cba
Post 05/12/2018 21:24     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:I've had plenty of opportunities, never did it and I have no regrets. You, OP, are a loser!


with all due respect, your opinion as to whether or not i am a loser or a winner is irrelevant given how little you know about me. I'm sure your SO is overwhelmed by your compassion and understanding. Nonetheless, thank you for answering my question.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2018 13:52     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
I've had plenty of opportunities, never did it and I have no regrets. You, OP, are a loser!
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2018 13:49     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
Congratulations on getting my vote for mother of the year!
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2018 13:36     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems many people who have affairs feel regret and self loathing afterwards, but cant see that or realize it when they are in the fog.


Many, perhaps, but not most IMO. If done right, and no one get's caught, it's just another chapter in life.


Affairs are not ever something “done right.” You may choose to do it, but everything about it is wrong
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2018 12:44     Subject: A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
cba wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many STD’s have you had?


none


It's so funny to always hear people talking about STDs in an affair, as if that's such a high risk. The reality is, you are at much higher risk having sex with your average single person with an active sex life, than your average cheating married person.


You don't expect monogamy from a sexually active single person, but in marriage there is an expectation of monogamy. Statistically, the risk of STDs is higher in non-monogamous relationships with unprotected sex.


Way to completely ignore what I wrote. Yes, no doubt, the risk is nearly zero for truly monogamous couples and it's higher among those who practice unprotected sex. So thanks, Captain Obvious. Again, what has that got to do with what I wrote?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 21:37     Subject: A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:
cba wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many STD’s have you had?


none


It's so funny to always hear people talking about STDs in an affair, as if that's such a high risk. The reality is, you are at much higher risk having sex with your average single person with an active sex life, than your average cheating married person.


You don't expect monogamy from a sexually active single person, but in marriage there is an expectation of monogamy. Statistically, the risk of STDs is higher in non-monogamous relationships with unprotected sex.
cba
Post 05/11/2018 18:28     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems many people who have affairs feel regret and self loathing afterwards, but cant see that or realize it when they are in the fog.


Many, perhaps, but not most IMO. If done right, and no one get's caught, it's just another chapter in life.


I wonder what the exact percentages are...
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2018 23:53     Subject: A question about affairs
cba wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many STD’s have you had?


none


It's so funny to always hear people talking about STDs in an affair, as if that's such a high risk. The reality is, you are at much higher risk having sex with your average single person with an active sex life, than your average cheating married person.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2018 23:51     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:It seems many people who have affairs feel regret and self loathing afterwards, but cant see that or realize it when they are in the fog.


Many, perhaps, but not most IMO. If done right, and no one get's caught, it's just another chapter in life.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2018 07:32     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
Anonymous wrote:
cba wrote:to all of the non-judgmental responses - thank you.

and to those who did judge - when your marriage goes through tough times i hope you make better choices than i did


Uh, yeah. My marriage went thru some super-tough times, and I managed not to cheat. It's not that hard. I have kids. I didn't want to take a financial hit. I had a sexless marriage, and I still didn't cheat. Instead, I was honest about what I needed in the marriage and after 2.5 years of trying to work it out unsuccessfully, I ended it with dignity. Was it hard to divorce? Sure. But a whole heck of a lot easier than trying to resolve my problems by lying and cheating and losing my own self-respect.

You cheaters always think that your problem is worse than anyone else's, that it's so painful you are justified in doing anything to relieve that pain. It's lame and narcissistic.

Cheating is no worse than being the rejecting partner in a sexless marriage. For the same reasons sexless people choose to remain married to somebody they reject sex with, a normal libido partner might want to stay married (like you said: kids, finances) while meeting his/her normal sexual needs outside the marriage. Your judgement is just unwarranted.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2018 23:27     Subject: Re:A question about affairs
cba wrote:to all of the non-judgmental responses - thank you.

and to those who did judge - when your marriage goes through tough times i hope you make better choices than i did


Uh, yeah. My marriage went thru some super-tough times, and I managed not to cheat. It's not that hard. I have kids. I didn't want to take a financial hit. I had a sexless marriage, and I still didn't cheat. Instead, I was honest about what I needed in the marriage and after 2.5 years of trying to work it out unsuccessfully, I ended it with dignity. Was it hard to divorce? Sure. But a whole heck of a lot easier than trying to resolve my problems by lying and cheating and losing my own self-respect.

You cheaters always think that your problem is worse than anyone else's, that it's so painful you are justified in doing anything to relieve that pain. It's lame and narcissistic.