Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 and for the record they all have the same dad (my ex-husband). Over the years the question of how many fathers has come up with several first dates, with the most recent occurrence taking place this afternoon. As soon as I mentioned having 4 kids, he followed up with "how many dads?"

Each time I am a bit miffed by the question. Although I am glad mine all have the same dad, why early on does it matter how many they have? The question is rude.


Guys, have you ever asked this question, if so why? Ladies, have you ever been asked?

Is some economic classes and cultures it is a required question.

Which ones? Do you know most poor black single moms have just one kid in their lifetime? One kid means one father.

The question itself is a red flag, OP. These men assume that because you agreed to a date with them that means there must be something wrong with you. Stop dating men who pick you up in parking lots. They'll assume that you're easy or low-class, and they won't respect you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

Why on earth would you give your number to a stranger you met in a parking lot? This strikes me as dangerous and thirsty.

If interested equals thirsty.... I guess I am thirsty. Shrugs shoulders. Blowing men off who show interest in you, when you are interested as well is silly. I caught his eye and he caught mine too. It was broad daylight and I was not in harms way.

I know online dating seems normal to the youngins, but how do you think people were meeting prior to its existence?

Sheesh. It’s just one date. Dating isn’t supposed to be about seeing how someone measures up to your checklist and finding ways to rule them out, it’s about getting to know someone and having FUN. If a guy thinks kids are a deal breaker and will be pissed someone “wasted” his time, it’s his responsibility to ask about kids beforehand. If he didn’t ask, that’s on him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

Why on earth would you give your number to a stranger you met in a parking lot? This strikes me as dangerous and thirsty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.



Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

Well, a middle aged mom of 4 picking up strange guys in parking lots kind of lends itself to a certain type of "catch."

Are you male or female? I ask because having guys hit on you wherever is pretty much the norm. Would it have been any different if he had done it in the produce section of the grocery store or at the bar?? Funny how what used to be normal is now viewed as abnormal, and what used to seem weird (online dating) is now the norm.

Doesn’t mean you have to date them. I get hit on all the time at gas stations. PITA. You don’t have to give them your number just because they ask.

I know this and I rarely do, but I wanted to this time. I don't see anything wrong with exchanging numbers with someone if they catch your attention. Him being in his car in the parking lot is irrelevant

Yes but springing four kids on a first date is rude. I don’t date men with kids or married men so I would be pretty pissed if some guy did not bother to tell me this kind of info prior to the date.

+1000. No wonder she gets the question!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I dated when I had four kids. And someone married me. Now I have six kids.

You and Kris Jenner!

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 and for the record they all have the same dad (my ex-husband). Over the years the question of how many fathers has come up with several first dates, with the most recent occurrence taking place this afternoon. As soon as I mentioned having 4 kids, he followed up with "how many dads?"

Each time I am a bit miffed by the question. Although I am glad mine all have the same dad, why early on does it matter how many they have? The question is rude.


Guys, have you ever asked this question, if so why? Ladies, have you ever been asked?

Is some economic classes and cultures it is a required question.

What a bunch of pearl clutchers on here.

OP is obviously still smoking hot after 4 kids. Men meet her in person, like what they see, and ask her out.

Implying that she needs to disclose her number of children prior to the date is ridiculous. If they care they should ask her. But many normal people consider the in-person date to be the time when you get to know someone.

OP, the question is weird and rude, but sometimes men are clueless. If you want you can head it off by saying "My ex-husband and I had 4 children, they split time with each of us now." (or whatever your circumstance is).

Good luck.

-a non smoking hot mom who hasn't caught anyone's eye in the better part of a decade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.



Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

Well, a middle aged mom of 4 picking up strange guys in parking lots kind of lends itself to a certain type of "catch."

Are you male or female? I ask because having guys hit on you wherever is pretty much the norm. Would it have been any different if he had done it in the produce section of the grocery store or at the bar?? Funny how what used to be normal is now viewed as abnormal, and what used to seem weird (online dating) is now the norm.

Doesn’t mean you have to date them. I get hit on all the time at gas stations. PITA. You don’t have to give them your number just because they ask.

I know this and I rarely do, but I wanted to this time. I don't see anything wrong with exchanging numbers with someone if they catch your attention. Him being in his car in the parking lot is irrelevant

Yes but springing four kids on a first date is rude. I don’t date men with kids or married men so I would be pretty pissed if some guy did not bother to tell me this kind of info prior to the date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.



Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

Well, a middle aged mom of 4 picking up strange guys in parking lots kind of lends itself to a certain type of "catch."

Are you male or female? I ask because having guys hit on you wherever is pretty much the norm. Would it have been any different if he had done it in the produce section of the grocery store or at the bar?? Funny how what used to be normal is now viewed as abnormal, and what used to seem weird (online dating) is now the norm.

Doesn’t mean you have to date them. I get hit on all the time at gas stations. PITA. You don’t have to give them your number just because they ask.

I know this and I rarely do, but I wanted to this time. I don't see anything wrong with exchanging numbers with someone if they catch your attention. Him being in his car in the parking lot is irrelevant

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I dated when I had four kids. And someone married me. Now I have six kids.

That’s great! Did you meet your DH in a parking lot?

Lol, nope. We were friends for years before dating.

Lots of women who ask men if they are involved with their kids. Same thing..assumption of deadbeat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I dated when I had four kids. And someone married me. Now I have six kids.

I also had no problems dating (and eventually remarrying) with 4 kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.



Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

Well, a middle aged mom of 4 picking up strange guys in parking lots kind of lends itself to a certain type of "catch."

Are you male or female? I ask because having guys hit on you wherever is pretty much the norm. Would it have been any different if he had done it in the produce section of the grocery store or at the bar?? Funny how what used to be normal is now viewed as abnormal, and what used to seem weird (online dating) is now the norm.

Doesn’t mean you have to date them. I get hit on all the time at gas stations. PITA. You don’t have to give them your number just because they ask.