OP here. I honestly don't know what to do. He is looking at apartments and wants to move about an hour away from where we are now. Our apartment costs $2000 per month plus a couple hundred in utilities. He reluctantly agreed to give me this money until the end of the school year (so, a little better than $1200).
I have $4500 in savings, about $500/mo worth of random jobs, and a temporary part time job lined up to start end of February. I don't know yet how many hours I will be able to score there; if I am lucky I will earn maybe $2000 for the duration of the job (which together with the side jobs should pay my utility bills and groceries).
Initially the plan was to have some flexible part time work while looking for a better job (I have an ok resume, just with a gap filled by volunteering). But now I guess I need to get a job in retail or anything I can get, pretty much.
My child was born and grew up here, elementary school age. If worse comes to worst we can of course go back to my home country, but it will be a huge change for both of us.
I am thinking of middle of the road solutions such as renting a room, or moving to a remote area (but I think this would mean no job prospects).

The US government won't pay for you just because you don't want to endanger your green card application by enforcing child support payments. Of course, your DH is awful...It looks like you will have to lower your living standards dramatically for a while. Your kid will be fine!

In General, to qualify for assistance, you have to be low income. Low income qualifications don’t include child support in determining some benefits, others it does. Usually the threshold is really low - below the poverty line, think $15k a year to get housing, food, medical, meager cash assistance. And that is simply to live impoverished. While you’ll take a financial hit in the process of your divorce, it’s the nature of how these things work and we all go through it in one form or another in most cases. Not sure how your immigration status complicates matters further. But I’m inclined to think from what you’ve shared here that you’re better off with the agreement of what he is providing and supplementing where you can, reducing your living expenses, downsizing, etc will be the better financial and personal choice in the long run.

I call TROLL.

If you're serious OP, understand that just because he paid taxes for years does not mean you are entitled to anything. You're in a crappy situation, I can sympathize, but life is not going to be easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is this real? You've been living here and not working, and you think you qualify for government benefits? Those benefits are for people who are actually poor, not for someone like you who is getting $1200 a month from their ex. Check out the income requirements: https://mydss.mo.gov/food-assistance/food-stamp-program/income-limits. Again, how dare you? You have paid no taxes, and you think you are entitled to benefits? Even people in this country who are fairly poor can't get them, they are for people who are in legitimate poverty, not for a rich foreign woman like you to subsidize her lifestyle after a divorce. Why don't you go back to your home country and see what your own government will do for you?

Husband paid more taxes than you probably.

What's your point? He's been driving on federally funded highways, there's local police/firefighters and he's routinely using infrastructure.

And no, he definitely doesn't pay more in taxes than me.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is this real? You've been living here and not working, and you think you qualify for government benefits? Those benefits are for people who are actually poor, not for someone like you who is getting $1200 a month from their ex. Check out the income requirements: https://mydss.mo.gov/food-assistance/food-stamp-program/income-limits. Again, how dare you? You have paid no taxes, and you think you are entitled to benefits? Even people in this country who are fairly poor can't get them, they are for people who are in legitimate poverty, not for a rich foreign woman like you to subsidize her lifestyle after a divorce. Why don't you go back to your home country and see what your own government will do for you?

Husband paid more taxes than you probably.

OP, as a fellow immigrant, you have to decide what you want more:

a. A green card.

b. Or, the max amount of $$ you can get from your ex.

It seems that you understand that filing for divorce now may mess up your green card application. If you want the green card more, I suggest you reach an amicable agreement with your husband to plug away until you get your green card. You can always file for divorce later.

If you don't care about the green card, go ahead and file for divorce now and ask for maximum allowed by law. Understand that in this case, your days in this country may be numbered, and you may have to return to your country of origin. Understand that you may have to do so without your child. You say your ex doesn't care if you go, but he can change his mind at any time, and the courts here will side with him, not you.

I am sorry you are in this situation. It's not the best. But you have to do what you have to do because you are not in a position to indulge your emotions right now. If you don't have a green card, you qualify for nothing. Your child, if a US citizen and below a certain income limit, may qualify for some food assistance or free lunch or medical, but that's about it.

You may be able to move into a rent control apartment based on your income. Here's info on Montgomery county. (I don't know where you live).

http://www.hocmc.org/images/files/ResourceDocs/Affordable-Housing-Guide-January2016.pdf

https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/DHCA/housing/singlefamily/mpdu/programrental.html

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he moves out, file for child support. The state will determine the amount he pays and take it out of his paycheck automatically. Under this scenario you wouldn’t need government assistance.

NP here and while OP did not say what state she is in $1,200 a month seems like it is in the ballpark for that level of income, some form of shared custody and what sounds like one child. It's very easy to run the guideline calculations for yourself OP based upon what state you are in. You described what he is paying as the "minimum" so I assume that is the guidelines amount.

You can certainly file for government assistance (TANF, etc.) and see if you qualify based upon your income.

If you are employed, you will not qualify for TANF, you may qualify for food assistance or health insurance for your children, but even those eligibility rates are low. Also, states make a big effort to recoup child support because they do not want to provide assistance to people who have income (as is the case with your ex-husband).

You do realize that $1200 x 12 is $28800, more than poverty level in the US and more than minimum wage jobs pay. What assistance do you want then? There are people living on much less.

OP, is this real? You've been living here and not working, and you think you qualify for government benefits? Those benefits are for people who are actually poor, not for someone like you who is getting $1200 a month from their ex. Check out the income requirements: https://mydss.mo.gov/food-assistance/food-stamp-program/income-limits. Again, how dare you? You have paid no taxes, and you think you are entitled to benefits? Even people in this country who are fairly poor can't get them, they are for people who are in legitimate poverty, not for a rich foreign woman like you to subsidize her lifestyle after a divorce. Why don't you go back to your home country and see what your own government will do for you?

Op, you need a lawyer, not DCUM. In today's climate for immigration, where well-established residents are being deported for minor offenses, I'd be very cautious about possibly applying for support in error. Get an immigration lawyer.

OP, you said he wouldn't care if you returned to your home country with your child. Can you do that? Do you have family/friend support there? Job connections?

Anonymous wrote:To the people who say to file for legal separation.....there is NO such thing in Virginia. Not sure about the other states or where OP is from, but it may not be an option.

You can still file for child support and spousal support at the JDR court in VA.

To the people who say to file for legal separation.....there is NO such thing in Virginia. Not sure about the other states or where OP is from, but it may not be an option.