Anonymous
Post 01/06/2018 19:08     Subject: childish reaction I just need to confess somewhere
I can relate to having feelings that you know aren’t ideal, but just can’t help.

My dad and I are not that close, he wasn’t very involved when I was a kid and as an adult I admittedly haven't made much of an effort to grow our relationship either. Nevertheless, he got remarried and I find myself feeling jealous of all the time he spends with his new wife’s kids (they all live near eachother, but far away from me).

I try to just accept my feelings and I also try to be happy for my dad that he has people around.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2018 15:07     Subject: childish reaction I just need to confess somewhere
Anonymous wrote:I call my sorority sisters “sister”. It means nothing.
She will likely call her MIL/FIL”mom” and “dad” too. I think it’s great. So many people hate their in laws. She know them for 3 years and loves them. They are off to a great start.


My SILs call my mom 'mom' and it feels weird to me every time I hear it (and this has been going on for 10+ years, so I should be used to it). My childish reaction is 'she's my mom not yours!' This is despite the fact I grew up where my mom called her MIL mom, I really like my SILs, and I really like my own MIL.

I guess my point is we sometimes have unreasonable reactions to things. That's ok, but OP should not say anything to her sister.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2018 10:30     Subject: Re:childish reaction I just need to confess somewhere
Give it time. Truly happy relationships don’t need PR campaigns on FB.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2018 10:15     Subject: childish reaction I just need to confess somewhere
Anonymous wrote:OP I think your emotional reaction is totally understandable. Your sister is one of your best friends and you cherish that relationship. You are worried that her relationships with her soon to be SILs will diminish your relationship with her. That's not an unreasonable fear; she will probably spend more of her holidays and free time with her husband's family than she does now, and it may take more work to sustain your relationship.

I don't think it's really about her calling them "sisters," that is more just the symbol of what you are worried about.

If I were you I would talk to your sister about this. I wouldn't do it in an accusatory way and would not bring up the "calling them sisters" thing, but would say that you are so happy for her but you cherish her as your sister very much and have some fear that you two will become less close as she becomes more part of her husband's family. You could say you hope you continue talking on the phone every week or seeing each other every summer or whatever it is you do now to remain close.

This way you're not saying anything negative about her new family members, but just telling her how important she is to you and that you want to be conscious to maintain that.


Don't do this OP, don't talk to her about this. any talk would just make thing awkward and May in fact backfire. you need to just wait this period out and see how things develop organically.