A couple weeks ago I went to my father's first wife's funeral with him. Never thought I'd do that, but wanted to support my half-brother. (This is seven years after my own mom died--my parents were still married at the time of her death.) Considering that my dad was 4 years younger than his first wife, I am sure he never thought he'd outlive her.

no

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is not an ex yet but I keep secretly hoping that he will die so I don't have to divorce him.

I was too! God, my ex deserves a long painful death.

I secretly wished this before we were separated.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is not an ex yet but I keep secretly hoping that he will die so I don't have to divorce him.

I secretly hope this too, but then I think that will tie me to the in-laws in perpetuity. So I'd definitely want to formalize the "ex" part of things first.

Yes, I would be extremely sad. He's a great guy and one of my oldest and dearest friends, along with being the father of my oldest child.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is not an ex yet but I keep secretly hoping that he will die so I don't have to divorce him.

I was too! God, my ex deserves a long painful death.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you cry? Attend his funeral? Be sad? What are one's moral obligations under such circumstances? (And I understand circumstaces have a lot to do with it, but I'm curious to know).

I'm waiting. He's been HIV+ for a few years.

Oh wow. Hopefully not while you were together! Is he high risk? I think people can live a full life with the new drugs.

No, I left years ago. Had myself checked twice in ten years just based on what I knew then.

He's lived a high risk lifestyle for years. I wasn't at all surprised when I heard.

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't died another way.

I’m the pp who asked and boy do I get it. Now I probably would not be sad (for myself, maybe a little for my kids) but the death of who he was and who he was to me happened a long time ago. It is incredibly painful to watch someone kill themselves with poor choices.

Agree with "the death of who he was happened a long time ago". We split up because the lies he told me and continued to tell me even in therapy were so deep that it became clear the person I loved never really existed. Whatever it was that I lost is something that I mourned over 15 years ago. I would be relieved not to have any contact with him today. I often fantasize about the moment when the kids are old enough that I can just cut him out of my life, even though I know, intellectually, there will be things that keep us connected - births, weddings, graduations, etc.

If I am sad at all when he dies, it will be for my kids, although they, as teenagers, have already begun the work of mourning what they lost - the father they wish they had rather than the one they do.

Mine is not an ex yet but I keep secretly hoping that he will die so I don't have to divorce him.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't even know. We divorced 20 years ago and had no children. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 20 years.

He lives just over the bridge. You could probably go see him. Still no kids. He was wondering about you, too. Not enough to look you up, but, just curious.

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I think of it often.

This. I would dance a jig.

I would be sad if my ex-husband died and the dry cleaner lost my favorite red dress so I wouldn't be able to wear it to his funeral.

nope.

My ex would be very sad because the day I die the day her cash flow dries up. So, it's something i look forward to.

I would be sad because even though the marriage didn't work out, I did love him once and there are some things that we experienced in our relationship that neither of us ever will experience with anyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you cry? Attend his funeral? Be sad? What are one's moral obligations under such circumstances? (And I understand circumstaces have a lot to do with it, but I'm curious to know).

I'm waiting. He's been HIV+ for a few years.

Oh wow. Hopefully not while you were together! Is he high risk? I think people can live a full life with the new drugs.

No, I left years ago. Had myself checked twice in ten years just based on what I knew then.

He's lived a high risk lifestyle for years. I wasn't at all surprised when I heard.

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't died another way.

I’m the pp who asked and boy do I get it. Now I probably would not be sad (for myself, maybe a little for my kids) but the death of who he was and who he was to me happened a long time ago. It is incredibly painful to watch someone kill themselves with poor choices.