Anonymous wrote:Maybe start with 23andme. It would be handy to have for health reasons and may satisfy some of his curiosity. Then should he decide to contact his father he can give name of mother,other details he knows and inform DNA test has been done.

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OP's husband is 40 years old so the seminar took place 40 years ago. There is absolutely no way I would remember either the seminar or the one night stand woman and it's probably safe to say most other people wouldn't either.

But you probably would not forget the fact that you had sex with at least one woman at a seminar. Either that was your habit or it was an unusual thing; either way you'd remember it.

I can only speak from my experience but I don't remember women from 15 years ago and the various scenarios that I have had sex with them (ONS, even some women I dated for brief periods). So, if this type of situation happened to me and someone said "oh you met my mom at a bar" then yeah, I suppose that could be a valid possibility but it's a fairly generic thing. And I'm only talking 15 years, OP's situation is 40 years!

I see you point, though including specific details like that would make be at least investigate.

Try again:
I see your point, though including specific details like that would make me likely to at least investigate.

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OP's husband is 40 years old so the seminar took place 40 years ago. There is absolutely no way I would remember either the seminar or the one night stand woman and it's probably safe to say most other people wouldn't either.

But you probably would not forget the fact that you had sex with at least one woman at a seminar. Either that was your habit or it was an unusual thing; either way you'd remember it.

I can only speak from my experience but I don't remember women from 15 years ago and the various scenarios that I have had sex with them (ONS, even some women I dated for brief periods). So, if this type of situation happened to me and someone said "oh you met my mom at a bar" then yeah, I suppose that could be a valid possibility but it's a fairly generic thing. And I'm only talking 15 years, OP's situation is 40 years!

I see you point, though including specific details like that would make be at least investigate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP's husband is 40 years old so the seminar took place 40 years ago. There is absolutely no way I would remember either the seminar or the one night stand woman and it's probably safe to say most other people wouldn't either.

But you probably would not forget the fact that you had sex with at least one woman at a seminar. Either that was your habit or it was an unusual thing; either way you'd remember it.

I can only speak from my experience but I don't remember women from 15 years ago and the various scenarios that I have had sex with them (ONS, even some women I dated for brief periods). So, if this type of situation happened to me and someone said "oh you met my mom at a bar" then yeah, I suppose that could be a valid possibility but it's a fairly generic thing. And I'm only talking 15 years, OP's situation is 40 years!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP's husband is 40 years old so the seminar took place 40 years ago. There is absolutely no way I would remember either the seminar or the one night stand woman and it's probably safe to say most other people wouldn't either.

But you probably would not forget the fact that you had sex with at least one woman at a seminar. Either that was your habit or it was an unusual thing; either way you'd remember it.

Anonymous wrote:

OP's husband is 40 years old so the seminar took place 40 years ago. There is absolutely no way I would remember either the seminar or the one night stand woman and it's probably safe to say most other people wouldn't either.

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Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he's going through a rough time with his mother and somehow thinks finding his dad would provide some sort of answer. As irrational as that idea is, it's still his right to find his bio father. You can try all the arguments you want, but ultimately you have no say in this matter. Butt out.

I just don’t want to see him unnecessarily hurt. And for what? He’s a wonderful man despite never knowing his father.

I KNOW it isn’t my choice, but I’m seeing more clearly, and I don’t want him hurt.

Give more credit to your husband.

You don’t know my husband.

We do know one thing about him. He has demonstrated poor judgement by marrying OP.

Why? Because I know he is easily hurt and then marinates in it for weeks and his mood affects our whole family, and I don’t want to see him hurt by this? I really don’t know what the best thing to do is, that’s why I’m here. I thought the best thing was to help him avoid unnecessary hurt, but now I see that’s not what’s right.

What is the unnecessary hurt? Rejection? His bio father might simply not respond to his contact. I know that I would not if I got a message from my hypothetical son. Disappointment? Not liking the person who is his bio dad?

NP here and I too would probably not respond. That is probably the most likely outcome if for no other reason than the bio dad will probably think it's some kind of scam.

Really? If the contact included the name of the woman and the dates of the seminar -here would some one come up with that for a scam?

Anonymous wrote:
What is the unnecessary hurt? Rejection? His bio father might simply not respond to his contact. I know that I would not if I got a message from my hypothetical son. Disappointment? Not liking the person who is his bio dad?