Anonymous wrote:I don’t see any child as a “threat”. Who the hell are you people? What world do you live in?

I’m guessing you are all at Clubs that put a heavy emphasis on team placement vs development. Clubs where people are stepping on one another for some perceived glory of an A team spot.

It’s what I tell my kids, your competition isn’t some other kid in Loudoun or McLean or Arlington. If it is, you are limiting yourself. There are kids all over this country a million times better than anyone in your Club, or the local DA. We won’t even start on a Internationally.

My kids want to be the best they can be. They aren’t comparing themselves to anyone in the Club. They don’t care so much what the team is doing. For instance, if the team won but they didn’t play well that day-they are upset.

If it helps you to think people aren’t charting your kid’s development course for you because they are jealous or see your kid as a threat, you have a really inflated view of your child’s talent.

My kids do their own thing to achieve their own goals which aren’t to be on some A team in this area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see any child as a “threat”. Who the hell are you people? What world do you live in?

I’m guessing you are all at Clubs that put a heavy emphasis on team placement vs development. Clubs where people are stepping on one another for some perceived glory of an A team spot.

It’s what I tell my kids, your competition isn’t some other kid in Loudoun or McLean or Arlington. If it is, you are limiting yourself. There are kids all over this country a million times better than anyone in your Club, or the local DA. We won’t even start on a Internationally.

My kids want to be the best they can be. They aren’t comparing themselves to anyone in the Club. They don’t care so much what the team is doing. For instance, if the team won but they didn’t play well that day-they are upset.

If it helps you to think people aren’t charting your kid’s development course for you because they are jealous or see your kid as a threat, you have a really inflated view of your child’s talent.

My kids do their own thing to achieve their own goals which aren’t to be on some A team in this area.

+100

If it were a friend or a parent I had a good relationship I definitely share information, but to just anyone on a team--no. Why should I? I agree with the sentiment expressed above.

Too many parents are misguided and so their kids are as well. They don't see the big picture which is much bigger than their local Club and its 6 teams. If you want your kid to have perfect first touch, understand the field and have good ball skill---you are going to have to focus on that outside of the Club setting. Clubs around here develop teams beginning at age 7/8. They don't develop individuals. The kid is useless once he has to rely on his own skill and tryout elsewhere without the networking his parents have established.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see any child as a “threat”. Who the hell are you people? What world do you live in?

I’m guessing you are all at Clubs that put a heavy emphasis on team placement vs development. Clubs where people are stepping on one another for some perceived glory of an A team spot.

It’s what I tell my kids, your competition isn’t some other kid in Loudoun or McLean or Arlington. If it is, you are limiting yourself. There are kids all over this country a million times better than anyone in your Club, or the local DA. We won’t even start on a Internationally.

My kids want to be the best they can be. They aren’t comparing themselves to anyone in the Club. They don’t care so much what the team is doing. For instance, if the team won but they didn’t play well that day-they are upset.

If it helps you to think people aren’t charting your kid’s development course for you because they are jealous or see your kid as a threat, you have a really inflated view of your child’s talent.

My kids do their own thing to achieve their own goals which aren’t to be on some A team in this area.

+100

If it were a friend or a parent I had a good relationship I definitely share information, but to just anyone on a team--no. Why should I? I agree with the sentiment expressed above.

Too many parents are misguided and so their kids are as well. They don't see the big picture which is much bigger than their local Club and its 6 teams. If you want your kid to have perfect first touch, understand the field and have good ball skill---you are going to have to focus on that outside of the Club setting. Clubs around here develop teams beginning at age 7/8. They don't develop individuals. The kid is useless once he has to rely on his own skill and tryout elsewhere without the networking his parents have established.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see any child as a “threat”. Who the hell are you people? What world do you live in?

I’m guessing you are all at Clubs that put a heavy emphasis on team placement vs development. Clubs where people are stepping on one another for some perceived glory of an A team spot.

