I would also suggest maybe a baby brush. My DD with thick and crazy matted hair hates having her hair brushed, so we got one of those baby fine brushes with lots of bristles. It takes longer, but it really works well. Also, we use this palmers conditioning oil spray. It smells like coconut and it really conditions the hair tremendously. Don't use a lot else the hair turns greasy. Garnier also makes a great anti frizz serum that you pump and massage into the hair. It's FANTASTIC!!!!!

We also had to try a LOT of different shampoos and conditioners that would work on my daughters hair. The best was a Pantene Smooth and sleek shampoo with the smooth and sleek conditioner. We help her put in the conditioner b/c she doesn't massage it in enough. Yes, I know it's more $$$, but it works the best on her crazy frizzy hair.

Hi OP
You already bought the good stuff it sounds like, but the pillowcase idea really helped us. Akso, once you have it more managed, it takes awhile . I found having combed out so many mats the breakage (top and back of her head was always worst) seems to more easily create tangles but got better once her hair grew out a bit.

Anonymous wrote:Try doing while she's in the bath with really wet hair and tons of conditioner, start from the bottom. Use the wet detangling brush.If you have a really big matted clump, try cutting just some strands and seeing if you can brush it out.
.
(I have cut out mats before).

+ 1.

Also, when you rinse out the conditioner, rinse the hair straight so that it does not get detangled again. Use leave in morrocon oil to keep it straight. Have you tried braiding her hair at night? Also use satin/silk pillow covers, it is a game changer.

Miracle 10 products works best for me. It's extremely expensive and sometimes amazon sells knock offs so I try to buy at Salons if I ever buy it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember these battles only too well with my mom! for my straight thin hair brushing it wet is a nightmare. my hair has to be dry before I can brush the knots out. good luck!

I have been hesitant to weigh in because DD and I have tightly curled African American hair that is prone to knots and tangles so I was not sure that thinner Caucasian textured hair would be amenable to the same techniques. But like the person above, I find that trying to brush matted tangles out of wet hair is harder than trying to detangle dry or damp hair.

I would suggest trying to pick the mats out with your fingers or a knitting needle, using olive oil, or a combination of olive oil and a detangler that is made for curly hair (look in the curly/African American section at target or a drugstore for products like kinky curly knot today, miss jackies knot on my watch detangler, or a detangler that specifically says it is for removing braids or detangling hair after braiding), BEFORE you wash. Then if tangles are left, wash with conditioner and use the wet brush as suggested above. I’ve had a couple of horrible matting experiences after having hair in small braids, and this technique, although painstaking, worked.

Once the mats are gone, detangling with a wet brush and washing with conditioner should work well to avoid ending up in the same situation in the future.

Good luck!

Thank you PP. I myself (OP) have very curly hair and use these products; always a mystery to me how to take care of DD’s very straight hair. Maybe I’ll try co-washing for her too.

Anonymous wrote:I remember these battles only too well with my mom! for my straight thin hair brushing it wet is a nightmare. my hair has to be dry before I can brush the knots out. good luck!

I have been hesitant to weigh in because DD and I have tightly curled African American hair that is prone to knots and tangles so I was not sure that thinner Caucasian textured hair would be amenable to the same techniques. But like the person above, I find that trying to brush matted tangles out of wet hair is harder than trying to detangle dry or damp hair.

I would suggest trying to pick the mats out with your fingers or a knitting needle, using olive oil, or a combination of olive oil and a detangler that is made for curly hair (look in the curly/African American section at target or a drugstore for products like kinky curly knot today, miss jackies knot on my watch detangler, or a detangler that specifically says it is for removing braids or detangling hair after braiding), BEFORE you wash. Then if tangles are left, wash with conditioner and use the wet brush as suggested above. I’ve had a couple of horrible matting experiences after having hair in small braids, and this technique, although painstaking, worked.

Once the mats are gone, detangling with a wet brush and washing with conditioner should work well to avoid ending up in the same situation in the future.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My child with long hair doesn't have special needs but had long hair already as a toddler, and at that young age couldn't tolerate much brushing.

What I did was two things:
1. Wash with CONDITIONER. No shampoo. Washes hair just as well and it glides afterward.
2. Sit her in front of her choice of video, however inane, to comb and brush it. I bought a very expensive set of Mason Pearson horn detangling comb and boar's bristle brush, but I don't know if that made any difference.

I know you mean well, but SN kids need to learn independence. They can’t be dependent on someone patiently combing out their hair. This kid needs a low maintenance hair style and be able to build up tolerance to hair brushing.

OP here. The advice given in the post was very good advice. My daughter has severe special needs and is not "learning independence." Please don't speak for every SN mom and child. My child is totally dependent on my combing out her hair. She is a bright kid who has severe physical disabilities who wants long hair. I would weep tears of joy if she could comb her hair, but she can't. She simply can't. It's not a matter of "learning independence." She has all the independence in the world.

