Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this thread has focused on is college as a job factory. IME, that is and should have been the role of graduate school. I went public and did fine in terms of career but it was too big, I got lost and did not do what I needed to receive an education. It was not until later in life that I paused long enough to notice that and have regrets. Sure there are people who go public for financial reasons, are suited to navigate a large environment and go on to thrive. Others don't because it doesn't fit. Private colleges are exorbitantly expensive. They also have benefits due to size, faculty and peer group to inform choices. Their reputations also smooth entry into careers and the best graduate schools. We are comparing Fords to BMW's...both can get you where you want to go but with different feels to the experience.

Disagree. Private liberals, yes. But Harvard undergrad with classes of 300+ are no different than UVA or other state schools. Harvard’s focus is their huge grad program. Undergrads are not that important.

Plus an in state UVA that goes to Harvard grad is no different than someone who went to Harvard for under and grad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

I wouldn't go this route myself but others might choose differently. That's all.
Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

This is how you equate love? Sounds like how you equate entitled brats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

I realize these parents *think* they are helping their kids. But are their kids really aware of the long-term impacts? Are the kids OK with the fact that they may then need to support their parents in their old age, are they OK with mom and dad moving in with them when they can afford their own home? If the whole family is on-board with it, then I guess, OK, you do you. But, I get the sense that these "I'll sacrifice anything!" parents aren't being straight with their kids about what this means. I love my kids too and that means helping them go to a good college we can afford AND not being a burden on them when I'm old.

Maybe the parent intends to live on their pension/social security and doesn't think that their kid will have to support them.

What a parent *thinks* and what happens in reality is often very different. Intending to live solely on one's SS payouts is just plain reckless. Also, pensions are not as common anymore.

Anonymous wrote:All this thread has focused on is college as a job factory. IME, that is and should have been the role of graduate school. I went public and did fine in terms of career but it was too big, I got lost and did not do what I needed to receive an education. It was not until later in life that I paused long enough to notice that and have regrets. Sure there are people who go public for financial reasons, are suited to navigate a large environment and go on to thrive. Others don't because it doesn't fit. Private colleges are exorbitantly expensive. They also have benefits due to size, faculty and peer group to inform choices. Their reputations also smooth entry into careers and the best graduate schools. We are comparing Fords to BMW's...both can get you where you want to go but with different feels to the experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

I realize these parents *think* they are helping their kids. But are their kids really aware of the long-term impacts? Are the kids OK with the fact that they may then need to support their parents in their old age, are they OK with mom and dad moving in with them when they can afford their own home? If the whole family is on-board with it, then I guess, OK, you do you. But, I get the sense that these "I'll sacrifice anything!" parents aren't being straight with their kids about what this means. I love my kids too and that means helping them go to a good college we can afford AND not being a burden on them when I'm old.

Maybe the parent intends to live on their pension/social security and doesn't think that their kid will have to support them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

Yeah, PP. You don't love your kids if you're not willing to live in filth for them to go to Princeton.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

I realize these parents *think* they are helping their kids. But are their kids really aware of the long-term impacts? Are the kids OK with the fact that they may then need to support their parents in their old age, are they OK with mom and dad moving in with them when they can afford their own home? If the whole family is on-board with it, then I guess, OK, you do you. But, I get the sense that these "I'll sacrifice anything!" parents aren't being straight with their kids about what this means. I love my kids too and that means helping them go to a good college we can afford AND not being a burden on them when I'm old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

It is what it is. Parents love their kids and many are willing to make these sacrifices for their children even if it means living in a dump and eating ramen for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.

Well that's just plain financially irresponsible. Not happening for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There is no “donut hole” if one is financially responsible. That is kind of the point."

Actually, THERE IS. For a certain group of families, after you practice the level of "financial responsibility" you are talking about for 20 or so years, and you see your parents zip through their savings in about half the time they expected or you see your neighbor lose their $300k per year job the year before their first of three DC head off to college, all of a sudden, while you know you have the money, spending it is not easy.

Lots of people become more conservative as they get older. I'm not talking about socially conservative or even politically conservative, I'm talking "I've seen too many bad things happen to too many good people, less risk taking, conservative."

I think the more financially responsible you have been, the more likely you are to end up in this version of the "donut hole".

I've heard of parents using large HELOCs, 401K loans to pay for 70K+/year schools for their kids. They are coming up with the money to pay for the schools and they are doing everything that they can to keep their kid's own student loan debt at a minimum....

It's this or choose to go to an in state school which is still not all that cheap and might even still be a stretch for some of these families.