It’s what I tell my kids, your competition isn’t some other kid in Loudoun or McLean or Arlington. If it is, you are limiting yourself. There are kids all over this country a million times better than anyone in your Club, or the local DA. We won’t even start on a Internationally.

My kids want to be the best they can be. They aren’t comparing themselves to anyone in the Club. They don’t care so much what the team is doing. For instance, if the team won but they didn’t play well that day-they are upset.

If it helps you to think people aren’t charting your kid’s development course for you because they are jealous or see your kid as a threat, you have a really inflated view of your child’s talent.

My kids do their own thing to achieve their own goals which aren’t to be on some A team in this area.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your kid well-behaved? Does he/she listen to coaches and take it seriously? Is he always boasting or negative to his teammates? Your kid, not you, could also be a factor.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would assume that means your child is not as good a player as their child and the presence of your child at their extra training session would bring down the overall quality.

I'm going to suggest it could just as easily be the opposite, and the defensive reactions in this thread lend credence to my hypothesis.

These parents may view your kid as competition. If their own DCs can go off to this secretive private training, maybe they can stay ahead of your kid and anyone else who tries out.

The idea that your kid is going to "drag down" an extra training session seems ridiculous. Why would your kid even be at the SAME extra training session? Do private trainers just do one session each week, no matter how many kids are interested?

So the most likely scenarios to me would be:

1. They're trying to keep your kids from catching up to or surpassing their own kids.

2. They're just jerks.

In an ideal world, your child will go to a different club next year at a higher level with more supportive parents who share information. The "do your own research" idea is garbage -- soooo many parents think they've "done their own research," and they've been misled by a couple of people. Or they think their own experience applies to everyone else. (I read an entire Kindle mini-book on that subject last night -- it was pretty good in terms of sharing the author's experience, but there was little attempt to account for anyone ELSE's experience.)

Share information, folks. There are so many coaches out there spreading a lot of crap. The more parents talk, the less these coaches can con you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's could be that they don't like you or your child, but without meeting you and without even asking what sport you're talking about, I'm guessing it's competitiveness, ie, wanting to make sure their child has an extra advantage. While many parents will be forthcoming, there's minority who feel that they have to hid whatever they're doing or else their child will lose their advantage over the competition for team spots, playing time, etc.playing

The crazy thing is that one of the parents apparently said they don't share because I am being competitive. They think I am stressful and would rather not deal with it.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would assume that means your child is not as good a player as their child and the presence of your child at their extra training session would bring down the overall quality.

I'm going to suggest it could just as easily be the opposite, and the defensive reactions in this thread lend credence to my hypothesis.

These parents may view your kid as competition. If their own DCs can go off to this secretive private training, maybe they can stay ahead of your kid and anyone else who tries out.

The idea that your kid is going to "drag down" an extra training session seems ridiculous. Why would your kid even be at the SAME extra training session? Do private trainers just do one session each week, no matter how many kids are interested?

So the most likely scenarios to me would be:

1. They're trying to keep your kids from catching up to or surpassing their own kids.

2. They're just jerks.

In an ideal world, your child will go to a different club next year at a higher level with more supportive parents who share information. The "do your own research" idea is garbage -- soooo many parents think they've "done their own research," and they've been misled by a couple of people. Or they think their own experience applies to everyone else. (I read an entire Kindle mini-book on that subject last night -- it was pretty good in terms of sharing the author's experience, but there was little attempt to account for anyone ELSE's experience.)

Share information, folks. There are so many coaches out there spreading a lot of crap. The more parents talk, the less these coaches can con you.

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As some others have suggested, I think you need to consider that this is really an issue regarding your behavior. If someone stated that you stress them out, why would they want to spend any more time with you than necessary? Especially if you have experienced this with more than one parent. Who is the common denominator?

Agreed. Why is OP so concerned with what other families are doing? He/she should get together with RantingSoccerDad. I think there’s a reason they aren’t invited.

Why do you assume this is personal for me? I'm not in the market for anything.

I'm just hoping to create an environment in which parents are (A) well-informed and (B) not maniacs.

I'm surprised this is so upsetting for some people.