Anonymous wrote:My arm is ok. Just badly bruised. He is remorseful. We are in therapy. One day at a time.

Thanks for the update OP. Sending you peace.

Anonymous wrote:Back in my home country, this kid wouldn’t have a chance to do anything like that. Its not fear, it’s respect. I am 40 and I still dont smoke in front of my parents.

Not helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son became violent toward me last year. Not nearly so bad as your situation but it was a huge behavioral change. I took him to the ER. He was admitted to a treatment program. It was one of the best things I did for him.

This. Do this.

Third. Our son was treated for depression and anxiety for two years, but the violence came on pretty suddenly (he's 14 now). We did call the police, they took him to the ER, he had a psych eval and got admitted to a psych hospital for treatment and was diagnosed with a more serious condition that his once-a-week therapist missed (but agreed with, in hindsight). If we had waited he would have gotten worse and might have gotten in a lot more trouble. He doesn't have a police record since he went to the hospital.

Do you mind sharing how bad was the violence?

Flipping over furniture, breaking small furniture, breaking doors and door frames, smashing dishes, and hitting me enough on three separate occasions to leave pretty bad bruises. When we called the cops they did insist on taking pictures of my bruises, which was pretty awful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the bone straight or does the arm veer into weird angles? If so, not an emergency. I would wait a bit.

Take a deep breath or 100, some Advil and think about how to defuse this.

+1
If you truly have a broken arm you would be in so much pain that you wouldn't be typing on DCUM. You probably have a really bad bruise or even a hairline fracture....neither of which is urgent. Doctors can't do anything about it except prescribe you extra strength tylenol. Your body heals these types of injuries on it's own.

I'm sorry about your son. Without context, it's hard to give you good advice. You obviously said something that triggered him. Maybe he felt like you were piling it on. Maybe it was a power struggle between the two of you that went too far?

Was the hitting with this object intentional or did it just richocete or your son meant to throw it somewhere else, but it hit you instead? I'm not condoning it, just trying to put the pieces together.

This is absolutely not true. I've had multiple broken bones throughout my childhood/teen years (serious equestrian, so took a few bad falls), and in only one case was the pain so severe. It is entirely possible to have a broken arm and not be in excruciating pain.

Back in my home country, this kid wouldn’t have a chance to do anything like that. Its not fear, it’s respect. I am 40 and I still dont smoke in front of my parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son became violent toward me last year. Not nearly so bad as your situation but it was a huge behavioral change. I took him to the ER. He was admitted to a treatment program. It was one of the best things I did for him.

This. Do this.

Third. Our son was treated for depression and anxiety for two years, but the violence came on pretty suddenly (he's 14 now). We did call the police, they took him to the ER, he had a psych eval and got admitted to a psych hospital for treatment and was diagnosed with a more serious condition that his once-a-week therapist missed (but agreed with, in hindsight). If we had waited he would have gotten worse and might have gotten in a lot more trouble. He doesn't have a police record since he went to the hospital.

Do you mind sharing how bad was the violence?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son became violent toward me last year. Not nearly so bad as your situation but it was a huge behavioral change. I took him to the ER. He was admitted to a treatment program. It was one of the best things I did for him.

This. Do this.

Third. Our son was treated for depression and anxiety for two years, but the violence came on pretty suddenly (he's 14 now). We did call the police, they took him to the ER, he had a psych eval and got admitted to a psych hospital for treatment and was diagnosed with a more serious condition that his once-a-week therapist missed (but agreed with, in hindsight). If we had waited he would have gotten worse and might have gotten in a lot more trouble. He doesn't have a police record since he went to the hospital.

My arm is ok. Just badly bruised. He is remorseful. We are in therapy. One day at a time.

Anonymous wrote:Pp here who advised waiting— I didn’t tell her to ignore it, I advised she didn’t need to freak out. I actually have a probable fractured foot right now but am waiting and seeing myself. If it is hairline or a bone bruise, there is no need to rush off to the Emergency Room. I will go to Urgent Care at 8 am when there isn’t a line to see about mine. I have done this several times and never disadvantaged by waiting for broken ribs, fingers, toes and bone bruises.

A compound fracture is obviously more serious and she should go right away and get it set, as I indicated.

I personally would want to keep this private and not involve the police as will be likely if she goes to ER.

You’re irresponsible ticing medical,advice online.

OP, you should get checked out. Don’t wait.

“Express very grave displeasure” HAHAHAHAHAHA Classic DCUM

1. Have it X-rayed. It might be a hairline fracture or similar.

2. Express very grave displeasure at such a level of violence, and make an appointment with a psychologist (not a therapist yet, they're all pretty awful with diagnosed conditions).

3. Also ask him what's going on with him. Has he been bullied, assaulted, traumatized in some way? Is he feeling very sick?

4. There are no privileges until he can come up with a sincere and well-thought-out verbal and written apology and explanation as to why he did this, and how he will ensure it will never happen again. No gifts, celebrations, parties, hang-outs with friends (are they part of the problem?), screens, phones, unless strictly for homework. Was his birthday or a special occasion coming up? Too bad, he should have thought of that before he hit you.

Anonymous wrote:First step is medical care

Wrong, clearly the first step is dcum.

People have lots of stupid medical advice here, especially saying that you would know if the arm is broken. When I was younger I broke my arm and my parents didn't take me to the doctor until the next day because they thought it was fine. Point is, it is possible to have a broken bone and put off necessary medical treatment… Please be careful and take care of yourself

Anonymous wrote:Ignoring what happened is NOT in the boy's best interest. OP needs to get help for her son (and for herself). The best way to do that is for 1) OP to receive medical care for her injury, and 2) for OP to get treatment for her son through counseling and/or a therapist. The boy's actions are a warning signal that the son needs help and fast. If we have learned anything from recent events here in our area and in other areas, it is that OP cannot afford to ignore her son's cry for help. Small acts of violence usually lead to larger aggressions and acts.

Agreed.

Anonymous wrote:My son became violent toward me last year. Not nearly so bad as your situation but it was a huge behavioral change. I took him to the ER. He was admitted to a treatment program. It was one of the best things I did for him.

This. Do this.