Anonymous wrote:Good for you for having consequences and sticking with it. After a good night's sleep, if she is still having a tantrum, I would let her know that the phone ban will continue another 24 hours if she can't calm down about it.

Anonymous wrote:On Snapchat, she is likely upset that she will break all her streaks of replying to friends. (I had to roll my eyes when I learned about this from my DC, who at the time had ~20 streaks longer than 6 months with various friends.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

to be fair, when I was teen I talked on the phone for hours and sometimes my mom would tell me that I had been on the phone for 3 or 4 hours and I would say "really???" It never seemed like that long and I am sure that I talked to midnight and later at times.

But there wasn't a screen with a clock on your phone. OP's daughter knew exactly what time it was and waited until her parents were distracted to use her phone after 11:00 pm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the offense directly related to the phone? If not, not sure why you would confiscate the phone.

NP We have rules in our house that, if not followed, result in our kids losing their phones. The rules are not directly related to phone use. A phone is a privilege that must be earned. Not meeting certain behavioral expectations, which may or may not be directly related to the phone, results in lost privileges.

That makes zero sense. Try better tying consequences to behavior.

NP. It makes perfect sense, except to parenting flakes who believe that everything should relate to "natural consequences."

I agree with PP. A phone is a privilege. It is the one carrot that I can hold over my kids' heads that I know will have an impact on them. Losing it can be tied to any form of misbehavior.

The next time you get a speeding ticket, the police should come to your house and confiscate your flat screen TV.

Anonymous wrote:
The next time you get a speeding ticket, the police should come to your house and confiscate your flat screen TV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the offense directly related to the phone? If not, not sure why you would confiscate the phone.

NP We have rules in our house that, if not followed, result in our kids losing their phones. The rules are not directly related to phone use. A phone is a privilege that must be earned. Not meeting certain behavioral expectations, which may or may not be directly related to the phone, results in lost privileges.

That makes zero sense. Try better tying consequences to behavior.

NP. It makes perfect sense, except to parenting flakes who believe that everything should relate to "natural consequences."

I agree with PP. A phone is a privilege. It is the one carrot that I can hold over my kids' heads that I know will have an impact on them. Losing it can be tied to any form of misbehavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

to be fair, when I was teen I talked on the phone for hours and sometimes my mom would tell me that I had been on the phone for 3 or 4 hours and I would say "really???" It never seemed like that long and I am sure that I talked to midnight and later at times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

Good for you, op. She will now learn to be more aware of her time.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)