Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd see someone writing about me on this forum but I'm 99% sure I'm "Joe." Here is the thing.

Indeed, it's not just about the sex with OP's wife. I also get a perverse thrill from being able to deny OP what I am taking from his wife. It's wrong, I know but I can't help it.

When we have a planned sexual encounter, I've told her I don't want her having sex with her H the same day, or the day before. It helps build the sexual tension in her, I don't want OP's sloppy seconds, and as I said, I get a kick out of knowing I can deprive OP of his pretty wife whenever I like.

I also insist she keep her wedding ring on whenever we are together. I've taken a few cell phone shots of her hand wrapped around my.. with her ring showing and it turns me on.

OP could end this whenever he likes but he just doesn't have the balls to do so. I never thought he's let it go this far and now he's pretty much lost the best part of her or at best, he has to share that part. As long as he realizes he will always be second in line we will all continue to get along just fine.

If he wants to change the rules (that he never made) or start enforcing new rules, talking to her won't do any good. She is stuck between me telling her what to do all this time, and OP suddenly finding his balls. All he has to do is arrange to sit down, look me in the eye and tell me how it's going to be going forward.

After reading his post here, I do feel for the guy but, It will never happen. He is exactly like all the other guys whose wives I've been involved with after they agreed to the open marriage thing.

In the meantime Op is getting off watching the videos his wife takes of her encounters with JOE...that's the part that Op is leaving out. There is a whole level of kink that your pretty AP never lets you in on. Op agreed to this because there is a certain pleasure he gets out of the arrangement, too. Or that would be my guess anyway.

Enjoy being the star.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give your wife an ultimatum- you or Joe.

She already made her choice, many times as he recounted.

Joe is now top dog and loving life. He gets the best part of her without the responsibilities of marriage. He even gets her on holidays and can depend on her to help out in a pinch while Joe has committed to nothing.

Her rejecting sex with you in favor of her planned sex that night with Joe shows you exactly where you stand. You accepted that and did nothing? I see that as a defining moment in your relationship. I'm all for open marriage and have done it myself but you need to have clear boundaries, and it sounds like you don't. Joe is top dog. You get whatever it left, if anything.

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd see someone writing about me on this forum but I'm 99% sure I'm "Joe." Here is the thing.

Indeed, it's not just about the sex with OP's wife. I also get a perverse thrill from being able to deny OP what I am taking from his wife. It's wrong, I know but I can't help it.

When we have a planned sexual encounter, I've told her I don't want her having sex with her H the same day, or the day before. It helps build the sexual tension in her, I don't want OP's sloppy seconds, and as I said, I get a kick out of knowing I can deprive OP of his pretty wife whenever I like.

I also insist she keep her wedding ring on whenever we are together. I've taken a few cell phone shots of her hand wrapped around my.. with her ring showing and it turns me on.

OP could end this whenever he likes but he just doesn't have the balls to do so. I never thought he's let it go this far and now he's pretty much lost the best part of her or at best, he has to share that part. As long as he realizes he will always be second in line we will all continue to get along just fine.

If he wants to change the rules (that he never made) or start enforcing new rules, talking to her won't do any good. She is stuck between me telling her what to do all this time, and OP suddenly finding his balls. All he has to do is arrange to sit down, look me in the eye and tell me how it's going to be going forward.

After reading his post here, I do feel for the guy but, It will never happen. He is exactly like all the other guys whose wives I've been involved with after they agreed to the open marriage thing.

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd see someone writing about me on this forum but I'm 99% sure I'm "Joe." Here is the thing.

Indeed, it's not just about the sex with OP's wife. I also get a perverse thrill from being able to deny OP what I am taking from his wife. It's wrong, I know but I can't help it.

When we have a planned sexual encounter, I've told her I don't want her having sex with her H the same day, or the day before. It helps build the sexual tension in her, I don't want OP's sloppy seconds, and as I said, I get a kick out of knowing I can deprive OP of his pretty wife whenever I like.

I also insist she keep her wedding ring on whenever we are together. I've taken a few cell phone shots of her hand wrapped around my.. with her ring showing and it turns me on.

OP could end this whenever he likes but he just doesn't have the balls to do so. I never thought he's let it go this far and now he's pretty much lost the best part of her or at best, he has to share that part. As long as he realizes he will always be second in line we will all continue to get along just fine.

