Anonymous wrote:Why do you people think he owes it to her to be attracted to her? Talk about female entitlement! She was nice to him and so he owes her his romantic involvement? Apply the reverse-the-sex test and see what that sounds like.

+1

Finally, an older guy who actually has female friends and isn't creeping, and people are shaming him for it.

Throw her the pipe

I think that you did use her as an emotional crutch but I don't think it was malicious. I do think however that at 55 I have a hard time believing that you had absolutely no clue that she might have had more feelings and that you didn't just brush them aside or try to ignore them before.

I don't think that the relationship is over - but I do think the dynamics and nature of the relationship is changed. She provided that level of support because of her feelings for you. If she only saw you as "big brother" she may not have provided that LEVEL of emotional support and constant source of affirmation/affection/assurance, etc.

You will not get back to "what you had" because she will not feel what she has now knowing that you don't feel the same. On top of that, she's possibly embarrassed that you don't after expressing it to you.

I would leave her alone for awhile. I would not give her reasons you don't feel the same - if given opportunity it's okay to simply say "I don't have those romantic feelings for you". Most people get it without you dictating the reasons.

Be more careful with future opposite sex friendships and clear the air earlier moving forward.

Why do you people think he owes it to her to be attracted to her? Talk about female entitlement! She was nice to him and so he owes her his romantic involvement? Apply the reverse-the-sex test and see what that sounds like.

Anonymous wrote:You are crazy OP. Talk about a wasted opportunity!

+1.

We used to work together and kept in touch. I don't want to be mean but she isn't particularly pretty. Just because someone is young and keeps themselves in good shape it doesn't mean that they are hot. Not that this is relevant here as I am not attracted to her at all.

Really a good looking 32 year old, single woman is best buddies with a 55 year old recent divorcee? How come? How rich are you? What a pile of .....

It's okay, OP. Everyone has unrequited love. Save yourself from this woman who clearly has daddy issues.

I won't be evaluating it. We will never be a couple yet I accept we can't be friends either now.
OP.

Anonymous wrote:You used her as an emotional crutch. You are an asshole.

No he isn't. That's what friends do.