Anonymous
11/21/2017 10:10
Subject: Keeps getting in touch.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yeah, you need to do a slow fade on him. Stop being so available to take these texts and reply. You suggested dinner and he was busy. Maybe legit but he hasn't asked you out since then? Yeah, sorry, but this just isn't happening and he is likely shopping around while trying to keep you on a string.
Next time he texts, don't answer until the next morning and do not reply to anything he said in text. Just explain you were too busy to reply because you were out for the evening. If he inquires, just say you had a wonderful time at dinner, and after.
This is "playing games." When one does it, the other follows. Don't start something like this because, if it turns out he was legitimately busy, you don't want this type of bullshit to become the way you communicate/manipulate each other. It could be that he's keeping in touch because he actually likes you, but is too busy to make plans. I mean, yes it's been two weeks, but only one weekend where you didn't see each other. I'd give it another week and, unless he suggests plans, respond to one of his "hi" texts with something upfront- either asking him out again or something along the lines of "Would love to hang out again, but you seem pretty busy. Text me the next time you want to grab drinks!"
I agree that game playing sucks and is not a good strategy for dating or for relationships of any sort, HOWEVER, I don't think a slow fade here is game playing. Rather, I think it's just a suggesting for her to move on from this guy.
He's 1) Not interested because he hasn't made a definitive effort to see her or to let her know why he's not around; 2) Stringing her along with the chit chat.
Anonymous
11/21/2017 09:57
Subject: Re:Keeps getting in touch.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. Got it. Figured out he is not into me. He is not a douche. He is a great guy who did not think we were a match but did not have the balls to tell me. All good. Dating in 2017.
Keep yourself busy. He'll be in touch. Make him call you to plan another date. Don't ask him out again. Make him plan the dates. Don't respond to his text.
Texted again to say hi and said he wants to go out again, but again will not pick a date just says he is really busy right now. I am just ignoring. So weird.
Instead of ignoring, why don't you just be upfront even if he can't be? "Hi, Bob, enjoyed getting together with you and texting a bit, but ultimately, I don't see us as a match. Best of luck to you. Larla"
Anonymous
11/21/2017 09:30
Subject: Re:Keeps getting in touch.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Got it. Figured out he is not into me. He is not a douche. He is a great guy who did not think we were a match but did not have the balls to tell me. All good. Dating in 2017.
I really like your attitude, OP.
I agree with PPs who say he would have arranged something concrete by now if this was viable. Either he's a mess on wheels or he's got other romantic things going on/back burner plan.