Anonymous wrote:I'm white and take shoes off in my house. Asians don't have a monopoly on being clean.

My kids say "we are kind of Asian, please, take off shoes" to their friends. We are not Asian, but I don't like shoes in the house. I remember renting a room in grad school. The owner had no shoes and no bare feet policy, home socks only. She had deep carpets, nobody ever questioned. I guess it reduced her cleaning costs significantly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, not Asian. Originally from a different English speaking country, also spent a few years in a non-English-speaking European country. Now in the USA for a decade.

We always remove shoes in the house, have always done so, and ask others to do so as well if they don't figure it out for themselves. We don't have pets or other filth on the floors, the kids are often laying around playing on the floor, and we want to keep things pretty clean.

Honestly though, most of the people that I can remember inviting over just do it automatically.

Same here. Almost everyone we know -- mostly white -- removes their shoes in their own houses or at least asks. We are also a no-shoe house but we're not militant about it. My mom and my grandparents have foot problems. When they come over they ask apologetically if they can keep their shoes on and of course I say yes. (My mom does take off shoes in her own house but then puts on indoor shoes.) I would rather clean afterwards than make them feel uncomfortable. No one my age (late 30s) has ever batted an eye at going barefoot or just in socks.

I can't remember the last time I went to someone's house and did not remove my shoes. And I always ask. I think most people these days are open to the idea. A sign isn't necessary. You can just ask them nicely when they come in.

I think if I had relatives with legit medical issues then I'd buy them a nice pair of slippers to wear/keep at our house (of their preference/choosing), so that we're all comfortable. Maybe I'm a bit more OCD than most, but I personally wouldn't be able to relax knowing that someone was trekking street/metro filth and dog crap and whatever else they've ever stepped in through my house. Our floor tends to be a lot cleaner than most though and the thought of animals inside the house also turns my stomach. I don't want to bleach the hard floors and steam clean the carpets just because we have people visit - little kids and no time for unscheduled deep cleanings!

You must get sick a lot.

I'm white and take shoes off in my house. Asians don't have a monopoly on being clean.

We keep shoe covers, since service people in particular can't remove their shoes (company policy - insurance).

For larger parties, shoes are fine. If it's < 10 people, we ask them to remove shoes (and offer shoe covers, though no one' taken us up on that).

Anonymous wrote:We have this cultural get together and I would love to invite certain people over and I haven’t because I don’t know how to deal with the shoe issue. All the other guests know that we remove shoes and they do(most of them do in their own homes too) and I am talking about approximately 50 popper.
Will it help to mention in the invite that this would be a no show event? Is that crazy??

"This is a cultural event, and as such we are requesting that shoes be removed at the door. Slippers will be provided for those uncomfortable wearing socks." ?

We have this cultural get together and I would love to invite certain people over and I haven’t because I don’t know how to deal with the shoe issue. All the other guests know that we remove shoes and they do(most of them do in their own homes too) and I am talking about approximately 50 popper.
Will it help to mention in the invite that this would be a no show event? Is that crazy??

We take off our shoes when we come in the house but don't expect others to do so. Sometimes people offer, maybe it's because they see the basket of shoes by the door, but that's mostly for convenience for us.

The thing that gets me is if I'm invited to a party at someone's house and I choose my shoes as part of my outfit and then I'm asked to take off my shoes when I arrive. If I knew that would be the case I would have worn a dress instead of pants that are hemmed to go with heels so drag on the floor when barefoot. I feel like if you're having an event in your home that would prompt people to dress nicely or at least put thought into what they choose to wear then it's only courteous to allow them to keep their shoes on. I'd imagine you'd have to clean the floor after such an event anyway.

Anonymous wrote:New poster here,
For those suggesting cleaning the floor after they leave, how do you clean the rug?
I had a neighbor over for lunch and she didn’t remove her shoes. I didn’t ask her to because it felt very awkward to. But I just couldn’t stand the fact that she walked all over our rug in the family room. We lay down on it very often. I still don’t know how to deal with this! Most people look at my feet and ask me if they need to remove their shoes but some don’t.

I vacuum. Use Spot Shot if there's obvious dirt. But usually there isn't. People who are used to wearing shoes in the house usually wipe/stomp off most of the dirt before coming in. I sit and lie on the rug all the time and so do my young kids. I don't obsess over a little dirt unless I know for sure there was something nasty. In fact I probably won't even vacuum until the next day or whenever the usual scheduled time is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, not Asian. Originally from a different English speaking country, also spent a few years in a non-English-speaking European country. Now in the USA for a decade.

We always remove shoes in the house, have always done so, and ask others to do so as well if they don't figure it out for themselves. We don't have pets or other filth on the floors, the kids are often laying around playing on the floor, and we want to keep things pretty clean.

Honestly though, most of the people that I can remember inviting over just do it automatically.

Same here. Almost everyone we know -- mostly white -- removes their shoes in their own houses or at least asks. We are also a no-shoe house but we're not militant about it. My mom and my grandparents have foot problems. When they come over they ask apologetically if they can keep their shoes on and of course I say yes. (My mom does take off shoes in her own house but then puts on indoor shoes.) I would rather clean afterwards than make them feel uncomfortable. No one my age (late 30s) has ever batted an eye at going barefoot or just in socks.

