Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, I'm what most people would call a "goth" and I think this is crazy! I have worn all black since I was 14 (43 now), except for my wedding gown, which was black/white. I would RSVP no. That is insane! I got married in a cemetery for Fs sake, and still think this "black on black" wedding thing is stupid and crazy.

Wow. Can you do an AMA? You sound interesting!!

haha! What would you want to ask me? I did have a pretty interesting life back in the day, but now I'm just a boring old homebody mother/wife with 2 young kids. LOL, I did just recently buy a new shirt that has a small white design on the front, and when I woke my kids up for school my 3 year old got freaked out and exclaimed, "Mommy, what happened?! Why are you wearing that shirt? Who gave it to you?! What happened?!" He was freaked out because he had never seen me wear anything but all black. My mother was NOT happy about my wedding location choice, in case you were wondering. And the only reason I wore a black/white dress instead of all back is because she cried and begged me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a European thing? Although I've been to 2 weddings overseas and haven't seen men dressed like that.

I have been to multiple weddings in Europe and none of them featured a deranged dress code like this. The ones I attended were basically garden party attire for the morning church wedding and luncheon, and then black tie for the evening soiree. This wasn't spelled out in the invitation because it is the norm for this particular country/social class.

+1

Destination weddings have got to stop. It is different if the bride and groom are actually from/grew up in/reside in that area! Ridiculous to expect this of your guests. Politely decline, OP.

Anonymous wrote:I've seen black on black used (incorrectly, IMO) to mean formal attire. No men showing up with a navy sportcoat and khaki Dockers. Or black dress pants with just a dress shirt and no jacket.

The one I went to requested all females in black dresses and all males in black suits/tuxes. Color was prohibited for guests, so no fun colorful ties, bowties, or shoes. White dress shirts were fine, but there were several guys who took the black on black to mean black suit & black shirt.

Seriously? Like it said that on the invitation? On what planet ...?

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, I'm what most people would call a "goth" and I think this is crazy! I have worn all black since I was 14 (43 now), except for my wedding gown, which was black/white. I would RSVP no. That is insane! I got married in a cemetery for Fs sake, and still think this "black on black" wedding thing is stupid and crazy.

Wow. Can you do an AMA? You sound interesting!!

Anonymous wrote:Is this a European thing? Although I've been to 2 weddings overseas and haven't seen men dressed like that.

I have been to multiple weddings in Europe and none of them featured a deranged dress code like this. The ones I attended were basically garden party attire for the morning church wedding and luncheon, and then black tie for the evening soiree. This wasn't spelled out in the invitation because it is the norm for this particular country/social class.

I suggest this for the dress:

https://www.amazon.com/Elvira-Mistress-Heritage-Collection-Costume/dp/B007Q9160Q

And this look for your husband:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/620019073674301608/

While we're at it, let's just acknowledge this that most women, unlike convention would have us believe, do not look their best in black. Especially black directly next to their faces and necks. In fact, it only works for a minority of women.

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell owns a black dress shirt? That cannot possibly be what it means.

My kid owns one for concert choir.

OP, why can't you just tell her you don't do costumes?

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Anonymous wrote:RSVP no. People are so rude.

You have no idea. This is also a destination wedding and airfare is $1000+. So we’re expected to schlep a tux through Europe?

Please tell me that this is the wedding of a sibling, or someone who donated a kidney to you, because I can’t underwhy you would bother for anyone else.

OP here, yes sibling. I've already committed to the airfare for my family, so I'm going.

Oh then ask your sibling or parents what the black on black means! DCUM is curious

The sibling is my brother and he's pretty clueless, so I asked the bride. She said tux and then send this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LBbdmE0ITY

i imagine this is like how the guys from Jersey Shore would do "formal."

Hahahaha. You should have your DH push up his sleeves like the guy in the video. This is clearly for teens going to prom. And Chandler, AZ, that’s my hometown. Not exactly the hotbed of fashion (motto: we’re almost as good as Scottsdale)

It means: men wear a black shirt (with your black tie or suit). Women wear all black. Women do not wear mostly black. No other color as part of the outfit.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of anyone dictating what wedding guests wear. I think it’s generally considered polite to dress according to how formal the event is.

Are they getting married in some medieval castle in Romania or something?

Castle/vineyard outside of Rome. It will be a beautiful setting, I'm sure.

I’ve never heard of anyone dictating what wedding guests wear. I think it’s generally considered polite to dress according to how formal the event is.

Are they getting married in some medieval castle in Romania or something?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:RSVP no. People are so rude.

You have no idea. This is also a destination wedding and airfare is $1000+. So we’re expected to schlep a tux through Europe?

Please tell me that this is the wedding of a sibling, or someone who donated a kidney to you, because I can’t underwhy you would bother for anyone else.

This!

I don’t think the dresses have to be black from what op wrote. Just black on black suits.