Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:27     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Well for me this thread has been instructive in learning that there are a lot of us out there! As one more mom who had an IVF baby I imagine people do wonder. And I'll be the first to admit it was not my first choice. But I look around and I really think the rule of thirds applies. A third of people are "really" happy in life, a third are doing OK and a third are unhappy. And this seems to be true regardless of marital status. Sure some people are very happily married so I am by no means knocking marriage but I also see people in loveless marriages, people who married someone they didn't love because they wanted children, people married to addicts, people who are addicts themselves etc etc etc. And yes, plenty of single people also have similar problems. But it's not us against you!
This whole discussion reminds me of the discussions that often surround divorce. Married people want to believe there was a reason because they don't want to think that s..t just happens.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:24     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Be honest, since we’re anon. Would you assume a woman who used IVF to have a DB at 40 and had no long-term relationship in the 5 years prior was single for a reason, or just unlucky? Are “most” never-married women between 35-50 “single for a reason”?


I would think, "Wow, she must be pretty smart and successful to be able to afford IVF and treatments (not to mention raising the kid) all on her own."

I would also wonder why she waited til 40, which gives her bery low odds. She should have done it at 36 or even 38. So I guess I would consider her a bit uninformed or naive.

But beyond that no judgments!

I would think you are not smart for thinking one must be smart to afford ivf
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:21     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:Be honest, since we’re anon. Would you assume a woman who used IVF to have a DB at 40 and had no long-term relationship in the 5 years prior was single for a reason, or just unlucky? Are “most” never-married women between 35-50 “single for a reason”?


I would think, "Wow, she must be pretty smart and successful to be able to afford IVF and treatments (not to mention raising the kid) all on her own."

I would also wonder why she waited til 40, which gives her bery low odds. She should have done it at 36 or even 38. So I guess I would consider her a bit uninformed or naive.

But beyond that no judgments!
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:16     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:This is a weird thread. Lots of hostility to women who take on solo parenthood.


Yep, i am used to it.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:16     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:This is a weird thread. Lots of hostility to women who take on solo parenthood.


That's weird if my chose
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:16     Subject: Re:“I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote: I would think that there was either the one that got away, they let some guy waste their time for years, or weren’t serious about settling down and looked up and found most of the guys they would want to date are married. I think women have an easier time dating maybe 16-30 and then it’s a real crapshoot.


Yeah, if you want to be 'settling down' at 16..

Dating is dating, and marriage is marriage; these two processes aren't necessarily correlated. Well, in the ideal world they should be, but we all know how things go. Anecdotally, the two hottest girls from my HS class are not married at 43 (one is divorced, another one never married), while the more 'homely'-looking ones have teenaged children. Go figure, right?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:16     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who are all you people trashing single women? Why do you care?




Seriously! One woman I know is single because she doesn't want to be married. She has a long term partner, her own home to herself, and she keeps her personal life private. I guess you all would call her a loser, but I think she's living a great life.


That woman is not single, per the title of this thread (which is not about the distinction between married and partnered up).
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:15     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:Mental disease 99% of the time


Not!
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:13     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
This is a weird thread. Lots of hostility to women who take on solo parenthood.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:13     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:Who are all you people trashing single women? Why do you care?




Seriously! One woman I know is single because she doesn't want to be married. She has a long term partner, her own home to herself, and she keeps her personal life private. I guess you all would call her a loser, but I think she's living a great life.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 20:10     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:Of course there’s a reason. Everyone finds themselves in a situation for a reason.

What I think you are implying is there’s a defect with her to make her single.

As a woman in that scenario, I’m guessing most people who don’t know me think I’m unstable in some manner or a closeted lesbian.

People who know me would know that I’ve had two long term relationships. The first I ended bc we started dating in college and had a great time together, but he eventually confessed he never wanted kids. Second long term relationship wound up with a guy who was living a double life on different end of I270. Found out when the other woman contacted me.

So, I was heartbroken, 36, financially secure and had zero desire to date, but wanted children. At 38 I had a child through ivf.

I honestly don’t care what people think. I love my life. This whole experience has forced me to be very honest with myself and introspective. I grieved the dream of the family I didn’t have. I did not take the decision of having a child by myself lightly.


Wow. I admire you, PP!

I don't think I could become a single mother through IVF, regardless of the size of my bank account. Wouldn't want to take on such a huge responsibility all by myself. Just being honest here.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 19:53     Subject: Re:“I get why she’s single” : T/F?
I would think that there was either the one that got away, they let some guy waste their time for years, or weren’t serious about settling down and looked up and found most of the guys they would want to date are married. I think women have an easier time dating maybe 16-30 and then it’s a real crapshoot.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 19:49     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A woman who is fertile and unmarried and over 30 is a man repellant.


I'll let Amal Clooney and Meghan Windsor know what you think of them the next time we chat.


Look what type of guy it took to make them agree to marry. They didn't need a man, they needed a superman


Precisely. There's nothing wrong with having standards. Personally I'd rather have either of these than a middle of the road schlump. The fact that both of them were rich single women is just icing on the cake. I'm willing to bet Meghan's going to be preggers next year (at 37!) and I'm hoping for twins.





Of course she'll be pregnant...even if It's fake and she uses a surrogate. That is literally going to be her job...produce an heir. Feminist everywhere rejoice


Wow, someone's jealous.

Just for reference - there's already five direct heirs to the throne and none of them will be sourced from Meghan.

Those being:

Prince Charles
Prince William
Prince George
Princess Charlotte
Prince Louis

Which means Meggie can have as many beautiful babies with her hot royal ginger as she likes - zero pressure. As for her job, I'm thinking she'll keep on being a humanitarian like quite a few 'feminists' you could learn something from.

Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 19:42     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Wow, this really is a hurtful thread, especially on this particular day.

I’m not naive to what others think, but...ouch.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2018 19:41     Subject: “I get why she’s single” : T/F?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A woman who is fertile and unmarried and over 30 is a man repellant.


I'll let Amal Clooney and Meghan Windsor know what you think of them the next time we chat.


Look what type of guy it took to make them agree to marry. They didn't need a man, they needed a superman


Precisely. There's nothing wrong with having standards. Personally I'd rather have either of these than a middle of the road schlump. The fact that both of them were rich single women is just icing on the cake. I'm willing to bet Meghan's going to be preggers next year (at 37!) and I'm hoping for twins.





Of course she'll be pregnant...even if It's fake and she uses a surrogate. That is literally going to be her job...produce an heir. Feminist everywhere rejoice