My DH and I have each other's passwords, but just because that ends up happening when trying to share joint responsibilities - we need each other's stuff at times to login to accounts, or place craigslist ads for each other (selling something), or who knows what else. It just ends up happening. But I don't read his emails or look for things in his emails or anything like that.

We have access to each other's emails and I don't have a password on my phone. That said, we respect each other's privacy, so I don't snoop and I don't think he does either. I have, on occasion, looked at his email to find specific stuff like emails regarding our kids' activities, flight reservations, etc. He's aware and he's welcome to do the same. I hope that there are other things that keep him from cheating on me other than my unfettered access to his information.

Anonymous wrote:Should you have access to all of your DH's e-mail accounts? or is that crazy?

If you don't trust your spouse to the point where you want access to their emails, then you are in a very unhealthy relationship. To answer your question: No, a spouse should not have access to the email accounts of their spouse.

Is it me or is paranoia seemingly advancing at the same rate of technology?

All these people who think it is so weird that DH and I have access to all of each other's accounts are very young. My parents have only ONE phone with ONE answering machine. They share ONE email account that they barely use. Yes, my husband and I have NO home phone but frequently his parents are trying to reach US on his phone - if I didn't check the messages and call them back, they would be frustrated and so would I -- my husband travels almost weekly for work and my in-laws cannot handle that we have two separate numbers -- they don't want to have to try two numbers to reach one family. And we wonder why families are broken? We cannot even figure out how to have the same phone number!

Anonymous wrote:Should you have access to all of your DH's e-mail accounts? or is that crazy?

then he should access to all of your accounts too. including to your phone.

crazy is as crazy does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crazy.

Together almost 15 years, no need for each other’s emails or phone passwords. If they’re having an affair, they’ll just find another way.

I did have to ask him to change the handoff setting on his Apple device this week as I ended up with porn her was looking at. Oh well.

Oops. This happened to us too except pornhub appeared on all our devices including the kids'. Ugh!

I don't have time to go through all of my emails let alone anyone else's and can barely keep track of my gazillion passwords so no, I don't want access to DH's stuff, just more work for me.

How does that happen? My family shares an Apple ID and I’ve never had that happen but have certainly worried about it. Must be a setting of some kind.

What? No. I can’t imagine if he said he wanted access to my email or texts. Yes, of course, there’s plenty of stuff for the kids and I’m not having an affair or anything. But, my friends’ lives and problems are none of his business. I think they should be able to speak freely without feeling like I have a shared account.

Anonymous wrote:Crazy.

Together almost 15 years, no need for each other’s emails or phone passwords. If they’re having an affair, they’ll just find another way.

I did have to ask him to change the handoff setting on his Apple device this week as I ended up with porn her was looking at. Oh well.

Oops. This happened to us too except pornhub appeared on all our devices including the kids'. Ugh!

I don't have time to go through all of my emails let alone anyone else's and can barely keep track of my gazillion passwords so no, I don't want access to DH's stuff, just more work for me.

I've never had access nor had an interest in his emails or text messages etc.

Anonymous wrote:We have total access to each other’s emails but rarely use it - occasionally it comes in handy for looking up what time the drywall guy said he’d be there, etc. there’s just nothing too compelling in there from either of us.

Same here except instead of the drywall guy it's usually about one of the kids' sports teams. If he wanted to hide something, all he (or I) would need to do is open a different email account, use that for his 'secret stuff' and continue to use his regular one for the boring stuff.