I can't remember the last time I went to someone's house and did not remove my shoes. And I always ask. I think most people these days are open to the idea. A sign isn't necessary. You can just ask them nicely when they come in.

I think if I had relatives with legit medical issues then I'd buy them a nice pair of slippers to wear/keep at our house (of their preference/choosing), so that we're all comfortable. Maybe I'm a bit more OCD than most, but I personally wouldn't be able to relax knowing that someone was trekking street/metro filth and dog crap and whatever else they've ever stepped in through my house. Our floor tends to be a lot cleaner than most though and the thought of animals inside the house also turns my stomach. I don't want to bleach the hard floors and steam clean the carpets just because we have people visit - little kids and no time for unscheduled deep cleanings!

PP you're quoting. We have 2 cats so there goes that ...

Anonymous wrote:We remove our shoes in the house, but when we have guests who are not family or very close friends we put our shoes on for their visit, so that they feel comfortable keeping theirs on. I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, although I do remove mine when visiting people with shoeless households.

I can’t imagine having a dinner party with work associates and everyone is walking around barefoot or in socks.

Cleaning floors after a gathering is a small price to pay for guests’ comfort.

The dinner party is what I’m wondering about too. Do these shoeless households really expect guests at a dinner or holiday party to take off their shoes?! I’d be very uncomfortable removing my shoes if I had ‘dressed for an occasion’. Casual small lunch, ok. But adults over for dinner would be very awkward in my social circle and family. I’d never be shoeless in my own house for these types of events. I’d be in heels and a dress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white, not Asian. Originally from a different English speaking country, also spent a few years in a non-English-speaking European country. Now in the USA for a decade.

We always remove shoes in the house, have always done so, and ask others to do so as well if they don't figure it out for themselves. We don't have pets or other filth on the floors, the kids are often laying around playing on the floor, and we want to keep things pretty clean.

Honestly though, most of the people that I can remember inviting over just do it automatically.

Same here. Almost everyone we know -- mostly white -- removes their shoes in their own houses or at least asks. We are also a no-shoe house but we're not militant about it. My mom and my grandparents have foot problems. When they come over they ask apologetically if they can keep their shoes on and of course I say yes. (My mom does take off shoes in her own house but then puts on indoor shoes.) I would rather clean afterwards than make them feel uncomfortable. No one my age (late 30s) has ever batted an eye at going barefoot or just in socks.

I can't remember the last time I went to someone's house and did not remove my shoes. And I always ask. I think most people these days are open to the idea. A sign isn't necessary. You can just ask them nicely when they come in.

I think if I had relatives with legit medical issues then I'd buy them a nice pair of slippers to wear/keep at our house (of their preference/choosing), so that we're all comfortable. Maybe I'm a bit more OCD than most, but I personally wouldn't be able to relax knowing that someone was trekking street/metro filth and dog crap and whatever else they've ever stepped in through my house. Our floor tends to be a lot cleaner than most though and the thought of animals inside the house also turns my stomach. I don't want to bleach the hard floors and steam clean the carpets just because we have people visit - little kids and no time for unscheduled deep cleanings!

I highly doubt that anyone who had dog poop on their shoes would walk into your house and onto your carpets. If you or your kids ever sit on a park bench or play ina grassy field, you'd encounter the same types of germs that might be on someone's shoes. And kids exposed to more dust and dirt earlier on in life grow up healthier, so there's that.

I would let your guests know in advance (like along with an invitation, mention that you have a shoeless home) so they can be prepared.

It's incredibly rude, OP. Despite what some of the PPs are saying, you simply do not ask guests to remove their shoes. I grew up in Hawaii where culturally no one wears shoes in the house. I taught in Hawaii and my kids didn't even wear shoes in the classroom. I understand how unnatural it feels to have shoes indoors. But asking a guest to remove their shoes is just not ok. Most guests will take their cue from you. If not, just vacuum and mop when they leave.

The rudeness or discomfort comes from when someone is not prepared to take thier shoes off. I have problems with my feet, so wearing slippery socks on a bare wood floor is a problem. I would be uncomfortable the entire time I was in your house. My husband never goes shoeless, so he is very uncomfortable if asked to take off his shoes.

I also hate it when I come to pick up my kid at these houses and I have to decide whether to untie my shoes and take them off, or stand awkardky at the door. If I know the people well enough, I can remember to wear shoes that slip off.

Providing slippers or socks with grippers would help, but if you are really worried about being impolite, only ask people who know the rule beforehand (so they can chose to wear socks and shoes that work). Even then, yes, some of your guests are going to be very uncomfortable

I think some discomfort also comes from how differently I was raised. I was taught that a good guest never removes thier shoes.

Anonymous wrote:We remove our shoes in the house, but when we have guests who are not family or very close friends we put our shoes on for their visit, so that they feel comfortable keeping theirs on. I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, although I do remove mine when visiting people with shoeless households.

I can’t imagine having a dinner party with work associates and everyone is walking around barefoot or in socks.

Cleaning floors after a gathering is a small price to pay for guests’ comfort.

Exactly what I do.