Anonymous
Post 01/15/2018 05:18     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Is he not allowed to shut his room door? I don't understand how the dog gets his food stash. Is the dog starved too?
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2018 04:10     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a space for where he can ut his snacks that the dog can't get into.

If he can't comply with that then he loses the snack money privilege.


I don’t want them in the house all the time. If he wants to buy a candy bar after school and eat it before he comes home, I do not care. But I don’t want a box of candy bars hanging out in the pantry. Hell, if he’s at home on the weekend and feels the need for a candy bar and wants to ride his bike somewhere to buy one, I don’t care. I fundamentally believe that when junk food is constantly accessible, people will eat more of it than they otherwise would. If you have to go buy it every time, you’ll eat less of it.


Ok. Keep doing what you’re doing. Your kid is well on his way to an eating disorder and learning how much nicer you are to him when he lies to you. Excellent parenting.


Actually, he’s only in trouble for the hiding/sneaking/dishonesty. We had nice and hopefully productive talk this evening about the issue, and I’m hopeful that it’s resolved. I’ve been surprised by the responses here because I just can’t see how this approach I’ve laid out is particularly restrictive. If I said I expected my kid to spend 80% of his weekend doing something other than video games and limit video game play to 20%, I doubt I’d get this kind of pushback. But where we’re talking about the consumption of junk food, something we likely all agree is unhealthy, I apparently can’t reasonably expect anything other than sneaky, dishonest behavior. Odd.


Studies show that punishing kids for lying/deception (which is basically what you’re doing) doesn’t help and only makes things worse. It teaches them to be better liars, not to be more open and honest and have good relationships with their parents. Clearly, you don’t believe in other people’s experiences with food restrictive parents, so I doubt you’ll believe in science, but that’s what studies show.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 22:39     Subject: DS hiding food again!
OP, the reason someone called you a troll is because your attitude is not normal. You posted because you are concerned. If you truly care so much, take some of the responses to heart instead of getting defensive and becoming more entrenched in your position. Your way isn't working. Plus, it's odd enough that you seem like a parody of an over-restrictive parent. If you aren't willing to do enough self-reflection to find a middle ground, I feel sorry for your kid.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 22:13     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:I would take him to the grocery store and let him pick all the junk food he wants and have him eat it all in one day and finish it all. He will most likely feel sick and never want to touch it again.


Who are you talking about here, a 5-year-old or a 7th-grader? Geez.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 22:05     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a space for where he can ut his snacks that the dog can't get into.

If he can't comply with that then he loses the snack money privilege.


I don’t want them in the house all the time. If he wants to buy a candy bar after school and eat it before he comes home, I do not care. But I don’t want a box of candy bars hanging out in the pantry. Hell, if he’s at home on the weekend and feels the need for a candy bar and wants to ride his bike somewhere to buy one, I don’t care. I fundamentally believe that when junk food is constantly accessible, people will eat more of it than they otherwise would. If you have to go buy it every time, you’ll eat less of it.


Ok. Keep doing what you’re doing. Your kid is well on his way to an eating disorder and learning how much nicer you are to him when he lies to you. Excellent parenting.


+1

Your approach isn't working. You have time to fix it, though. Is the junk food ban for you or him?

What happens if there is a bag of Oreo's in the pantry?


The only thing I have to keep out of the house for my sake is potato chips. I would likely throw away a bag of Oreos but would respect a bag of homemade cookies.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 22:01     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a space for where he can ut his snacks that the dog can't get into.

If he can't comply with that then he loses the snack money privilege.


I don’t want them in the house all the time. If he wants to buy a candy bar after school and eat it before he comes home, I do not care. But I don’t want a box of candy bars hanging out in the pantry. Hell, if he’s at home on the weekend and feels the need for a candy bar and wants to ride his bike somewhere to buy one, I don’t care. I fundamentally believe that when junk food is constantly accessible, people will eat more of it than they otherwise would. If you have to go buy it every time, you’ll eat less of it.


Ok. Keep doing what you’re doing. Your kid is well on his way to an eating disorder and learning how much nicer you are to him when he lies to you. Excellent parenting.


Actually, he’s only in trouble for the hiding/sneaking/dishonesty. We had nice and hopefully productive talk this evening about the issue, and I’m hopeful that it’s resolved. I’ve been surprised by the responses here because I just can’t see how this approach I’ve laid out is particularly restrictive. If I said I expected my kid to spend 80% of his weekend doing something other than video games and limit video game play to 20%, I doubt I’d get this kind of pushback. But where we’re talking about the consumption of junk food, something we likely all agree is unhealthy, I apparently can’t reasonably expect anything other than sneaky, dishonest behavior. Odd.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 18:29     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:This is Psychology 101. If you treat food like a forbidden fruit, then your child will want it even more.

