Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

+1M, I totally wish it was that simple.

However, there are DWs who just don't care about either due to worklife balance. In other words, dealing with kids and work demand robs them of energy/willingness to maintain fit and of course emotinally available for sex.

-Signed hot DH looking to upgrade.

Ok, but you suck due to dumping all the responsibilities on your wife and then looking to trade her in. That’s not hot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy pie. Embrace your age. In the end, we’re all old and wrinkly. You’ll regret not eating that slice of pie.

Society viwes female and male attractiveness differently. It’s pie time when you don’t have to pretend you are 20, or 30. Or 40.

I’m not saying get fat and be unhealthy. Just stop chasing youth. Enjoy the trappings of confidence with age.

This is not good advice.

OP don't listen to this.

Well, women who try to look 20 or 30 in their 50’s and up do just look fake and silly.
It is better to look like your best self.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm jealous. Mine became a huge schlump

+1. But mine still thinks he’s a stud.

Is he confidently eating pie? Because I hear that's all you really need in order to be attractive.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

+1M, I totally wish it was that simple.

However, there are DWs who just don't care about either due to worklife balance. In other words, dealing with kids and work demand robs them of energy/willingness to maintain fit and of course emotinally available for sex.

-Signed hot DH looking to upgrade.

This thread is exhibit A for men "trading in" for a newer model. The best way to avoid this is for women to simply keep up your game. Stay fit, lots of sex. You would do this anyway post divorce, so why not just do it right now with Husband #1 and avoid the whole divorce experience?

My DH got hotter too. I enjoy it and like watching him get hit on in grocery stores and by female neighbors. He's embarrassed by it and I'm not threatened. And when I say he's hot, he's a 9/10 (when he's tan he's a 10) and friends and random strangers even comment on how good looking he is to me.

In a weird way, I've noticed our whole relationship how differently people treat him because of his looks and I feel a bit like an anthropologist watching it all. Women twirl their hair and even men want to be his friend. He's a senior manager at work and I wonder if some of it is because he's tall and good looking. People just expect him to be a good leader because he looks like he'd be a good leader and then he is.

Our kids are 100% identical copies of me. They look just like me. hah. DH was not a cute kid at all though and didn't look hot until high school.

Mine is so much better now than 10 years ago when we met. He shaved his head bald and owns it. Works out and is broad shouldered and muscular and trim and has gotten much better at social cues and melts when our 2 year old wants to hang out with daddy. It’s all so awesome. I’m not too bad myself. Not a lot of time to work out with a new crazy FT job but I dropped the pregnancy weight and then some and do my best at being cheerful and pleasant all around.

All the weight DH lost since we married somehow found its way to me. With each kid he dropped 10 and I gained 10. Luckily he wasn't that overweight and I was severely underweight. But, yeah, I'm going to look "old" and he's going to look "distinguished."

Let's get the advertisers to change the narrative and put a normal looking older woman out there are call her distinguished (not invasive cosmetic work allowed; must be SES-neutral).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm jealous. Mine became a huge schlump

+1. But mine still thinks he’s a stud.

This thread is gold!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy pie. Embrace your age. In the end, we’re all old and wrinkly. You’ll regret not eating that slice of pie.

Society viwes female and male attractiveness differently. It’s pie time when you don’t have to pretend you are 20, or 30. Or 40.

I’m not saying get fat and be unhealthy. Just stop chasing youth. Enjoy the trappings of confidence with age.

This is not good advice.

OP don't listen to this.

NP, and it’s not bad advice, just incomplete. OP, confidence is attractive. Being confident in your own skin, your mind, your talents and abilities will give you a glow no amount of plastics or hours in the gym can. Take care of yourself because this is your one and only life and body, but don’t miss out on things either. Being happy and confident will keep your DH’s attention (although regularly hitting the gym will help aesthetically and mentally).

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy pie. Embrace your age. In the end, we’re all old and wrinkly. You’ll regret not eating that slice of pie.

Society viwes female and male attractiveness differently. It’s pie time when you don’t have to pretend you are 20, or 30. Or 40.

I’m not saying get fat and be unhealthy. Just stop chasing youth. Enjoy the trappings of confidence with age.

This is not good advice.

OP don't listen to this.

Anonymous wrote:Hi Mrs Bezos!

lol

Luckily this is something you can fix.

Lose weight, pay attention to your clothes, wear makeup, etc. You know what to do.

Guy here: I’d never describe myself as hot, but I’m in my late 40’s and always kept in shape. I’m the most muscular I’ve ever been (had to go up a shirt size and quit wearing some tighter shirts) from lifting weights using a trainer for the last year+. I’ve also got all of my hair and dress on trend.

I work at a company that instituted a college hire program a few years back and so my office has several post college men/women running around. I do get attention occasionally and enjoy seeing the attractive girls but I’d never do anything to damage my relationship with my wife.

Also, my wife stays pretty fit too and we have a lot of fun together.

Anonymous wrote:Why assume he's tempted when he travels? Maybe he's in love with you and you're who he thinks about.

I'm almost 49, hot Dh, high earner, and he travels. He calls me all the time, sends me photos, writes me emails and sends texts. He's like a kid at camp wanting to report everything he's doing. We've got the kind of relationship where he can tell me if he's attracted to someone and it just doesn't happen. I'm not saying your dh is like mine, but please don't assume he's tempted just because your have low self-esteem right now. Just lose the weight. It's that simple. And that hard! But you can do it!

I think that’s great! My husband kind of checks out when he travels