Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet, but someday we will. When my grandparents passed away, my father declined his inheritance and had it pass to each of his children so I received about $500,000 last year. It was an incredible gift for a young family. My Dad was very successful and I know he and my Mom have set up trusts for us but I'm clueless as to the value and I don't want to see it for many years because it will mean they are gone. But they have already set up very well funded 529 plans for each grandchild and they are very generous with gifts at Christmas. While my parents are very generous they expect each of their children and spouses to work hard and support themselves and we do.

Does knowing what's on the horizon change your ambition or what you do with the money you currently earn?

NP here. I'm in a similar situation to the PP you're responding to, and I would say that it has changed my perspective. DH and I have 2 little kids (under 5), are both 40, and we are high earners with a high 6 figure HHI. DH earns more than me, and his job is really demanding. I think for a while I really struggled with figuring out what it meant to raise a family with two ambitious people. I've also always known that I stood to inherit a decent sum of money, but I've generally not thought about it and it's always seemed super distant. But lately my dad has been spending a lot of time getting his estate in order, and it's forced me to recognize that the inheritance is real and that my parents will not live forever.

For me, this has caused me to recognize that while I'm ambitious in my own way, it's never really been tied to financial renumeration. I recently turned down a promotion with a sizable pay bump for a similar position without much of a pay bump but with a company whose culture I preferred. I came to the realization that I don't see myself as long-term in the for-profit sector...I'm just here now because there are some things I want to learn and it's easier to get high-quality, full-time childcare for little kids. I'm also incubating a non-profit in which I invest my own money, and in a few years I imagine I will focus more on that and possibly some targeted (though much lower paying) consulting. This will give me a ton of flexibility to be there for my kids when their lives get hectic while also advancing a cause I'm passionate about and continuing to keep my technical skills sharp. I don't see DH making major changes, because as much as he complains about some of the downsides, he still loves his job. The money makes it easier to spend on help and other conveniences, though.

BTW, though, in terms of luxury I totally agree with the PP about spending on high quality produce. DH and I have PhDs, so we spent most of our 20s barely scraping by. The biggest change I made when we got real jobs was buying fresh olives from the olive bar rather than olives in a jar (I love olives). 10 years and many luxury items and experiences later, nothing feels quite as luxurious to me as choosing the exact type and ratio of olives I want at the olive bar.

Anonymous wrote:Not yet, but someday we will. When my grandparents passed away, my father declined his inheritance and had it pass to each of his children so I received about $500,000 last year. It was an incredible gift for a young family. My Dad was very successful and I know he and my Mom have set up trusts for us but I'm clueless as to the value and I don't want to see it for many years because it will mean they are gone. But they have already set up very well funded 529 plans for each grandchild and they are very generous with gifts at Christmas. While my parents are very generous they expect each of their children and spouses to work hard and support themselves and we do.

Does knowing what's on the horizon change your ambition or what you do with the money you currently earn?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My wife inherited about a million last year.

We had previously been somewhat obsessive savers while DINKs and had another million from savings / investment returns.

I am still a senior associate at a law firm. Don't quite know why.

Either they will make me partner very soon or I will peace out and do something else with my life.

My job is hella stressful but I am less stressed about the partnership chase. It probably has sapped my motivation a bit. I do very good work and the firm is quite busy but I think the managing partner would like it if I put in more hours. But I have two little kids and don't want to, money or not.

Maybe that's a good thing. Who knows. Time will tell I guess.

Because 2 million is great but still not enough . . .

Yep, I'm aware.

I could fund our lifestyle on a less intense job but given current spending patterns we are still not FI (e.g., our investment returns are not sufficient to cover living expenses) though we could be there in about 10 years depending on savings or market returns.

I also actually bizarrely like my job just not the intensity. I would be fine doing it 40-45 hours a week for less money and less deadlines but that's just not what's on offer.

Get a gov't job.

Anonymous wrote:We just inherited 1M. It's all gone. 500k to the kids education, 500k invested. Absolutely no lifestyle change. Still getting ready for work and scrambling to get dinner on the table with 2 working parents.

