Anonymous
03/26/2018 15:49
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.
How would that be a bad thing for the OP?
Why wait? OP, get it over with. Why stay with your miserable kids and DH?
Anonymous
03/26/2018 15:46
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.
How would that be a bad thing for the OP?
Anonymous
03/26/2018 14:19
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Go OP! I've been doing a lot of thinking about what skills I want my kids to have as they grow up (they're 3 and 5 right now) and have already started on that work. It's easy getting them on board since all the tasks seem fun to them. Yesterday they were making a marinade for the chicken for dinner and my 3 year old was peeling cucumbers for our dinner. I tell my kids all the time DH and I aren't their maids. I can only imagine how you felt after years of being treated like that by your kids and your DH. I would have reached my breaking point too!
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:57
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:I swear my husband is helpless. My kids are helpless. The sad part is I allowed it go on so long. I do EVERYTHING. I am tired and I am so done. I have nothing left to give. I decided to be selfish for once and go on a long weekend with some friends. First trip like this I have taken in YEARS! Was anyone in my family supportive. NOPE! All they cared about is how it would affect them. My own husband did not want to take care of his kids for 4 days. I told him to get his shit together because I was going. He was moody moving forward till the day I left. In my quiet time I did a lot of thinking on my trip. I decided to make some MAJOR changes when I got home.
I assigned the kids chores. If they don't not do them they were grounded for 1 day for each chore they do not do. I stopped making breakfast. The kids eat cereal now. They complain. I tell them if they want a home cooked breakfast they can make it themselves and they better clean up their mess. The kids now make their own lunches for school. Surprise surprise they can now eat at school even though before they claimed school lunches were crap. For dinner I might cook if I feel like it. Otherwise its sandwiches or something real quick. The only laundry I do is my own. Husband and kids do their own laundry. If they leave their crap in the common areas for an extended period of time into the trash it goes.
Everyone thinks I have gone crazy. I tell my husband I am stepping back to save my sanity. I told him if he wants to save our marriage he better step up. The kids complain to him constantly now thinking he is going to "save" them from chores. The kids asked them to cook and he told them he did not know how to cook. Welcome to parent hood buddy.
The moment you say that, your marriage is over.
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:50
Subject: Re:sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:When cooks breakfast in the AM? Are you a SAHM with two kids in school?
I do, and I WOH full time with two toddlers. I prioritize waking up 30 minutes earlier so my family doesn’t eat processed crap for breakfast. Totally team OP though, my kids have the excuse of being toddlers and my DH does the dishes.
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:46
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?
You've gone too far to the other extreme...not making dinner? C'mon op.
How about you prep dinner (so everyone is actually eating real food) and kids cleanup. Or dh makes dinner on weekends and you clean up. Or so.ethibg along those lines.
Meeting halfway goes over a lot better than all-or-nothing approach.
Half way? She is doing what needs to be done. Kids used to work from dawn to dusk in the past, just to make farm/house work. Everybody worked, husband in the fields, with animals, wife and kids too. Waking up before dawn to go to factory or ranch, kids took care of younger kids and cooked and cleaned and worked, grandmas helped with food and kids, wives worked in the veggie garden/farm or factories. Now one person is expected to work full time at a paying job, cook, clean, take care of the kids, look pretty, have a perfect house, attend all PTA, go to every sporting/musical event. Drive kid around to all the activities, oh, yeah and feed them like Wolfgang Pack? Equality is nowhere to be found, except for few lucky women, and the worst thing is women keep the toxic cycle spinning with their "doing it all for the sake of peace in the family."
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:34
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
I am previous pp. I wish my MIL implemented what you are doing. Instead FIL is a sexist pig who think all the problems in marriages would go away if wives just shut up and do all the work! My DH was a slob, his sister is a total slob, like literally disgusting, her kids are the same. My FIL is deluded that he had the best marriage(she kept quiet and did all the work!) She died before 50. On the same day she tried to do work for 4 people to please her DH!
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:23
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound really annoying. I predict divorce within a year.
I am very annoying and now demanding. Slave driver. I am sure my husband and kids can come up with a few more adjectives. I also agree if my husband does not help out move I predict we will be divorced before the year is out. He has this summer when the kids are out of school to step up. If he does not he will be getting divorce papers. He does not know this yet but if we do end up divorcing the kids will be living with him 50% of the time.
Good for you! I have been posting about how women need to stop acting like martyrs and doing everything and that is the only way to change how world sees and treats women. If I could implement a world wide women strike I would love to do it. Here is an article that says moms work not a full time job, but actually two and a half full time jobs! And people act like SAHMs sit on their a**es all day long. Even if half on it is true, that is heck a lot of work! To previous pp, she needs to realize that divorce is not the end of the world. My DH works overseas, and I have less work with him not here. The idea that men help at home is more of a myth than a reality for most families even in the US. Stay on course!
https://www.mummypages.co.uk/being-a-mum-is-the-equivalent-of-25-full-time-jobs-according-to-new-research[url]
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:22
Subject: Re:sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:When cooks breakfast in the AM? Are you a SAHM with two kids in school?
Being a SAHM doesn't mean you're a short order cook or even required to make breakfast.
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:22
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:Team OP
You go hon
Remember we are raising adults and you don’t want your Dc to end up like your dh
I am team OP as well!
Anonymous
03/26/2018 13:04
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
I seem to remember another OP a while back who posted that she was doing the same thing, and with kids who are a similar age. Does anyone else remember that? I wonder how it's gone for her?
Anonymous
03/26/2018 12:30
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
I’m on your side, OP. Kids, and a lot of men, just don’t get polite requests and subtle hints. You have to really shock them and stick to your guns. I applaud you. I can’t believe people are actually bashing you—it’s your husband and kids who owe you an apology for the way they’ve acted, not the other way around!
Anonymous
03/26/2018 06:58
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Would have been livid if I had taken a rare trip and returned to a trashed house especially with Kids old enough to know better! You go girl.
Anonymous
03/26/2018 06:35
Subject: sick of my needy husband and kids
Come on OP, tell us about the guy you met on your trip.
Anonymous
03/26/2018 00:30
Subject: Re:sick of my needy husband and kids
Anonymous wrote:When cooks breakfast in the AM? Are you a SAHM with two kids in school?
She wrote upthread she works full time. Some people are just not lazy.