Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to shame him into staying if his family is better off without him? Rhetorical question.
Abandoning in the context of a modern American family would be cutting off the financial support. I doubt the gender-neutral monstrosity he has to call his wife would mind his leaving as long as he keeps the money coming.
We only have one life. Look at the next thread. Just like the female OP, he's just done with his lame wife and kids![]()
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.
I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!
Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.
It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.
NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.
Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.
Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.
I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.
OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.
You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.
Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.
There is nothing in OP's message that says he wants to abandon his children or escape responsibility. The way I read it, he got tired of his wife's bullshit. Not a novel concept in modern America. If he wants out, he's got every right to get out. Many men dream of this, he's just one of the few who can pull it off. Hate him for it it makes you feel better. Oh, and there's not a gaping divide between Detroit and, say, Toronto mentioned above. Just saying. I think many PPs are two quick to assume the man is scum. While this may be a possibility, I wonder what makes women jump to this conclusion. Surely not a successful marriage or a fulfilling relationship, right. It's quite sad that DCUM demographic is so uniform in its bitterness when it comes to relationships.
Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to shame him into staying if his family is better off without him? Rhetorical question.
Abandoning in the context of a modern American family would be cutting off the financial support. I doubt the gender-neutral monstrosity he has to call his wife would mind his leaving as long as he keeps the money coming.
We only have one life. Look at the next thread. Just like the female OP, he's just done with his lame wife and kids![]()
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.
I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!
Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.
It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.
NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.
Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.
Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.
I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.
OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.
You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.
Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.
There is nothing in OP's message that says he wants to abandon his children or escape responsibility. The way I read it, he got tired of his wife's bullshit. Not a novel concept in modern America. If he wants out, he's got every right to get out. Many men dream of this, he's just one of the few who can pull it off. Hate him for it it makes you feel better. Oh, and there's not a gaping divide between Detroit and, say, Toronto mentioned above. Just saying. I think many PPs are two quick to assume the man is scum. While this may be a possibility, I wonder what makes women jump to this conclusion. Surely not a successful marriage or a fulfilling relationship, right. It's quite sad that DCUM demographic is so uniform in its bitterness when it comes to relationships.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.
I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!
Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.
It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.
NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.
Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.
Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.
I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.
OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.
You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.
Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get him some emergency mental health help. He needs it.
Was my first thought as well. Any history of mental health issues? Suicide risk?