Then how is it gone? I wish I had money that was "gone." lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My wife inherited about a million last year.

We had previously been somewhat obsessive savers while DINKs and had another million from savings / investment returns.

I am still a senior associate at a law firm. Don't quite know why.

Either they will make me partner very soon or I will peace out and do something else with my life.

My job is hella stressful but I am less stressed about the partnership chase. It probably has sapped my motivation a bit. I do very good work and the firm is quite busy but I think the managing partner would like it if I put in more hours. But I have two little kids and don't want to, money or not.

Maybe that's a good thing. Who knows. Time will tell I guess.

Because 2 million is great but still not enough . . .

yeah, who can retire on 2 million? especially if you are used to law firm lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't inherit money but did get $1m as my share of a sale of a company about a decade ago. I used part of it to put a big down payment on a summer house, invested the rest and continued to work my butt off. Part of that was necessary - the $1m had an earn out attached to it so we had to keep delivering revenue. Overall the $1m was a nice boost, and the summer house was a lifestyle changer in many ways, but really hasn't influenced my work/career choices.

That's because it's very different than having money just handed to you for existing. Congratulations on your success.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I inherited about 5 million approximately eight years ago. It is now closer to 7. I’m 40.

I left my corporate job and now work at a nonprofit. I actually still make a decent salary (95k) but do not worry about money. I am a diehard WOHM and believe that every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations should work. I’m aware that I am lucky to work at a flexible job that pays decently and make you feel good about what I contribute to the world. That said I did not earn this money and would not quit to rely on it.

My husband and I bought a $1 million house in cash and have comfort in the fact that our retirement and children’s college funds are completely funded.

These two statements aren't entirely congruent. You believe that everyone should "work," but, well, if they happen to inherit a lot of money, then it's cool to give up something more remunerative and work a more modestly paying, presumably more rewarding or fun job.

If you're good with that, then why would it not be OK to SAH/volunteer/pursue even more-rewarding hobbies? Or are you just one of those people who thinks that the only correct path is exactly what you have chosen at this point in time, for now, and everyone else is wrong?

That's pretty much it. This "belief" allows her to adjust her life in a manner favorable to her because of her inheritance, but also still lets her feel superior to others. Win win, if you can stomach the hypocrisy.

Not yet, but someday we will. When my grandparents passed away, my father declined his inheritance and had it pass to each of his children so I received about $500,000 last year. It was an incredible gift for a young family. My Dad was very successful and I know he and my Mom have set up trusts for us but I'm clueless as to the value and I don't want to see it for many years because it will mean they are gone. But they have already set up very well funded 529 plans for each grandchild and they are very generous with gifts at Christmas. While my parents are very generous they expect each of their children and spouses to work hard and support themselves and we do.

I didn't inherit money but did get $1m as my share of a sale of a company about a decade ago. I used part of it to put a big down payment on a summer house, invested the rest and continued to work my butt off. Part of that was necessary - the $1m had an earn out attached to it so we had to keep delivering revenue. Overall the $1m was a nice boost, and the summer house was a lifestyle changer in many ways, but really hasn't influenced my work/career choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I inherited about 5 million approximately eight years ago. It is now closer to 7. I’m 40.

I left my corporate job and now work at a nonprofit. I actually still make a decent salary (95k) but do not worry about money. I am a diehard WOHM and believe that every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations should work. I’m aware that I am lucky to work at a flexible job that pays decently and make you feel good about what I contribute to the world. That said I did not earn this money and would not quit to rely on it.

My husband and I bought a $1 million house in cash and have comfort in the fact that our retirement and children’s college funds are completely funded.

These two statements aren't entirely congruent. You believe that everyone should "work," but, well, if they happen to inherit a lot of money, then it's cool to give up something more remunerative and work a more modestly paying, presumably more rewarding or fun job.

If you're good with that, then why would it not be OK to SAH/volunteer/pursue even more-rewarding hobbies? Or are you just one of those people who thinks that the only correct path is exactly what you have chosen at this point in time, for now, and everyone else is wrong?

