I mostly reach out with an individualized message to guys I think would be of interest who live within driving distance but not in my city. Most answer back and ask for a picture. I then let them know I work at the college and am trying to keep work / life separate and ask if they are connected to the college. If they say no, I send pictures. I have a line in my profile saying pictures are available so they know I have them to share.

This is great advice.

One of my best friends has well written Match profile he keeps in "Private" mode. He reviews the women in his demographic, and sends a message to the ones with whom he would like to talk. If the email conversation goes well, then they exchange photos or meet in person. The real work is in really reviewing a person's profile and in asking meaningful questions during when contacting someone.

men will answer your initial ad even if it doesn't have a photo. The problem women have in online dating is too many responses, not too few. Just say "I'm fit and attractive [or however attractive you are] but do not wish to post a photo at this time". If you want give your height and weight for more detail.

But as others have said, it is a numbers game so you will have to out yourself to people you don't know and won't get romantically involved with at some point. Don't get weird about it if you want to pursue this means of meeting people.

If you have a dignified, non-sexual ad up just stating that you are single and would like to meet someone and basic shared interests you desire, I really don't think it would cause a problem even if people are trolling you on Twitter or whatever.

From OP's post I think it's a lock that she's a conservative and fears twitter trolling.

Anonymous wrote:It isn't clear to me why you are so uncomfortable with a tasteful picture on a dating web site. You are free to date right? Sexual and emotional companionship is a normal healthy adult desire.
You are acting like someone who is willing to skulk around... which never ends well. It's one reason why homosexuals and transgender folks fought so hard to obtain the same rights and freedoms as heterosexual people. Don't get into the gutter with the bottom feeders. Put a tasteful picture with a tasteful profile and see what happens. If you get hate mail, (and I can't understand why you would) deal with it the way you deal with the hate mail you normally get in the course of your work. Think about why you are willing to give "certain D.C. circles" any power over your romantic life. If one of them sees your picture on a dating site, just tell them "Husband and I are divorced, I am a healthy adult woman, I intend to enjoy a fulfilling physical and emotional relationship". Bonus points if you can say something "just like you have with your (husband, wife, girlfriend) to remind them that you are no different than the person commenting.
Finally, if your job is truly as restrictive as you seem to think, decide if it is still the right job for you. Lots of people change jobs when they realize they'd like to do something that is not possible in a work situation. It's not clear to me if you want to find love around, or if you want a man to provide you with sex, cuddling, taking you out and to patrol the property when you hear or see something that makes you uncomfortable. Note, I don't think you're necessarily wrong to want a man to provide these services, (most women probably do) you just need to date and ideally marry first so he knows you love him for him, and are not looking for a house boy.

It seems to me OP is known in the media (or perhaps her geographic area) for pushing a particular cause or viewpoint. Therefore, she is subject to a degree of online trolling and hate mail. OP is worried more about her personal safety, from what I can infer.

I wouldn't want those people getting access to my dating profile either. They will inevitably take screenshots and post it to Twitter/4chan/Reddit for the usual pillorying and hate-fest.

I am the same OP. I live and work in a college city where most professionals work for the college, or are affiliated in some way with the college, or are friends / family of those who work at the college. It is almost impossible to not date a coworker or friend of a coworker. I don't post a pic because of the curiosity of others and I don't really need people at work knowing about my private life.

I mostly reach out with an individualized message to guys I think would be of interest who live within driving distance but not in my city. Most answer back and ask for a picture. I then let them know I work at the college and am trying to keep work / life separate and ask if they are connected to the college. If they say no, I send pictures. I have a line in my profile saying pictures are available so they know I have them to share.

It isn't clear to me why you are so uncomfortable with a tasteful picture on a dating web site. You are free to date right? Sexual and emotional companionship is a normal healthy adult desire.
You are acting like someone who is willing to skulk around... which never ends well. It's one reason why homosexuals and transgender folks fought so hard to obtain the same rights and freedoms as heterosexual people. Don't get into the gutter with the bottom feeders. Put a tasteful picture with a tasteful profile and see what happens. If you get hate mail, (and I can't understand why you would) deal with it the way you deal with the hate mail you normally get in the course of your work. Think about why you are willing to give "certain D.C. circles" any power over your romantic life. If one of them sees your picture on a dating site, just tell them "Husband and I are divorced, I am a healthy adult woman, I intend to enjoy a fulfilling physical and emotional relationship". Bonus points if you can say something "just like you have with your (husband, wife, girlfriend) to remind them that you are no different than the person commenting.
Finally, if your job is truly as restrictive as you seem to think, decide if it is still the right job for you. Lots of people change jobs when they realize they'd like to do something that is not possible in a work situation. It's not clear to me if you want to find love around, or if you want a man to provide you with sex, cuddling, taking you out and to patrol the property when you hear or see something that makes you uncomfortable. Note, I don't think you're necessarily wrong to want a man to provide these services, (most women probably do) you just need to date and ideally marry first so he knows you love him for him, and are not looking for a house boy.