedule after school, its simply not a possibility.

How about instead of spouting off and criticizing the schools when you "don't know enough to dispute that this would involve a lot of extra work for the teacher and school," you sit and think for a moment about how this would work in practice. If the kid's class does math in the last couple of hours of the day, how do you think it's going to work when the kid is missing 50% of the class's math sessions? Do you think she's going to pass math if she misses half of the tests? OP says she doesn't want to homeschool her kid, but she effectively would have to in all of the subjects her child misses for skating. Do you really think the classroom teacher should have to reconfigure the class routine every couple of days to make sure OP's kid doesn't miss too much of one subject? The whole school should have to switch around specials every couple of weeks to make sure she doesn't miss too many sessions of those? What if one class has a student who leaves two hours early 2-3 days per week for their sport, and another who arrives two hours late 2-3 days per week for theirs, what do those classes do?

Two things: First, I didn't criticize the schools. I said explicitly that it might be too much work for the school to accomodate. I was merely defending the mom, who is not considering this approach on a whim.

Second, if leaving early every day means the kid is going to miss math every day, that would be a problem. But what if the part of school she was going to miss was PE, music, and art. Do those have some importance? Of course. But missing them regularly would not be the same as missing, for example, math.

You don't have school-aged kids, do you?

I actually have two HS age kids. Which part of what I wrote made you think I didn't?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that the default response seems to be: "No, why would the school work with you on sport-related absences?"

Maybe because schools aren't prisons? And parents are able to see how their kids are doing and work with schools on flexibility (IF the child is excelling and not struggling)? No one is suggesting the school do extra work other than possibly send homework, lists home... Sure it wouldn't be fair to ask for special tutoring or extra attention for absences, but if a child is excelling and the parent willing to put in extra work to make sure things are tracking...why not allow for exceptions in some circumstances?

This is just common sense- and this is why so many parents end up home-schooling, because of these attitudes of unflexibility. The market is speaking, in terms of people fleeing public schools for private or home-school. Not this is this the main reason, but it's part of it. Public schools would be wise to think of how to bring people in, not push them away, such as with part-day options for home-schoolers, or approved flexible options for elite athletes or gifted kids. (Granted Arlington public certainly has the opposite problem of too many students, not too few - but in other parts of the country, people are exiting public schools...)

It sounds to me like you have no idea how an elementary school classroom works. And, yes, that would be a lot of extra work for a teacher, particularly one with a class of 25-30 students, many of whom probably have their own extra needs that are more relevant to an education than accommodating a mom who doesn't want to schedule her DD's extracurriculars around the school schedule.

I don't know enough to dispute that this would involve a lot of extra work for the teacher and school. I do have an issue with the characterization of "a mom who doesn't want to schedule her DD's extracurriculars around the school schedule." As was pointed out earlier in this thread, there is very little ice time available after school gets out (perhaps as little as none). The mom is not making the determination that she can't schedule after school, its simply not a possibility.

How about instead of spouting off and criticizing the schools when you "don't know enough to dispute that this would involve a lot of extra work for the teacher and school," you sit and think for a moment about how this would work in practice. If the kid's class does math in the last couple of hours of the day, how do you think it's going to work when the kid is missing 50% of the class's math sessions? Do you think she's going to pass math if she misses half of the tests? OP says she doesn't want to homeschool her kid, but she effectively would have to in all of the subjects her child misses for skating. Do you really think the classroom teacher should have to reconfigure the class routine every couple of days to make sure OP's kid doesn't miss too much of one subject? The whole school should have to switch around specials every couple of weeks to make sure she doesn't miss too many sessions of those? What if one class has a student who leaves two hours early 2-3 days per week for their sport, and another who arrives two hours late 2-3 days per week for theirs, what do those classes do?

Two things: First, I didn't criticize the schools. I said explicitly that it might be too much work for the school to accomodate. I was merely defending the mom, who is not considering this approach on a whim.

Second, if leaving early every day means the kid is going to miss math every day, that would be a problem. But what if the part of school she was going to miss was PE, music, and art. Do those have some importance? Of course. But missing them regularly would not be the same as missing, for example, math.

You don't have school-aged kids, do you?

The thing about public schools is that they can't make exceptions for one students that they couldn't make for every similarly-situated student. Once you start adjusting schedules to accommodate one student's mid-day extracurricular practice, you then have to accommodate every single other student who would also like to skip part of the school day to practice their extracurricular activity.

The school won’t accommodate. Here is the thing- if she gets more and more serious about it- you may want to explore homeschool type options. I think there are online curriculums that you can do.