For those that gave tips, I really appreciate it. I have bought a wet brush. I have bought a wide tooth comb. I've bought 3 minute miracle. I've bought coconut oil. Hopefully it will go well today.

Thanks again.

OP, every few months my DD gets a trim of her ends (usually an inch or so, but her hair grows very fast). I have found that in addition to the wet brush, shampoo, conditioner (combing out in the shower) and light leave in conditioner, the trim helps keep the knotting from getting really bad.

This is what we do:

1. Silk pillowcase (I don't know if this actually helps, but it was worth a shot).

2. DD's hair is thick, sort of wavy, and corse. We use Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Shine Shampoo and mix the matching conditioner with their buttercream conditioner.

3. While the conditioner is in DD uses the wet brush to get out as many tangles as she can. She sometimes brushes her hair before washing to get a jump start.

4. After rinsing we use a leave in conditioner (same brand).

5. She brushes again.

6. Then I brush through to get every last knot/snag while DH reads her a bedtime story. I start at the ends, which are normally okay, then slowly work my way up. Very small sections, holding the hair higher up so it pulls less. DD is only 6, which is while we still have this step. She's getting a lot better at brushing herself, but after washing her hair me going through it helps keep it untangled longer.

7. Sometimes I'll braid it overnight to help keep the tangles at bay (she's a sweaty sleeper), but often I don't. She'll then brush it in the morning before school.

She hates to have it tied up in any way ("the kids will make fun of me"), and she doesn't want it cut short so this is our routine for now. Good products will help, we went through about 4 different brands before we found something that works for her hair.

I remember these battles only too well with my mom! for my straight thin hair brushing it wet is a nightmare. my hair has to be dry before I can brush the knots out. good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My child with long hair doesn't have special needs but had long hair already as a toddler, and at that young age couldn't tolerate much brushing.

What I did was two things:
1. Wash with CONDITIONER. No shampoo. Washes hair just as well and it glides afterward.
2. Sit her in front of her choice of video, however inane, to comb and brush it. I bought a very expensive set of Mason Pearson horn detangling comb and boar's bristle brush, but I don't know if that made any difference.

I know you mean well, but SN kids need to learn independence. They can’t be dependent on someone patiently combing out their hair. This kid needs a low maintenance hair style and be able to build up tolerance to hair brushing.

OP here. The advice given in the post was very good advice. My daughter has severe special needs and is not "learning independence." Please don't speak for every SN mom and child. My child is totally dependent on my combing out her hair. She is a bright kid who has severe physical disabilities who wants long hair. I would weep tears of joy if she could comb her hair, but she can't. She simply can't. It's not a matter of "learning independence." She has all the independence in the world.

For those that gave tips, I really appreciate it. I have bought a wet brush. I have bought a wide tooth comb. I've bought 3 minute miracle. I've bought coconut oil. Hopefully it will go well today.

Thanks again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My child with long hair doesn't have special needs but had long hair already as a toddler, and at that young age couldn't tolerate much brushing.

What I did was two things:
1. Wash with CONDITIONER. No shampoo. Washes hair just as well and it glides afterward.
2. Sit her in front of her choice of video, however inane, to comb and brush it. I bought a very expensive set of Mason Pearson horn detangling comb and boar's bristle brush, but I don't know if that made any difference.

I know you mean well, but SN kids need to learn independence. They can’t be dependent on someone patiently combing out their hair. This kid needs a low maintenance hair style and be able to build up tolerance to hair brushing.

Of course you're right, but sometimes independence takes more time in certain kids than others, regardless of whether they have special needs or not. At 10 I wouldn't mind doing it for my DD, let alone my other child who has special needs (but has short hair).

Anonymous wrote:
My child with long hair doesn't have special needs but had long hair already as a toddler, and at that young age couldn't tolerate much brushing.

What I did was two things:
1. Wash with CONDITIONER. No shampoo. Washes hair just as well and it glides afterward.
2. Sit her in front of her choice of video, however inane, to comb and brush it. I bought a very expensive set of Mason Pearson horn detangling comb and boar's bristle brush, but I don't know if that made any difference.

I know you mean well, but SN kids need to learn independence. They can’t be dependent on someone patiently combing out their hair. This kid needs a low maintenance hair style and be able to build up tolerance to hair brushing.

My child with long hair doesn't have special needs but had long hair already as a toddler, and at that young age couldn't tolerate much brushing.

What I did was two things:
1. Wash with CONDITIONER. No shampoo. Washes hair just as well and it glides afterward.
2. Sit her in front of her choice of video, however inane, to comb and brush it. I bought a very expensive set of Mason Pearson horn detangling comb and boar's bristle brush, but I don't know if that made any difference.