Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 16:26     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am also married for 9 years and also think about it almost daily. husband keeps promising to treat me better but doesn't.

I don't know if I would be happier divorced. I do not like my husband but I like my kids life job so I'm not willing to lose it. i don't even want sex anymore so that is fine and i sleep in bedroom alone.


Amazed how many couples are staying together in a house but in separate rooms. Don't the kids wise up to that?

Mine haven't yet, they think its because I get up early


It's my bad back. Plus snoring.


It is their norm, it is their norm.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 12:33     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am also married for 9 years and also think about it almost daily. husband keeps promising to treat me better but doesn't.

I don't know if I would be happier divorced. I do not like my husband but I like my kids life job so I'm not willing to lose it. i don't even want sex anymore so that is fine and i sleep in bedroom alone.


Amazed how many couples are staying together in a house but in separate rooms. Don't the kids wise up to that?

Mine haven't yet, they think its because I get up early


It's my bad back. Plus snoring.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 11:48     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Lots. Kind of a, what kind of a house could I afford, would I be able to figure out the TV and internet type of thoughts. How would dating go (because, yes, I'd be dating), what kind of jerks are out there kind of thoughts. Would my internal monologue calm down? Thoughts about never having sex again (no a good thought) but then also never having to have sex with DH again (this isn't a bad thought). Thoughts about how my kids would handle it. THere is so much going on surrounding this subject that I probably couldn't catalog it all.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 11:05     Subject: Re:How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Never. Not one time in 30 years of marriage.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 11:04     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wait until you've been married at least 10 years before you decide, OP.


Why do you say that? Thanks


If you're married 10 years or more, you are entitled to half of his Social Security later (if you're not remarried by then) - https://www.ssa.gov/planners/retire/divspouse.html

It can also affect alimony - https://www.wife.org/ss-benefits-married10years.htm
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 10:08     Subject: Re:How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
24 years in and never
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 10:07     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Wait until you've been married at least 10 years before you decide, OP.


Why do you say that? Thanks
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 10:03     Subject: Re:How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
I thought about it a lot. It took years together before it looked like it was worth growing old together. She had issues.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 09:58     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Wait until you've been married at least 10 years before you decide, OP.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 09:53     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am also married for 9 years and also think about it almost daily. husband keeps promising to treat me better but doesn't.

I don't know if I would be happier divorced. I do not like my husband but I like my kids life job so I'm not willing to lose it. i don't even want sex anymore so that is fine and i sleep in bedroom alone.


Amazed how many couples are staying together in a house but in separate rooms. Don't the kids wise up to that?

Mine haven't yet, they think its because I get up early
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 07:49     Subject: Re:How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Answer: Frequently. We've been married 11 years and together for 13 years. In my opinion, there are things other than "happiness" to consider, which is why I haven't left. We have a 7 and 4 year old which complicates matters deeply. At this point, I'm not sure I (or the kids) would be better off if we separated. I have no family in the area so I'd be struggling balancing work with the kids, which is already hard (I'm an attorney). My kids wouldn't be able to attend the same school because I would no longer be able to afford the neighborhood on one income. Leaving isn't worth it...at least not now. I think this is the way with many marriages. It's not an abusive relationship, or one in which we are mean to each other in front of the kids...I'm just so over him..


this is me.

i even sleep in one room. dh sleeps in basement. kids dont even notice. they will. also an attorney who doesnt want to give up my job nor seeing my kids every day.

my dh is insensitive to the point of being mean -- kids do get that because they will say something but i dont think divorce cures it.


I was married for 19 years. I got married in 1998 and divorced in 2017. I wanted a divorce in 2004, but my kids were young and I waited. I just couldn't figure out how to do it. In retrospect, I probably should have done it at least 5 or 6 years ago. I stayed too long and my kids suffered because of it.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 07:40     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
Anonymous wrote:As in wanting a divorce or being worried my husband wants one? Never.

As a vague fear it might someday happen to us because the divorce rate is high & no one ever thinks it will be them? Occasionally.

Married 11 years; together for 21 years.


Me too. When I make career decisions, I consider the small possibility that we might divorce, based on statistics. So I have to plan to take full financial responsibility of myself.

But other than that, I am 99% sure that we are solid to the core.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2018 07:35     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
As in wanting a divorce or being worried my husband wants one? Never.

As a vague fear it might someday happen to us because the divorce rate is high & no one ever thinks it will be them? Occasionally.

Married 11 years; together for 21 years.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2018 21:34     Subject: How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
once a week for the last two years.
Anonymous
Post 02/15/2018 20:47     Subject: Re:How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?
I am married, and we had some rocky times. But we invested in each other and our marriage, which we made a commitment in front of God and our family to. I think you should try to talk to him, or seek counseling. Maybe an outside perspective will help and give you tips.