Anonymous wrote:I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

Anonymous wrote:I think men who are in sexless marriages, that occur outside of having a menopausal wife, are too afraid to divorce their spouses. They are afraid of the stigma associated with being divorced, have self-esteem issues when it comes to dating, and the financial consequences of divorce. People are content with misery.

As far as the financial consequences are concerned, there are so many successful single women in DC, that it would be easy to pair with someone making just as much or more than you were in the marriage.
As my mom says, there are many marriages that would not survive without the help of a mistress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But it makes zero (no... negative!) sense for a man to ever tell this to a potential AP. Whether it's true or not is immaterial. If this is his internal rationalization, so be it. But.... why SAY it?There is NOTHING attractive about a man who says he never gets sex even with his wife. So why would a man EVER say that? Does.Not.Compute.

Because a woman's objection to having an extramarital affair much more likely to be some moral anxiety or just not wanting to have sex with someone who is currently having sex with someone else - rather than something you read off a sexual market value calculation chart on a PUA board. Men tell this to potential APs so they'll rationalize that the affair isn't *really* cheating.

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sexless marriage. DH has low testosterone and we have emotional intimacy issues. I am not menopausal. I imagine others have the same problems if the man says the marriage is sexless or the wife has low libido or health issues.

Anonymous wrote:
+1

Nailed it. APs are gullible.

Anonymous wrote:
But it makes zero (no... negative!) sense for a man to ever tell this to a potential AP. Whether it's true or not is immaterial. If this is his internal rationalization, so be it. But.... why SAY it?There is NOTHING attractive about a man who says he never gets sex even with his wife. So why would a man EVER say that? Does.Not.Compute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many men who have active sex lives with their spouses do cheat and it is highly unlikely they would tell another woman how active they are. Using having a sexless marriage as an excuse to cheat is a proven winner to get some sympathy. Saying you have sex three times a week isn't going to elicit a lot of sympathy.

I hear this "argument" a lot, for example this author was roundly criticized because surely her partners must be lying about their sexless marriages... just to get into her pants.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html

The whole premise behind this "argument" is that women offer sex out of sympathy to a man who is not getting any. Really? Does anybody believe that nonsese? Imagine if this were true.... wait until the RedPill brigade finds out! You can score just by not scoring!

I don't think that it's out of sympathy but it lets them rationalize something that they're inclined to do. We see this all the time in APs or other women talking about how their married partner is just staying together for the kids or the marriage is over, etc. So if they want to have an affair with a particular married guy they believe his crap about how his wife is terrible or they don't have sex, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many men who have active sex lives with their spouses do cheat and it is highly unlikely they would tell another woman how active they are. Using having a sexless marriage as an excuse to cheat is a proven winner to get some sympathy. Saying you have sex three times a week isn't going to elicit a lot of sympathy.

I hear this "argument" a lot, for example this author was roundly criticized because surely her partners must be lying about their sexless marriages... just to get into her pants.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html

The whole premise behind this "argument" is that women offer sex out of sympathy to a man who is not getting any. Really? Does anybody believe that nonsese? Imagine if this were true.... wait until the RedPill brigade finds out! You can score just by not scoring!

I don't think that it's out of sympathy but it lets them rationalize something that they're inclined to do. We see this all the time in APs or other women talking about how their married partner is just staying together for the kids or the marriage is over, etc. So if they want to have an affair with a particular married guy they believe his crap about how his wife is terrible or they don't have sex, etc.

But it makes zero (no... negative!) sense for a man to ever tell this to a potential AP. Whether it's true or not is immaterial. If this is his internal rationalization, so be it. But.... why SAY it?There is NOTHING attractive about a man who says he never gets sex even with his wife. So why would a man EVER say that? Does.Not.Compute.