I mention that I am lucky to be able to pursue a job that pays less and is more flexible than what I had before. Not sure why you’re being so cruel when this is in fact about people have lost parents or people close to them. There’s a time and place. My believes are valid to me.

"My beliefs are valid to me" is nonsensical because your beliefs inherently involving hectoring / judging others than that disagree with you. My wife has a degree from Harvard, no major health issues or debilitating conditions. She's currently a SAHM. Apparently you find something wrong with that, but then when called on it (not by me, by other posters) then you call people cruel and say it's just about your own fulfillment. If so you should have written your original post differently.

Perfectly said. Sadly, that poster continues to be tone deaf.

I'm 'that poster' and this thread isn't about what I believe. Who was I 'hectoring'? I enjoy working and believe it's an important message to send to my kids, especially considering the wealth they will likely come into. People asked how people's lives were changed mid-career. Your wife's situation is of zero relevance to me, or to this thread. You are all SO defensive, it's telling.

Whom were you hectoring? "Every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations" who chooses to do something else other than paid employment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. I took advantage of it and took 11 years off to raise my three kids from birth till late elementary, being able to savor every moment with them, to show them daily how they are more important to me than making money I don't need. I am going back to work now, to show them what it means to have a healthy work/life balance. I take exciting trips and have them fully funded for college. I buy the best produce. Nothing much else is different about my life than most anyone else who is UMC, I'd bet. Nobody knows.

Nice little dig there on moms who work because they enjoy it.

Yeah, the kids aren't important to parents that work, after all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I inherited about 5 million approximately eight years ago. It is now closer to 7. I’m 40.

I left my corporate job and now work at a nonprofit. I actually still make a decent salary (95k) but do not worry about money. I am a diehard WOHM and believe that every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations should work. I’m aware that I am lucky to work at a flexible job that pays decently and make you feel good about what I contribute to the world. That said I did not earn this money and would not quit to rely on it.

My husband and I bought a $1 million house in cash and have comfort in the fact that our retirement and children’s college funds are completely funded.

These two statements aren't entirely congruent. You believe that everyone should "work," but, well, if they happen to inherit a lot of money, then it's cool to give up something more remunerative and work a more modestly paying, presumably more rewarding or fun job.

If you're good with that, then why would it not be OK to SAH/volunteer/pursue even more-rewarding hobbies? Or are you just one of those people who thinks that the only correct path is exactly what you have chosen at this point in time, for now, and everyone else is wrong?

I mention that I am lucky to be able to pursue a job that pays less and is more flexible than what I had before. Not sure why you’re being so cruel when this is in fact about people have lost parents or people close to them. There’s a time and place. My believes are valid to me.

"My beliefs are valid to me" is nonsensical because your beliefs inherently involving hectoring / judging others than that disagree with you. My wife has a degree from Harvard, no major health issues or debilitating conditions. She's currently a SAHM. Apparently you find something wrong with that, but then when called on it (not by me, by other posters) then you call people cruel and say it's just about your own fulfillment. If so you should have written your original post differently.

Perfectly said. Sadly, that poster continues to be tone deaf.

I'm 'that poster' and this thread isn't about what I believe. Who was I 'hectoring'? I enjoy working and believe it's an important message to send to my kids, especially considering the wealth they will likely come into. People asked how people's lives were changed mid-career. Your wife's situation is of zero relevance to me, or to this thread. You are all SO defensive, it's telling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I inherited about 5 million approximately eight years ago. It is now closer to 7. I’m 40.

I left my corporate job and now work at a nonprofit. I actually still make a decent salary (95k) but do not worry about money. I am a diehard WOHM and believe that every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations should work. I’m aware that I am lucky to work at a flexible job that pays decently and make you feel good about what I contribute to the world. That said I did not earn this money and would not quit to rely on it.

My husband and I bought a $1 million house in cash and have comfort in the fact that our retirement and children’s college funds are completely funded.

These two statements aren't entirely congruent. You believe that everyone should "work," but, well, if they happen to inherit a lot of money, then it's cool to give up something more remunerative and work a more modestly paying, presumably more rewarding or fun job.