Making food a big deal is a recipe for problems. Aim for everything in moderation. If you do not, he will go off to college someday and hit the college cafeteria hard. Every roommate I had from a food-restricted, calorie-counting mom household in college -- I had a few -- just went NUTS for months eating everything in sight. One had Bulimia, and as soon as I met her extremely food-restrictive mother I immediately understood why.

Please change your ways before it's too late, OP.


Yup. My mom was like OP. I hid food, developed a horrible relationship with food, and then struggled with bulimia for 20 years. I met a lot of people in various stages of my eating disorder who came from families with parents like OP. But I also understand OP doesn't want to hear that so there is really nothing that can be done. It's quite obvious that ops system isn't working, but some parents are so stubborn and stuck on being "right" that they choose that option over what's best for their kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 18:24     Subject: DS hiding food again!
This is Psychology 101. If you treat food like a forbidden fruit, then your child will want it even more.

Making food a big deal is a recipe for problems. Aim for everything in moderation. If you do not, he will go off to college someday and hit the college cafeteria hard. Every roommate I had from a food-restricted, calorie-counting mom household in college -- I had a few -- just went NUTS for months eating everything in sight. One had Bulimia, and as soon as I met her extremely food-restrictive mother I immediately understood why.

Please change your ways before it's too late, OP.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 18:19     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a space for where he can ut his snacks that the dog can't get into.

If he can't comply with that then he loses the snack money privilege.


I don’t want them in the house all the time. If he wants to buy a candy bar after school and eat it before he comes home, I do not care. But I don’t want a box of candy bars hanging out in the pantry. Hell, if he’s at home on the weekend and feels the need for a candy bar and wants to ride his bike somewhere to buy one, I don’t care. I fundamentally believe that when junk food is constantly accessible, people will eat more of it than they otherwise would. If you have to go buy it every time, you’ll eat less of it.


Ok. Keep doing what you’re doing. Your kid is well on his way to an eating disorder and learning how much nicer you are to him when he lies to you. Excellent parenting.


+1

Your approach isn't working. You have time to fix it, though. Is the junk food ban for you or him?

What happens if there is a bag of Oreo's in the pantry?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 18:05     Subject: DS hiding food again!
How will keeping food in a bedroom drawer attract more vermin than a kitchen? What’s the difference?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 18:04     Subject: Re:DS hiding food again!
OP you clearly don't want to obvious solution, which is to stop controlling what he eats...so not sure what you are looking for.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 18:00     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I discovered DS hiding food again today, despite having gotten into trouble for it on numerous prior occasions. I’m freaked out because doing sneaky things with food seems like a one way ticket to an eating disorder. Has anyone successfully dealt with this?


I think your confused about causation-sneaking food does not lead to disordered eating. However, living in a situation where your food choices are controlled, restricted, and judged/living with a caregiver who exhibits disordered eating (orthorexia) can contribute to disordered eating.


This. He will food binge when he gets away from home, since OP is encouraging him to behave this way. It would be better if he would figure out a way to lock the food up in his room in a dog safe spot.
And, when he finally leaves home he will binge non-stop. How do I know this? It happened to me. Took a long time to get my eating under control.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 16:42     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:I discovered DS hiding food again today, despite having gotten into trouble for it on numerous prior occasions. I’m freaked out because doing sneaky things with food seems like a one way ticket to an eating disorder. Has anyone successfully dealt with this?


I think your confused about causation-sneaking food does not lead to disordered eating. However, living in a situation where your food choices are controlled, restricted, and judged/living with a caregiver who exhibits disordered eating (orthorexia) can contribute to disordered eating.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 16:42     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a space for where he can ut his snacks that the dog can't get into.

If he can't comply with that then he loses the snack money privilege.


I don’t want them in the house all the time. If he wants to buy a candy bar after school and eat it before he comes home, I do not care. But I don’t want a box of candy bars hanging out in the pantry. Hell, if he’s at home on the weekend and feels the need for a candy bar and wants to ride his bike somewhere to buy one, I don’t care. I fundamentally believe that when junk food is constantly accessible, people will eat more of it than they otherwise would. If you have to go buy it every time, you’ll eat less of it.


Ok. Keep doing what you’re doing. Your kid is well on his way to an eating disorder and learning how much nicer you are to him when he lies to you. Excellent parenting.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2018 15:45     Subject: DS hiding food again!
Anonymous wrote:Give him a space for where he can ut his snacks that the dog can't get into.

If he can't comply with that then he loses the snack money privilege.


I don’t want them in the house all the time. If he wants to buy a candy bar after school and eat it before he comes home, I do not care. But I don’t want a box of candy bars hanging out in the pantry. Hell, if he’s at home on the weekend and feels the need for a candy bar and wants to ride his bike somewhere to buy one, I don’t care. I fundamentally believe that when junk food is constantly accessible, people will eat more of it than they otherwise would. If you have to go buy it every time, you’ll eat less of it.