Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just decline without anger. I got bullied into having kids at my wedding and it was a huge pain and really took over wedding. I think many of the families of kids want the wedding to be a chance to show their kids off etc but it is not their day. Totally get the decline but don’t be snippy seems like it doesn’t work for both sides and that is okay.

"Not their day"? You are one of those "it's my special day" types?

Not me. Our wedding was the joining of two families. No, we had not been married before, and no, we didn't have kids. But we realized that our families would be joined through us, and we wanted to celebrate that.

You're an idiot. People can have different preferences. Both are fine, and at the discretion of the bride and groom.

+1

You can either accept or decline. It's not up to you to decide what is right/appropriate for them. If it's too "tacky" for you, then by all means, send a gift and stay at home. With an attitude like yours, do them a favor and stay away.

They owe nothing--nothing--to anyone else on their special day. They could get married in an igloo or a hot air balloon, with no guests. They could have 500+ guests, including children, to a literal circus. They could have 50 guests in a backyard. They can do whatever they want. It's about them. It's not up to you. Go or don't go.

Get a sitter, send one parent, or politely decline. There. Easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just decline without anger. I got bullied into having kids at my wedding and it was a huge pain and really took over wedding. I think many of the families of kids want the wedding to be a chance to show their kids off etc but it is not their day. Totally get the decline but don’t be snippy seems like it doesn’t work for both sides and that is okay.

"Not their day"? You are one of those "it's my special day" types?

Not me. Our wedding was the joining of two families. No, we had not been married before, and no, we didn't have kids. But we realized that our families would be joined through us, and we wanted to celebrate that.

You're an idiot. People can have different preferences. Both are fine, and at the discretion of the bride and groom.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

Option 1: keep them at home with you, because nobody from your family is going to to the wedding.
Option 2: your partner stays home with the children (or stays at the hotel with the children), you go to the wedding.
Option 3: someone at home keeps the children while you and your partner both go to the wedding.
Option 4: you find a babysitter at the wedding location.

Bride and groom are allowed to decide if they want to include kids or not, and guests are allowed to decide if they want to attend or not - nothing tacky on either side. I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my kids with a babysitter we didn't know in a hotel either, so I'd stay home or just send one adult to the wedding.

Anonymous wrote:Just decline without anger. I got bullied into having kids at my wedding and it was a huge pain and really took over wedding. I think many of the families of kids want the wedding to be a chance to show their kids off etc but it is not their day. Totally get the decline but don’t be snippy seems like it doesn’t work for both sides and that is okay.

"Not their day"? You are one of those "it's my special day" types?

Not me. Our wedding was the joining of two families. No, we had not been married before, and no, we didn't have kids. But we realized that our families would be joined through us, and we wanted to celebrate that.

Just decline without anger. I got bullied into having kids at my wedding and it was a huge pain and really took over wedding. I think many of the families of kids want the wedding to be a chance to show their kids off etc but it is not their day. Totally get the decline but don’t be snippy seems like it doesn’t work for both sides and that is okay.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is marrying her long time boyfriend. They have two kids (almost 2&5) yet they’ve told all guests no children allowed at wedding or reception. I find this tacky regardless, but especially considering the fact they have children and have been cohabitating for 6+ years.

90% is the family members on both sides are traveling and many of us have children. What the hell do we do with our kids?

Pool together and hire babysitters. It's their wedding and it's not that hard to hire a babysitter. Use the bambino app or ask them for help finding babysitters.

Having a no kids wedding isn't tacky, neither is it tacky to only have a few kids you know/want at the wedding there. That said, it's a lot for parents to travel with kids, and I personally would be reluctant to leave my kids with a stranger in a strange place, and would decline if other arrangements couldn't be made.

No one here is in the wrong. Sometimes thing just don't work out to everyone's desire, and that's okay.

My cousin had a no kids wedding when my DS was 5 months old. We wouldn't leave him, and we stayed home. NBD, and 17 years later cousin and I are still friends...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

At a hotel? No. Op says a lot of people have to travel.

Yes. Ask people who live locally for recommended baby sitters. Why people think their are entitled to bring kids to their weddings is beyond me. It's bizarre - people leave their kids with baby sitters all the time but for an event like a wedding that just CANT be away from them for four or five hours?

Sounds like many of the guests have kids. You obviously don’t have kids. They are part of the family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

At a hotel? No. Op says a lot of people have to travel.

Yes. Ask people who live locally for recommended baby sitters. Why people think their are entitled to bring kids to their weddings is beyond me. It's bizarre - people leave their kids with baby sitters all the time but for an event like a wedding that just CANT be away from them for four or five hours?

It’s not one event and it’s not just the babysitter. It’s paying for plane tickets for my kids, finding and hiring a nanny for the welcome party and ceremony/ reception- usually kids are invited to the brunch the following day. It’s dragging my kids to another city to just hang out at a hotel.

Their wedding, their choice. Your kids, your choice.

+1. It’s spending thousands to spend a weekend mostly away from your kids. A babysitter at a hotel is typically $25 plus an hour. Not to mention plan tickets for your kids for an event they can’t attend.

I actually understand why they don’t want kids at the wedding but they also need to understand why people may decline to attend.

This. I am not leaving my kids with a sitter I don't know. I would just decline.

If you have to travel, I would just decline. I have no problem hiring babysitters and do all of the time, but I wouldn't leave my kid with a random person.

My cousin (mid 20s) had this at his wedding. He’s the youngest cousin so most everyone else is older with kids - it was a huge issue within the family as it was an out of town wedding where no one lived to have a baby sitter. If it was in town I would just get a babysitter and be done but much more complicated when it’s in a random city.