Anonymous wrote:Having a man badger me to have another baby would make me angry. It's fine to express that he wants another child, and that he's hopeful that you'd like to give him one, and that he looks forward to the time you'll be ready. Anything more is selfish entitlement and taking for granted the huge sacrifices a woman makes in the process.

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Anonymous wrote:First, this should all have been discussed before getting married. Nothing more important then agreeing on kids. Second, I would also consider the problems with spacing out your 3 kids ages. In the long run you'll be much happier to have the third child closer in age to the second one.

I also have 3 kids and wouldn't have done it any differently.

You can “discuss” stuff like this before getting married, but those discussions are certainly not binding. If she’s not ready to have another baby right now, she’s not ready. If she thought she would be and has since changed her mind based on whatever, it would be absurd and cruel to insist that #3 happen now because “she agreed.”

I also don’t know what you mean by problems with spacing. Plenty of people have kids more than 3 years apart without problems.

+1. I thought I wanted 3 kids, one right after the other. After actually having a kid, I know it'll be years before I'm physically and mentally ready for #2, and no way am I doing #3. DH isn't thrilled, but he's not the one who has to deal with pregnancy, childbirth, and the impact of another kid on his career.

+1. You can't discuss before marriage! Because who knows? I didn't want children and after having them, we're in love with them and had 3 2 years apart. You really don't know what you want until you're there.

+2. I had a breakdown on my 35th birthday (about six months after we were married) because I knew DH wanted children and I just didn't. Then I agreed to 1, and now we have 4 and I love it. You just don't know until you live it.

You most definitely should discuss children before marriage. Doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind but you are bringing someone into the world together - pretty serious stuff.

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The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

This. This is always the answer.

You're missing the point entirely. It's not a more kids or not thing, it's a timing thing

Still, two is enough.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not ready yet. We have 2 kids ages 2 and 7. In comparison to my friends I had easy pregnancies and newborns and even now they are easy going. The thing is though I feel like I'm finally getting my life back. Our youngest will be 3 in March , and DH is already talking about a 3rd. I'm fairly certain I would like a third child, but not now. I'd rather wait another two or 3 years. I'm 33 so not young, but not old. I do realize fertility declines with age and while a third would be nice I think I'd be okay with two.
DH however is non stop baby talk. He's not pushy or rude about it, but I'm starting to feel annoyed.

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Anonymous wrote:First, this should all have been discussed before getting married. Nothing more important then agreeing on kids. Second, I would also consider the problems with spacing out your 3 kids ages. In the long run you'll be much happier to have the third child closer in age to the second one.

I also have 3 kids and wouldn't have done it any differently.

You can “discuss” stuff like this before getting married, but those discussions are certainly not binding. If she’s not ready to have another baby right now, she’s not ready. If she thought she would be and has since changed her mind based on whatever, it would be absurd and cruel to insist that #3 happen now because “she agreed.”

I also don’t know what you mean by problems with spacing. Plenty of people have kids more than 3 years apart without problems.

+1. I thought I wanted 3 kids, one right after the other. After actually having a kid, I know it'll be years before I'm physically and mentally ready for #2, and no way am I doing #3. DH isn't thrilled, but he's not the one who has to deal with pregnancy, childbirth, and the impact of another kid on his career.

+1. You can't discuss before marriage! Because who knows? I didn't want children and after having them, we're in love with them and had 3 2 years apart. You really don't know what you want until you're there.

+2. I had a breakdown on my 35th birthday (about six months after we were married) because I knew DH wanted children and I just didn't. Then I agreed to 1, and now we have 4 and I love it. You just don't know until you live it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

This. This is always the answer.

You're missing the point entirely. It's not a more kids or not thing, it's a timing thing

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Anonymous wrote:If you definitely want a third, seriously consider having one now. You are starting to get your life back now and don’t want to get back into baby stuff, but that will seem even more daunting the further out you get. You won’t want to go back to newborn any more in 2-3 years.

If you are undecided on having another baby, then don’t do it until you’re sure. If that day never comes, the so be it.

I agree on this. If you ever want to have a chance of getting to travel and do fun activities as a family, sooner is better. Otherwise you're thrown right ack into the baby stage and start all over again when the oldest is 9/10 and beyond

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The one who doesn't want more kids always wins.

This. This is always the answer.