Mine are useless—players of favorites, jealous, cheap. I suck it up and give thanks for each other day I don’t have to see them.

I keep in-law relationship as a business one, minimal physical contact as possible, and we normally meet only on special occasions & holidays & birthdays. Mil has done some devastating action to my first pregnancy right after we lost the baby ( my parents will never forgive what mil has done to me, their only & beloved daughter), and she treats unfairly to my toddler grandson (she loves her the other toddler granddaughter (dh's older brother's daughter) that she helps out as a nanny since day one). I mean life is never fair, dh's older brother & family is her favorite. It causes both me & dh pain with tears , so better keep it a harmony by keeping a certain distance.

I remember that one day, I will be the mother in law. As a mom of two boys, this helps me to recenter myself and how I am behaving on my end - and importantly I consider how my sons see me behaving towards my MIL.

I lost my grandparents about a decade ago and I miss them dearly. Whenever my MIL annoys me, I think of my grandparents and how much I want my young children to develop that close and loving relationship. Then I refocus my efforts on facilitating the relationship between my children and DH's mom who loves them dearly if in her own quirky way.

Marry an orphan.

I treat the relationship like a business one. As if I love my job and don't want to leave, but there are some crazy people to deal with. I am polite and probably a bit distant. I laugh at their bad jokes and listen quietly to political rants.

I only speak up when it directly affects the health and safety and well being of my children, because that absolutely comes first. I speak up in the moment, but leave the continued conversation to dh to deal with so I don't dig a deeper hole.

I also step up when I can easily do so...like helping run an errand - I look like I'm helping but I get to escape for a bit. Everyone wins.

I love my in laws. I bring a book or something to do, and we play games or I read and do some work. My mother in law and I gossip sometimes, or we go swimming. I don't stress it.