After I met my DH, I stopped fantasizing about romance, other men etc. It was like I stopped looking and stopped judging people's looks and relationships. I only fantasize about winning the lottery now.

My children are out of the house, and I enjoy time with my husband more now than I did when the kids were at home. I hope you will find that this is true for you! The “Empty Nest” years can be fun!

I am single with no kids. Female. 42. I have the opposite problem - lonely at times, not enough going on, but also look at the lives of friends who are moms and think "damn that looks hard" so I get what you all are saying. Too bad there isn't some in between. I think the way everyone just focuses on their intermediate family has put more stress on moms (no support network) and perhaps made things lonelier for people like me (with my siblings and cousins spread across the country I don't see my nieces and nephews much).

I'm a single mom, taken for granted by pretty much everyone (family, my child, work, friends), and I live in a really busy crowded city. I think about just walking away from this bullshit everyday. I think of it so often, I have to talk myself out of it frequently, like at least once a week. Don't want to scar my middle schooler for life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was an Anne Tyler book called "Ladder of Years" in which a woman is on vacation with her husband and kids at Bethany Beach and then just walks off to start a new life. ... Finds an apartment and a secretary job in a small town.

It seems like a lot of people found a lot to like about the concept, but sorry, it seems utterly ridiculous to me.

I'm going to look at that book. My weird fantasy is to just leave, change my name, get a small apartment, and work in one of those small town diners in the south where the servers shout orders to the cooks and all the workers and customers seem to know each other. I have no idea why that of all things. I can't do it because I could never leave my child.

I think because that life is portrayed in a lot of entertainment as the 'ideal' time before life becomes stressful, hard, and complicated. You have no worries but getting your next paycheck (which lets face it - you can always find a job as a waitress and if its just you live anywhere with that single paycheck) and dating cute guys.

Like this -

I often fantasize about saying peace out to this hamster wheel life, but I would absolutely take my DH and my girls with me!! We talk about moving to the beach and managing vacation rentals to make ends meet. We could probably buy a place in cash if we sell our two homes here (one is a rental.)

I was hoping this thread was about fantasies.

Boring.

Maybe I'm crazy but after I'm away for more than 2 days I can't wait to get home regardless of the chaos at home. All I really need is two hours of quiet time a couple of times a week and I'm ok.

I have an older relative who actually did this, 30 or 40 years ago. Went on a short vacation by herself, but decided mid-vacation that she'd rather stay where she was, so she found a job and apartment and settled in. They couldn't afford long distance phone calls (or didn't want to make them), so the only communication was letters a few times a year. She ended up going home after a couple years. Not surprisingly, she and her husband divorced shortly after she returned.

Anonymous wrote:hah, I'm a husband (two working parent house) and I share equally in the family "lift" (and my wife has said that for the doubters), and I feel guilty for fantasizing at least monthly about getting away for just a few days... usually I fantasize about retreating to a remote cabin in the mountain, but sometimes I mix it up and dream of being at a condo overlooking the beach or a resort in the carribean. in the end I know after say 4 days I'd WANT my wife and kids there too, but a few days alone would be amazing

I think both parents should get the opportunity to take a few days away for them selves and a few days of alone adult time!

DH here. No, I have no interest in leaving my life behind. I have worked very hard for what I have created. Nice house, good career, smart, beautiful, and interesting wife with her own great career, smart kids with lots of personality, etc.

Anything I'm unhappy about, rather than trying to escape, I try to solve. My sex life is not always the greatest with my wife (great quality, but frequency waxes and wanes). Rather than finding an AP (and I have lots of great options as I travel frequently), I've worked out more, changed my haircut, tried to dress better, tried to help out around the house more, and tried to take my wife on more couples vacations to places like Miami and Spain. I've also told her how important it is to me.

I get the appeal of pure fantasy, knowing people would never act on it. I fantasize about some of the younger women who flirt with me at conferences. But not about leaving my family.

Yes. Every day?
Most of the time I fantasize about leaving for a few weeks. Not forever.

Anonymous wrote:I have a few times. I want to get out of this fast paced life in DC, never ending struggle of juggling FT job with 2 young kids. I want to go somewhere like a beach and earn just enough to support myself, not worry about the housing costs, the property taxes, saving for college tuition for 2, kids extracurricular fees are already adding up at this young age, kids college entrance stress, increasing traffic and increasing commute times, so much. I have a job in the government, so it seems even crazier to give it up to move abroad (Spain would be nice), but I realize it's just the stress talking when I fantasize about walking away. It usually lasts for less than an hour and doesn't come back for 3-6 months.

I'm just like you but after a few minutes of fantasizing I realize how much I'd miss my kids and my DH who cause most of my stress! Once I think about them I realize how lucky I really am.

I have a few times. I want to get out of this fast paced life in DC, never ending struggle of juggling FT job with 2 young kids. I want to go somewhere like a beach and earn just enough to support myself, not worry about the housing costs, the property taxes, saving for college tuition for 2, kids extracurricular fees are already adding up at this young age, kids college entrance stress, increasing traffic and increasing commute times, so much. I have a job in the government, so it seems even crazier to give it up to move abroad (Spain would be nice), but I realize it's just the stress talking when I fantasize about walking away. It usually lasts for less than an hour and doesn't come back for 3-6 months.

Yes, I have kids. Divorced and loving life.