Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Nah, it ain't about the drama. It's about the lack of hotness. If I'm not attracted to her, I'm not going to pretend I like her (or am interested in her stupid career, musical tastes, or other interests) just to get sex. If she's hot enough, then yeah I will. At least until the fruit is plucked...

Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

Anonymous wrote:He might not believe you want "just sex"

+1

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Straight and verile guy here - I think the point about "drama" has its merits for sure. In addition, some guys just aren't assholes, don't just see women as a notch in the belt (among other euphemisms one can use here) and actually respect women. I've never been one to feign interest just to sleep with women. I have had short-term relationships/flings where it was just sex, but it was pretty clear that both of us wanted that and nothing more. When I am seriously dating, I say that - I say that so a) I can weed out women who aren't in the same place that I am and b) to send a clear signal to a woman that I'm not in any rush to get her into bed (though it never really took too long for that to happen anyway). I have always been clear about what I wanted and left no ambiguity to be deciphered.

What I don't get is when women say they need an emotional connection but their own past history contradicts that. Just be upfront about what you want and stop making up excuses.

I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Geez I bet it would be really, really hard to find some other man who was interested in occasional no-strings-attached sex. Pity the poor OP.

Keep in mind that men now have access to endless varieties of instant, free porn, fleshlights, dolls, toys, virtual reality headsets, even robots, etc. I can see where he might just be OK with that for casual sex. Honestly, we could be heading to an age where men basically don't bother with women unless they are looking for an LTR.

Dealing with a woman always means a risk of some kind of drama, even if she insists that she's cool with it being totally no-strings-attached.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?

Body, d***, know how etc

Dayum! He's probably got other exes lined up who would like an fwb arrangement with him.

Yes I know! I'm more sad about losing the sex than the relationship.

How big was he?

Did you dump him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?

Body, d***, know how etc

Dayum! He's probably got other exes lined up who would like an fwb arrangement with him.

Yes I know! I'm more sad about losing the sex than the relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?

Body, d***, know how etc

Dayum! He's probably got other exes lined up who would like an fwb arrangement with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?

Body, d***, know how etc

Oh, did he have a big one?

Yes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?

Body, d***, know how etc

Oh, did he have a big one?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?

Body, d***, know how etc

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have any pride or self esteem? Was he the only man that you could get?

Sex is easy to find. Good sex less so. Good sex with someone you know and trust? Even more rare.

What about him makes the sex good?