OP, this might be a helpful starting point.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-policies/statutes/putative/

Some states make it very difficult for a father to disrupt an adoption the mother has sought. GF’s parents could send her to Utah to give birth and if he hadn’t filed forms with the Utah putative father registry Utah would adopt out that baby without his consent. If GF has ties to other states and cannot be counted on to put his name on the birth certificate he may need to file with putative father registries in multiple states. Seriously they should get a lawyer if they don’t want the baby adopted. But, also, the boy may be telling his mom one thing and gf another.

My suggestion: stop dealing with trashy people and keep your kids far, far away.

Pro lifer here.

And this is why I tell my boys to only have sex with women who share their views on abortion and pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:I think this baby would be better off adopted. Two loving parents are what this baby needs. Not unmarried teenage parents.

You don’t think unmarried, teen parents can be loving? I will tell DH his childhood never happened.

I think this baby would be better off adopted. Two loving parents are what this baby needs. Not unmarried teenage parents.

Anonymous wrote:To add a different perspective, maybe the girlfriend and her parents don't want your friend to adopt because they live in the same town. Putting a child up for adoption is a painful decision for most and if that child lived in the same town that would make things tough for the girlfriend and her parents.

Of course that’s why!If he keeps the baby it basically forces her to be the mother. They’re in the same social circles so one family keeping the baby means both kids are parents.

Also, there seems to be a huge disconnect between what the boy is telling his mother and his girlfriend. I don’t see how the couple is still dating and on good terms if the girlfriend has a completely different view of what’s going to happen with the baby than he does. As a wealthy, smart, healthy girl I can imagine she would have her pick of any adoptive family she wants for her baby. It’s weird that this process hasn’t started yet. And if it has, the boyfriend has either stayed silent or supportive of her decision.

Something doesn’t add up. He’s telling his family and his girlfriend two different things. It’s like he just goes along with whoever he’s talking to without taking time to decide what he actually wants.

Anonymous wrote:The teen parent are the ones who should be making this decision.

My prediction: Teen mom is going to fall in love with her baby when it's born and she will move in with her boyfriend's parents to raise the child w/their help and the help of her boyfriend.

My prediction- teen mom heads off to college, parties her ass off, graduates, falls for her college sweetheart, marries and sued for custody of the 6 year old.

The teen parent are the ones who should be making this decision.

My prediction: Teen mom is going to fall in love with her baby when it's born and she will move in with her boyfriend's parents to raise the child w/their help and the help of her boyfriend.

Anonymous wrote:To add a different perspective, maybe the girlfriend and her parents don't want your friend to adopt because they live in the same town. Putting a child up for adoption is a painful decision for most and if that child lived in the same town that would make things tough for the girlfriend and her parents.

Oh well. Sounds like shipping h baby off to an unknown family miles away will be tough on the father and his family.
If paternity is proven, he has a right to custody, if he wants it. Even if it’s painful for the mother.

To add a different perspective, maybe the girlfriend and her parents don't want your friend to adopt because they live in the same town. Putting a child up for adoption is a painful decision for most and if that child lived in the same town that would make things tough for the girlfriend and her parents.

Does the son plan to break up with his girlfriend (or vice versa) or do they plan to stay together? (Apologies if I missed this detail)

Would be very awkward if he remained the father in this child's life, and she was not the mother, and they were still dating!

As opposed to his parents officially adopting and raising the child. Or I guess the other possibility is that he remains a father on paper but that the grandparents effectively act as parents?

Anonymous wrote:The boyfriend and his family sound like assholes. Who tells a mother who to give their baby up to adoption to? She should have threatened an abortion. The mom has every right to choose the adoptive parents and it makes sense she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s elderly parents raising the kid.

I assume this is a troll... Elderly parents? His parents could be in their 30's, he is only 18.

This thread is a textbook example in reading comprehension failure. Your friends son is the biological father, he has paternal rights guaranteed under the law, only a family lawyer in the state where he and the child live will know exactly what they are. Tell your friend to contact a family lawyer in her area, once she and her son have a very clear understanding of what could happen if the family doesn't agree, she and her son should consider meeting with gf and her family to discuss what they have in mind. Perhaps the gf's father is pushing back because he doesn't understand that there will be little/no expectations from his daughter.

I thought OP wanted to adopt the baby, not that she wanted her son to retain custody.