Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The scale of your betrayal of your wife is monumental--probably beyond what you have the capacity to contemplate with your head wedged that far up your behind.

But all of this because you "can't be that divorced family"? Weak tea, OP. Get divorced. Live with some integrity.

I have more integrity that many many others out there and see if in my job every single day. I am staying honorable to being married, a promise I made and keeping my child from being shuttled between homes and parents that don't get along. That is the definition of integrity.

Nurturing and seeking out a relationship with this woman outside your marriage is the definition of cheating, lying, and a lack of integrity. You're a piece of sh*t.

But more likely, just a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The scale of your betrayal of your wife is monumental--probably beyond what you have the capacity to contemplate with your head wedged that far up your behind.

But all of this because you "can't be that divorced family"? Weak tea, OP. Get divorced. Live with some integrity.

I have more integrity that many many others out there and see if in my job every single day.

What kind of job is this? Are you a lawyer for white-collar criminals or something?

You're not "staying honorable to being married" in any way other than the external appearance. You know your wife would call bullshit on this if she knew about it--so you keep it from her. How would you feel if your child ended up married to someone like you?

Anonymous wrote:I refuse to believe that OP is not a troll. He is just too ridiculous to be real.

Have you been out in the real word buddy? This is it.

Anonymous wrote:Did it every occur to you that your intimacy with your wife suffered because you never really wanted to marry her? Because you wished she was someone else on your wedding day? Maybe you've never told her about your feelings for this person, but it's pretty clear that you never really loved your wife. So you keep telling yourself that you have "technically" cheated, and you keep blaming your wife for your unhappiness, and you keep telling yourself that there is anything noble about the way you have chosen to live your life. Noble would be cutting off your relationship with the other woman. You want to have your cake and eat it, too.

Op isn't eating any cake LOL. He isn't getting any at home and isn't from his 'one' either. He saw her 15 years ago, then just 2 years ago. I'm guessing 15 years ago was some sort of class reunion, so that's not really seeing her. Then he tried to hook up with her when she was in town for business and that didn't work out because of his morals. I don't agree with the relationship that is happening, but I do give him props for thinking about his kid and not creating another divorced/broken family situation. I'm divorced and it's a nightmare for my kids. Bringing stuff back and forth, waking up for school and the shirt they wanted to wear is at their other parents house. Asking "where am I this weekend". Kids have it tough and he's trying to at least protect his kid.

Did it every occur to you that your intimacy with your wife suffered because you never really wanted to marry her? Because you wished she was someone else on your wedding day? Maybe you've never told her about your feelings for this person, but it's pretty clear that you never really loved your wife. So you keep telling yourself that you have "technically" cheated, and you keep blaming your wife for your unhappiness, and you keep telling yourself that there is anything noble about the way you have chosen to live your life. Noble would be cutting off your relationship with the other woman. You want to have your cake and eat it, too.

I refuse to believe that OP is not a troll. He is just too ridiculous to be real.

Anonymous wrote:The scale of your betrayal of your wife is monumental--probably beyond what you have the capacity to contemplate with your head wedged that far up your behind.

But all of this because you "can't be that divorced family"? Weak tea, OP. Get divorced. Live with some integrity.

I have more integrity that many many others out there and see if in my job every single day. I am staying honorable to being married, a promise I made and keeping my child from being shuttled between homes and parents that don't get along. That is the definition of integrity.

I guarantee this friend knows how you feel about her. And I guarantee that she is just not into you like that.
It's only in the movies where the person is oblivious to a decades-long crush. In real life, people are not that oblivious. If you have anything like a real relationship/friendship, she knows. Best case is that she thinks it's awkward and hope you never wreck the friendship by revealing it. Worst case is that she knows and has been using you all these years as sort of an emotional prop for herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP make up your mind. Did you regret marrying your wife from the first day or after you stopped being intimate?

You are either totally detached from reality or a troll.

I regret marrying her. It became even harder to deal with when my wife physically (and emotionally) left the marriage the day she told me that she (not we) was pregnant. It was like a switch had been flipped. And to the other poster, if she cheats, then she cheats. I don't know if I would get divorced. If she considered me cheating I am 99% sure she would not leave, she has told me this is so many words. She has told me that marrying me has "set her up for life".

So what's wrong with you that you wouldn't divorce a woman like this?

I do not believe in divorce when there is a young child that needs a home with a mother and father.

The scale of your betrayal of your wife is monumental--probably beyond what you have the capacity to contemplate with your head wedged that far up your behind.

But all of this because you "can't be that divorced family"? Weak tea, OP. Get divorced. Live with some integrity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP make up your mind. Did you regret marrying your wife from the first day or after you stopped being intimate?

You are either totally detached from reality or a troll.

I regret marrying her. It became even harder to deal with when my wife physically (and emotionally) left the marriage the day she told me that she (not we) was pregnant. It was like a switch had been flipped. And to the other poster, if she cheats, then she cheats. I don't know if I would get divorced. If she considered me cheating I am 99% sure she would not leave, she has told me this is so many words. She has told me that marrying me has "set her up for life".

So what's wrong with you that you wouldn't divorce a woman like this?

OP, are you a sparkly vampire by any chance?

Anonymous wrote:OP make up your mind. Did you regret marrying your wife from the first day or after you stopped being intimate?

You are either totally detached from reality or a troll.

I regret marrying her. It became even harder to deal with when my wife physically (and emotionally) left the marriage the day she told me that she (not we) was pregnant. It was like a switch had been flipped. And to the other poster, if she cheats, then she cheats. I don't know if I would get divorced. If she considered me cheating I am 99% sure she would not leave, she has told me this is so many words. She has told me that marrying me has "set her up for life".

Time to divorce. You are that guy, it's just time you owned it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I believe you. But I don't understand why you never tried anything especially when you were still in school together.

I was that very shy guy. I never had the guts to tell her how I felt. She had boyfriends off and on. We did stuff together with groups of friends and I was glued to her. I was waiting for her to pick up on my cues. She had summer jobs between college semester and I got jobs at the same places to be near her. We were best friends at one point. And trust me. I kick myself every single day for not speaking up back then.