Anonymous wrote:Both you and your kids sound unhinged.

ditto.
you both sound very strange.

My mom refused to lie to her kids back in the 70s about Santa but Christmas was still magical. She talked about the wonderful "Spirit of Santa Claus and generosity." Once I was old enough, I could help keep the magic alive with my much younger brother and helped us have a lot of fun as a family being "Santa Claus" for families in our town who couldn't afford Christmas.

This letter that was posted a while back resonated with me - it doesn't have to be a black/ white 'does Santa exist' conversation. There is a lot of beautiful things about generosity, finding ways to bring joy that you can absolutely still incorporate into your holidays:

Dear Larlo,

Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”

I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I love you and I always will.

Mama

OP, my 10-year-old daughter found out exactly the same way—I left my laptop open after we bought a few things from amazon and she scrolled through past purchases. When she started crying and asking why I would have her Christmas presents on amazon, my initial reaction was to lie. Then I stopped and said,”You’re 10, I’m sorry, but there’s no Santa.” I was done. Done with the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and that stupid Elf on the Shelf. I felt an enormous relief. I was hoping that she’d just figure it out herself that’s there’s no Santa, but in spite of her friends telling her otherwise she still believed.
I sat with her and talked with her that first night and she quickly recovered. Now, if I could just figure out what to do with her younger brother....

Anonymous wrote:Title is Not Safe for Kids as Incase your DC is on your device like me nevwas....

So while Caps game was on my 9 yo starts sobbing uncontrollably.
Without me noticing ) he had hopped onto the iPad and tried to add an item to our Amzn cart.
Scrolls through our past purchases and see some items that were to have been from StNick.

He was crushed. Sobbing. Sniffling. It was kind of like a death.
My 11yo overheard (how could he not) and is very sad too - think she wanted it to be real so badly.

Such a crappy way to learn the truth. I am sad for them.

Can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.

I am sad. I feel like my sweet Polyana will forever be jaded.
He loves (loved?!) St Patty’s leprechaun and a friend’s fairy that was a family tradition.
Now it’s over and it’s a bummer.

Just a sleepless mom looking ton commiserate, but open to advice if you know how I can help make the sting less for my kid.

I had the same reaction during the Caps game. Different reason, I suspect.

I didn’t get past “jumped on my iPad”. My iPad is MY iPad. It locks after a couple minutes. But even if didn’t, you don’t touch my iPad (or phone) unless you ask I give you permission to on there for the limited purpose of ... playing a game while we wait for the doctor, for example. You respect people’s possessions and respect their privacy.

I’m sure if you leave an unlocked iPad lying around, your kid will all sorts of interesting things, once they start into your email and texts and browsing history. You were asking for this to happen. Be glad he didn’t find out what kind of porn mommy likes, or the less than flattering thing about him in an email from his teacher or the argument you had with your husband over texts. Come on. #BeBest.

I’m 35 and my mom still gives me presents from Santa lol.

It was more than time.

Eleven is just embarrassing to still believe in Santa and the others. I mean, can you imagine the ridicule that child would get from their peers if they said something?

Double-digit age = stop believing in the fantastical.

Anonymous wrote:I find it very sad that 3 and 4 year olds don't believe. I remember feeling bad for those kids when I still believed, haha. Joke was on me though lol.

As a Jewish person, please don't feel sorry for me. I always knew Santa was not real. And I always knew Christmas was for Christian people. When my DD was 3 or 4, she asked me if Santa was real when she found a book about him in the kids section of the library. I asked if when she dressed up as a bunny for halloween she was really a bunny or just a little girl dressing as a bunny for a holiday. She looked at me, nodded, and that was it. On our walk home I explained about us being Jewish and it not being our place to tell other people who believe in Santa. Never a problem.

Am I the only one who thought this was going to be the truth about sex?

I am into Santa too. It’s just the sweet innocence.
Check out this if you want to see you hinged
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/482/lights-camera-christmas

Anonymous wrote:Kids follow adults leads, OP. Shrug it off, and eventually he will too.

Exactly. Your kids are following your every lead. If they see you being melodramatic about something, they will act melodramatic about it too. Shrug this off - YOU are the role model for your kid. They are getting social cues from you.

Your kids are more than old enough to learn the truth. You will still have fun Christmases and they won't necessarily become jaded people unless you let it happen.

Anonymous wrote:Before I started reading DCUM, I had no idea there were so many adults deeply invested in Santa Claus.

I didn't know there can be kids who would read DCUM and believe in Santa.

Before I started reading DCUM, I had no idea there were so many adults deeply invested in Santa Claus.