This story is not adding up to me. If you have this type of animosity towards your father, why would you ever send your child across the country alone to stay with him? You obviously don't trust your father, as you trust the word of a 12 year old over him. Why would you ever put your child or your father in that situation? I am not saying what happened was acceptable, however, it really sounds like there is more to the story than you are saying or that you know.

I have a 12 year son too. I would be on the next plane.

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and I got smacked plenty. I really don’t think it’s a big deal and sometimes it’s deserved. I recognize most helicopter, liberal DCUM parents will not agree, but that’s why your kids are little jerks.

I don't suppose you know what the word "irony" means, do you?

Lol.

Well, it is not ok. But, I do remember when I was about that age, that my grandpa smacked me, more of a beating really. This was long ago, but I totally deserved it. I was throwing a fit and literary kicking my grandpa. Honestly he didn't give it as good as he should have. I never held a grudge and even now, I remember grandpa fondly. He loved me, and I loved him. This never impacted our relationship. But, no it is not ok to hit a kid. Was your kid acting like me, and possibly hitting grandpa? In that case only, I could justify grandpa's actions. Though, if that was the case and I was grandpa in question, I would have sent the brat back to you on the first plane out.

I’m white and I got smacked plenty. I really don’t think it’s a big deal and sometimes it’s deserved. I recognize most helicopter, liberal DCUM parents will not agree, but that’s why your kids are little jerks.

You have to demonstrate to your son that you trust him, or he won't continue to tell you things. You can work on the relationship with your dad later, but you need to save the relationship with your son now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be on the next plane.

Was he violent with you growing up?

Yes, which is why I believe my son and not my dad who called him a liar.

Why in the world did you allow your son to go solo?

Go get him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

I was a poor white kid who had parents with high school diplomas. I got hit plenty and sometimes got welts. Flyswatters, belts, slaps...

I was a middle class white kid whose parents had a masters degree and PhD, respectively. I got hit plenty (slaps, hairbrushes, whatever was laying around, etc.)

OP needs to get her child out of there. I like the idea of booking the next plane home for him.

Anonymous wrote:I'd get my son out of there. But your son is old enough to fly unaccompanied minor. I'd call him a taxi or Uber and get him on a plane. Cancel the visit with your dad.

I would think you could orchestrate a return flight from home. Maybe use task rabbit to get him to the airport and checked in for the flight.

I have a 13yo and I'd be on the first plane. It's actually a scarier situation because your son is old enough to react in ways that could seriously escalate the situation (running away or hitting back.) Get out there now, and get your child out of that house. That goes double since you and your sister both acknowledge that your father is not up to doing this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

I was a poor white kid who had parents with high school diplomas. I got hit plenty and sometimes got welts. Flyswatters, belts, slaps...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to but I know no one there. My sister is 3 hours away. I could ask her but when I told her what happened, she said that dad had told her another story ("they were playing and he got hurt"). She also told me (which is true and I'm feeling very guilty) that I knew my dad was too old to handle watching a kid. I dismissed my fears because DS can really take care of himself but this was a huge mistake.

Mistakes happen. I'd head out there early if you can. The part where dad's telling different people different things would be very concerning to me. Clearly somethings not right.

It's hard to admit to yourself that your parents are getting older and sometimes it takes something major to get over the hump of disbelief.

The punishment for telling you what happened is, to me, the most disturbing part. But hitting is not good. What exactly happened? I wouldn’t put the six-hour travel burden on your sister. If you want your son out of there, you should go get him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

Exactly what I meant. Only white people would think what the OP described is taboo.

I am black and believe what OP's dad did is beyond crazy (and that OP has extremely poor judgment for even letting this happen the first place).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

Exactly what I meant. Only white people would think what the OP described is taboo.

OH sure, in families of color it's completely copacetic to smack a kid around, lie to his mother, make up another cover story to the aunt, withhold food to the kid and hold him prisoner on the couch. That's how we roll. Michelle Obama taught that style of parenting. OP needs to relax and work on her hair do.