If you're good with that, then why would it not be OK to SAH/volunteer/pursue even more-rewarding hobbies? Or are you just one of those people who thinks that the only correct path is exactly what you have chosen at this point in time, for now, and everyone else is wrong?

I mention that I am lucky to be able to pursue a job that pays less and is more flexible than what I had before. Not sure why you’re being so cruel when this is in fact about people have lost parents or people close to them. There’s a time and place. My believes are valid to me.

"My beliefs are valid to me" is nonsensical because your beliefs inherently involving hectoring / judging others than that disagree with you. My wife has a degree from Harvard, no major health issues or debilitating conditions. She's currently a SAHM. Apparently you find something wrong with that, but then when called on it (not by me, by other posters) then you call people cruel and say it's just about your own fulfillment. If so you should have written your original post differently.

Perfectly said. Sadly, that poster continues to be tone deaf.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I inherited about 5 million approximately eight years ago. It is now closer to 7. I’m 40.

I left my corporate job and now work at a nonprofit. I actually still make a decent salary (95k) but do not worry about money. I am a diehard WOHM and believe that every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations should work. I’m aware that I am lucky to work at a flexible job that pays decently and make you feel good about what I contribute to the world. That said I did not earn this money and would not quit to rely on it.

My husband and I bought a $1 million house in cash and have comfort in the fact that our retirement and children’s college funds are completely funded.

These two statements aren't entirely congruent. You believe that everyone should "work," but, well, if they happen to inherit a lot of money, then it's cool to give up something more remunerative and work a more modestly paying, presumably more rewarding or fun job.

If you're good with that, then why would it not be OK to SAH/volunteer/pursue even more-rewarding hobbies? Or are you just one of those people who thinks that the only correct path is exactly what you have chosen at this point in time, for now, and everyone else is wrong?

I mention that I am lucky to be able to pursue a job that pays less and is more flexible than what I had before. Not sure why you’re being so cruel when this is in fact about people have lost parents or people close to them. There’s a time and place. My believes are valid to me.

"My beliefs are valid to me" is nonsensical because your beliefs inherently involving hectoring / judging others than that disagree with you. My wife has a degree from Harvard, no major health issues or debilitating conditions. She's currently a SAHM. Apparently you find something wrong with that, but then when called on it (not by me, by other posters) then you call people cruel and say it's just about your own fulfillment. If so you should have written your original post differently.

NP. Exactly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I inherited about 5 million approximately eight years ago. It is now closer to 7. I’m 40.

I left my corporate job and now work at a nonprofit. I actually still make a decent salary (95k) but do not worry about money. I am a diehard WOHM and believe that every educated woman without major health issues and/or other debilitating situations should work. I’m aware that I am lucky to work at a flexible job that pays decently and make you feel good about what I contribute to the world. That said I did not earn this money and would not quit to rely on it.

My husband and I bought a $1 million house in cash and have comfort in the fact that our retirement and children’s college funds are completely funded.

These two statements aren't entirely congruent. You believe that everyone should "work," but, well, if they happen to inherit a lot of money, then it's cool to give up something more remunerative and work a more modestly paying, presumably more rewarding or fun job.

If you're good with that, then why would it not be OK to SAH/volunteer/pursue even more-rewarding hobbies? Or are you just one of those people who thinks that the only correct path is exactly what you have chosen at this point in time, for now, and everyone else is wrong?

I mention that I am lucky to be able to pursue a job that pays less and is more flexible than what I had before. Not sure why you’re being so cruel when this is in fact about people have lost parents or people close to them. There’s a time and place. My believes are valid to me.

"My beliefs are valid to me" is nonsensical because your beliefs inherently involving hectoring / judging others than that disagree with you. My wife has a degree from Harvard, no major health issues or debilitating conditions. She's currently a SAHM. Apparently you find something wrong with that, but then when called on it (not by me, by other posters) then you call people cruel and say it's just about your own fulfillment. If so you should have written your original post differently.