Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welfare and food stamps on 72k? Who is fear mongering now.

OP is not a victim.

For a two-person household in coastal California (where OP lives) that does qualify for state aid. In DC if you have a household of four people and an income of $100,000! or less you can qualify for subsidized housing.

In other words, welfare and food stamps.

So wait with $72 k income op could get state aid? That’s way above the poverty line isn’t it? What would she qualify for?

It's not above the poverty line because of where she lives - the cost of living is too high. I don't know where on the coast but I'm betting its a major city with a father/sperm donor who makes 7-figures a year.

If she lives in Los Angeles the average one-bedroom apartment is $2,100. With utilities at $200/month, gas/car expenses at $300/month, daycare and food at $1,000 (I halved it bcs maybe she has family that helps), and things like diapers/formula/clothing/healthcare - $300/month she is looking at $3,600/month in expenditures easily. That's $43,600 just to live her life. No extras. No vacations. No Starbucks coffee. And keep in mind that 20% of her paycheck is taken for taxes and SS. She literally is underwater in Los Angeles at $65,000 if even one item is more expensive than what I just stated. That's also not including the medical bills for birth and delivery.

If she lives in San Francisco the average one-bedroom apartment is $3,500. You do the math.

If she lives in San Mateo the average one-bedroom apartment is $2,600. Again.

If San Mateo is the median average for finding a one-bedroom place to live on the coast in CA, then she's flat out of luck supporting herself AND a child -



This was four years ago. Four years ago a $80,000 income wasn't enough for a one-bedroom rental.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welfare and food stamps on 72k? Who is fear mongering now.

OP is not a victim.

For a two-person household in coastal California (where OP lives) that does qualify for state aid. In DC if you have a household of four people and an income of $100,000! or less you can qualify for subsidized housing.

In other words, welfare and food stamps.

So wait with $72 k income op could get state aid? That’s way above the poverty line isn’t it? What would she qualify for?

Anonymous wrote:Welfare and food stamps on 72k? Who is fear mongering now.

OP is not a victim.

For a two-person household in coastal California (where OP lives) that does qualify for state aid. In DC if you have a household of four people and an income of $100,000! or less you can qualify for subsidized housing.

In other words, welfare and food stamps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.

What does his income level matter in a child support case when its clear he's never co-habitated with the mother, the child isn't used to a 'certain level' of QOL because it never lived with his father, and the mother has no legal ties to the father?

Would child support really be calculated for the full breadth of his income level for a 'casual' sexual relationship?

Welfare and food stamps on 72k? Who is fear mongering now.

OP is not a victim.

That was in regard to your student loans, high COL area at 72k salary. I would deny it until I had proof too. I believe in mandatory paternity tests. You chose his father by the way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.

op here. a good lawyer might advise this. but I highly doubt hell want to take custody.

Yes, highly doubt it. Stop with the fear mongering and encouraging this woman and her child to live in poverty.

I agree, wouldn't you people rather have a rich man PAY FOR HIS OWN CHILD. then have this mother possibly go on welfare and food stamps? (I believe in welfare/food stamps but only for those who really need it. she said her salary is 70 k, but having a child is expensive).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

You should have thought this through before you were 6 months. Poor kid.

excuse me? I DID. I decided to keep this child because I want it. he may have an asshole dad, but my son will never miss having a mom.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

You should have thought this through before you were 6 months. Poor kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.

op here. a good lawyer might advise this. but I highly doubt hell want to take custody.

Yes, highly doubt it. Stop with the fear mongering and encouraging this woman and her child to live in poverty.

Anonymous wrote:I thought that if a man gave up all parental rights that he didn't have to pay child support? I mean this guy had nothing to do with keeping the baby or choosing to raise it (versus adoption).

No.

my ex husband and I have joint custody and he pays me child support for out two children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.

op here. a good lawyer might advise this. but I highly doubt hell want to take custody.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.

At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone isn't showing any inclination to be in your child's life, maybe it's best to let that be.

No. The child is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The child should not suffer because his father is an ass.

+1. Hold him accountable, just as you are accountable.
It is ridiculous that women get stuck with full responsibility- it needs to end. Men need to at least pay their part, even if they ignore any parenting responsibility.

But the man didn't get to decide to keep the child or put it up for adoption. I do believe that unwilling dads should not have to pay

There is no such thing as an unwilling dad unless the man was raped. When you engage in sexual activity with a woman of childbearing years, you know exactly what you’re risking and you assume that risk gladly in return for the pleasure of sex. Having enjoyed the sex, it makes you nothing more than a lazy minded, irresponsible buffoon to then refuse the responsibility that you knowingly undertook.