Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op here, thank you! Very useful resources. I am meeting with the school early next week, hoping they will have some plan of action. A parent told me that the kid who has been bullying my kid is in detention during lunch and recess.
I understand the school won’t be able to share with me any measure related to the other kid (such as a detention). Can the school share with the bully and his family the name of the kid who has complained? Does my DC have a right also to keep his complain privately? He thinks the other kid may retaliate against him.

Thanks again for all the amazing help.

Schools cannot share information on the victim with bully or their parents. They must protect targets from retaliation. Anyone who sees bullying could have reported it. It is unlikely your child is the first or only to report an incident.

Be sure you fully understand the policies and procedures. Don't be afraid to ask questions. It sounds like the school hasn't done a great job of explaining how they handle student safety.

A basic approach is safety in numbers. Make sure your child has someone with them as much as possible.

Don't leave the meeting without a clear action plan. Write on paper if necessary and ask them to copy it for you right there.

You're a great parent of a great kid!

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Thank you. The school called the other parents’s kid and told them who has complained. Can I do anything beyond being upset?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a 5th grader moved to a new school in Fairfax county. Within a few weeks I had a bully. My mom tried to get the school to do something about it but the bully just more mad. So one day the bully as usual, began to was shove and taunt me. Decided I would try something more than avoiding and ignoring so I punched him as hard as i could, knocked him to the ground and kicked him around until administrators came. Did this in front of entire class at recess. I was suspended for a week. My mom was livid that I did this and warned me that afternoon that my dad would punish me severely. Dad came home asked what happened and ordered me a pizza (My favorite). All bullying stopped and it became easier to make friends. One of the best lessons my very imperfect dad taught me.

So basically, you're the kid in the Christmas Story? Nice to meet you.

But that was what, 30 or 40 years ago? Times have changed. There's much more awareness of the impact of bullying in schools now, and far more potential liability for admins who sit on their hands in the face of hard evidence of bullying. Collect witnesses through your kid - names, times, places...document.

Hope you follow the process assertively, persevere, maybe enroll the kid in martial arts to boost confidence. Not OK for admins to ignore your concerns. Good luck.

The great part of the story is that your dad understood and empathized with you. It's not the punching that was the great lesson-- it's supporting your kid when he's down and empathizing with him unexpectedly.