Anonymous wrote:Op here. She rarely wears jewelry, but I know she would like a nice ring. She is a simple Midwest woman. She isn’t into vintage jewelry. The only thing she wears regularly is a necklace with her gemstone.

I’m a simple, Midwesterner. My engagements ring is the only jewelry I wear and I love it. DH had picked out a different ring in a style I hated. I pointed out the style walking past a mall jeweler and said I hated that look and loved simple solitaires. He fixed it before he asked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

Even my poor friends have rings that are more than 5k.

Then they’re not truly “poor”. Gimme a break.

My ring was $6,000. Our HHI is 160k - is that poor to you, PP?

Hilarious. My ring was also about $6k, and our HHI is $270k. And I have no idea how much my friends' engagement rings cost. Super weird that you do.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She rarely wears jewelry, but I know she would like a nice ring. She is a simple Midwest woman. She isn’t into vintage jewelry. The only thing she wears regularly is a necklace with her gemstone.

"Simple Midwest woman" is not how I would describe someone who wants a 30k ring.

OP How old are you and how long have you been at this income level? At your HHI and no mortgage, you should be maxing out both of your 401k's and saving a boatload towards a down payment already. If you aren't you need to seriously look at your spending habits. If it's going towards rent, move and save!

This is bigger than what you can v should spend. You are already not on the same page about money. Before you get married, be sure you are on at least a similar page about finances. Money is the #1 thing most married couples fight about. I suggest meeting with a financial planner and looking at your plan holistically so you can plan for the ring, wedding, honeymoon, house, possible children, retirement etc. Map out your goals as a couple now. It will tell you a lot about whether you should get married or not.

Has your girlfriend actually seen an asscher diamond in person? Because it’s a step cut and not a brilliant cut, it won’t sparkle the same way a round will. Not saying it’s a bad look by any means but it’s different than what the standard round diamond will look like. And as someone else said, it’s cut deeper to get the windmill look so it won’t face up the same mm as a round of the same carat. You may need to discuss this with your girlfriend so you’re both on the same page.

Btw, I’ve been married 14 years and I wear my rings daily. My parents have been married for 50 years and my mom wears hers daily. Not every woman stops wearing them.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t start off your marriage by disappointing her. There will be plenty of things to save money on. This shouldn’t be one of them.

Wrong! If she’s disappointed by something this trivial, don’t marry her.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She rarely wears jewelry, but I know she would like a nice ring. She is a simple Midwest woman. She isn’t into vintage jewelry. The only thing she wears regularly is a necklace with her gemstone.

not anymore, boo

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

Even my poor friends have rings that are more than 5k.

Then they’re not truly “poor”. Gimme a break.

My ring was $6,000. Our HHI is 160k - is that poor to you, PP?

Mine was $3,700. Couldn't care less. Barely wear it 11 years later.

Mine was $8k and I wear it every day and have these past 6 years and I adore it. He got me exactly what I wanted and I enjoy it.

I love mine too, despite the fact that it was "only" $3,700. I just find in my line of work it's not easy to wear daily. I'm glad he only spent that much. It's not something I could wear every day nor would I want to. It's a ring. It's not "my marriage." It's a piece of jewelry that happens to be quite lovely. I just don't wear it often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

Even my poor friends have rings that are more than 5k.

Then they’re not truly “poor”. Gimme a break.

My ring was $6,000. Our HHI is 160k - is that poor to you, PP?

Mine was $3,700. Couldn't care less. Barely wear it 11 years later.

Mine was $8k and I wear it every day and have these past 6 years and I adore it. He got me exactly what I wanted and I enjoy it.

Why don’t you just show her links to a $15k round stone next to a $15k asscher including the millimeter size so she understands how the budget will get eaten up by this choice in cut? She probably just sincerely doesn’t know what she’s asked for.

That said, being very knowledgeable about diamonds, and having had friends who fell for asscher cuts, sometimes they’d rather just have the smaller-looking rock. I don’t get it but it’s not my ring.

Don’t start off your marriage by disappointing her. There will be plenty of things to save money on. This shouldn’t be one of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$30-40k is a crazy amount. Don’t ever spend more than $5-10k.

Even my poor friends have rings that are more than 5k.

Then they’re not truly “poor”. Gimme a break.

My ring was $6,000. Our HHI is 160k - is that poor to you, PP?

Mine was $3,700. Couldn't care less. Barely wear it 11 years later.

I think max should be $30k.

Op here. She rarely wears jewelry, but I know she would like a nice ring. She is a simple Midwest woman. She isn’t into vintage jewelry. The only thing she wears regularly is a necklace with her gemstone.

Anonymous wrote:Two months salary is standard. Unless you think she is clueless as to how much it costs and would rather you spend less, it's not unreasonable for you to spend 30k. Sorry.

Why the f? Is that 2 months gross or 2 months net? Either way I would be pissed of my DH paid 2 months salary on my engagement ring.