If he wants to change the rules (that he never made) or start enforcing new rules, talking to her won't do any good. She is stuck between me telling her what to do all this time, and OP suddenly finding his balls. All he has to do is arrange to sit down, look me in the eye and tell me how it's going to be going forward.

After reading his post here, I do feel for the guy but, It will never happen. He is exactly like all the other guys whose wives I've been involved with after they agreed to the open marriage thing.

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I'd see someone writing about me on this forum but I'm 99% sure I'm "Joe." Here is the thing.

Indeed, it's not just about the sex with OP's wife. I also get a perverse thrill from being able to deny OP what I am taking from his wife. It's wrong, I know but I can't help it.

When we have a planned sexual encounter, I've told her I don't want her having sex with her H the same day, or the day before. It helps build the sexual tension in her, I don't want OP's sloppy seconds, and as I said, I get a kick out of knowing I can deprive OP of his pretty wife whenever I like.

I also insist she keep her wedding ring on whenever we are together. I've taken a few cell phone shots of her hand wrapped around my.. with her ring showing and it turns me on.

OP could end this whenever he likes but he just doesn't have the balls to do so. I never thought he's let it go this far and now he's pretty much lost the best part of her or at best, he has to share that part. As long as he realizes he will always be second in line we will all continue to get along just fine.

If he wants to change the rules (that he never made) or start enforcing new rules, talking to her won't do any good. She is stuck between me telling her what to do all this time, and OP suddenly finding his balls. All he has to do is arrange to sit down, look me in the eye and tell me how it's going to be going forward.

After reading his post here, I do feel for the guy but, It will never happen. He is exactly like all the other guys whose wives I've been involved with after they agreed to the open marriage thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of flavors of nonmonogamy. Sounds like you are "monogamish" (flings outside of a central core partnership) and she might be full on polyamorous (multiple partners with varying levels of romantic, sexual and logistical entanglements)

Neither is right or wrong, but you better get on the same page.

It sounds like you need to sit down with her and talk about YOUR connection. Let her know that you miss weekends away with her. You you miss the sexual connection (assuming you've been turned down more often than the day you mentioned she had a date with Joe later...) try to focus the conversation entirely on what is currently not working for you and don't bring up Joe at all. Otherwise you'll sound whiny.

Say, honey, I miss weekends away with you. I know Labor day is out, but can we plan a few tonight for just us?

Thanks, this is the best response/advice that I have received. I think you are right about the different levels. In the beginning it was just flings for her as well and I never realized that she just looks at this ad an extension of what we have done in the past and what was acceptable.

Our relationship sexually and otherwise has had no problems except where he is concerned and he just seems like an obstacle tk our "normal" way of life.

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of flavors of nonmonogamy. Sounds like you are "monogamish" (flings outside of a central core partnership) and she might be full on polyamorous (multiple partners with varying levels of romantic, sexual and logistical entanglements)

Neither is right or wrong, but you better get on the same page.

It sounds like you need to sit down with her and talk about YOUR connection. Let her know that you miss weekends away with her. You you miss the sexual connection (assuming you've been turned down more often than the day you mentioned she had a date with Joe later...) try to focus the conversation entirely on what is currently not working for you and don't bring up Joe at all. Otherwise you'll sound whiny.

Say, honey, I miss weekends away with you. I know Labor day is out, but can we plan a few tonight for just us?

Anonymous wrote:I am not sexually jealous, my wife can have sex with whomever. But no way I am sitting around while she is running around disrespecting me

Dude, go hit up some strange and let her come crawling back to you. One thing I have learned in the scene is she has zero leverage as Joe has zero interest of being a step dad to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:School will be starting again soon, sweetie!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of flavors of nonmonogamy. Sounds like you are "monogamish" (flings outside of a central core partnership) and she might be full on polyamorous (multiple partners with varying levels of romantic, sexual and logistical entanglements)

Neither is right or wrong, but you better get on the same page.

It sounds like you need to sit down with her and talk about YOUR connection. Let her know that you miss weekends away with her. You you miss the sexual connection (assuming you've been turned down more often than the day you mentioned she had a date with Joe later...) try to focus the conversation entirely on what is currently not working for you and don't bring up Joe at all. Otherwise you'll sound whiny.

Say, honey, I miss weekends away with you. I know Labor day is out, but can we plan a few tonight for just us?

“Honey, something isn’t working for me.” Oh, could it be Joe’s D in your wife? I think he needs to be a little more specific than that.

Actually, OP was pretty clear he didn't care if his wife got some strange. He started to care when she became less available for sex and time with him.