Anonymous wrote:Op, You do not want to allow an environment where she is more of an outliner. Do not home school. That makes it even harder to find friends, feel connected, be happy. I was the one who suggested Youth for Understanding because, even though it's a drastically different environment, it offers her a community. Do not home school. Do not remove her from her peers. That is very unhealthy. If she remains at TJ/ or base school, I would concentrate on getting her invested in something other than academics -- sports team, drama, some type of group activity, and in order to make the transition, let this be a primary focus for her instead of academics, at least until she finds a peer community she cares about.

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to wrap my head around how to respond to this. My kid is a sophomore at TJ. And she's not loved it this year. In fact, she's pretty much hates everything about school. She's keeping up with the work, but she is open that she's burned out, she's done trying to make school work, and she wants to take a break, focus on her mental health, and regroup before going to college.

She proposed leaving school at the end of this year. When I started talking about returning to the base school, she was like, uh, no. I want to get my GED and do a gap year and then apply to college.

She's serious about this. So much so she's taken the SAT in March and clocked a 1510. I am trying to figure out whether i should support this or whether this is a crazy idea that is going to prevent her from going to college.

Anonymous wrote:At student exchange program? Would she want to go international?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your kid sounds smart, well thought out with a flair for some emotional drama. If you try to fit a smart kid into a normal bucket and measure them against regular standards, they will suffer. Most suffer in silence. Your child is at least bringing this to your attention.

None of us on the board can make an accurate assessment of your child though many PP's have suggested good questions. That's your responsibility as a parent.

This can't be the first time your child has mentioned their dissatisfaction with school. What did you say those other times? Did you formulate a plan with your spouse on how to address this? It sounds as if you and your spouse did not come up with a plan so your smart child came up with a plan on their own.

Help your child think through the consequences and if you and your spouse are ill equipped to come up with a plan, brainstorm a solution with your child and see if there is something that you all can agree on.

Honestly, a lot of these issues were a slow burn. Year one was difficult, but we attributed to adjusting and she always agreed with this. Year two was more of the same and I think something just snapped over Christmas break and she just pulled back. We started therapy during year one of TJ and honestly thought she was getting tools to manage the stress.

I think there's a lot of thinking to do. I definitely think we all need to get some research in place. When I had a call with the guidance counselor, I didn't get nearly as much in terms of ideas (her response: well, leave TJ, then and go back to the base or just get the GED. It's really your call). I appreciate everyone giving me some ideas to think through.

And yes, DD has a flair for drama and has struggled in structured environments. Oddly, she'd probably be a better fit for HB Woodlawn than TJ in hindsight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Just wondering how the child appeared for the SAT?. Did she register for the test on her own, drove to the test site, prepared for the test etc.. all without your help or knowledge all along??

Or is it the case that you were OK with the plan for some time and now second guessing yourself and seeking help on this forum to validate your plan?

OP here. Honestly, she did the entire thing on her own. Walked to the base high school and took the test. Apparently, she did a few sample tests, realized she could handle this on her own and used her own money to sign up for the test. I wasn't even in the loop until she sat me down with this crazy idea.

The issue is definitely burn out. She's tired and I completely get it. She's in therapy to manage this and over the course of this year basically pulled out of school completely. She goes to school, studies tons, and then basically spaces out watching E! or reading for fun/writing in her journal. She has some friends but doesn't feel a strong connection to anyone. She's close to her siblings (one older and one younger).

She just kept saying that she's can't imagine another two years of high school and doesn't see the point. She hates the rigidity, she wants the flexibility to learn at her own pace and learn "out in the world instead of yet another concrete classroom."

I have been researching a lot of the online options. One thing I am running into is trying to take TJ's weird courses and have them apply to other school's requirements. It's going to take a bit of doing. I am also looking into the year abroad option. I am hoping to find something that isn't DD getting a GED and working retail for a year while she's applying to colleges.

Anonymous wrote:OP, your kid sounds smart, well thought out with a flair for some emotional drama. If you try to fit a smart kid into a normal bucket and measure them against regular standards, they will suffer. Most suffer in silence. Your child is at least bringing this to your attention.

None of us on the board can make an accurate assessment of your child though many PP's have suggested good questions. That's your responsibility as a parent.

This can't be the first time your child has mentioned their dissatisfaction with school. What did you say those other times? Did you formulate a plan with your spouse on how to address this? It sounds as if you and your spouse did not come up with a plan so your smart child came up with a plan on their own.

Help your child think through the consequences and if you and your spouse are ill equipped to come up with a plan, brainstorm a solution with your child and see if there is something that you all can agree on.