Anonymous wrote:Don't know when it changed here or anywhere, but all of this is directly correlated with parents' income - always was. Grew up in the 1990s in a well to do southern NJ suburb -- lots of kids of doctors, lawyers, business owners. Even then it was looked down upon if you "had to work." To some extent other kids found it cool bc they were fascinated that your money was yours and not conditional on your parents who could withhold it to punish. But not all the looking down upon was by your peers, it was their parents looking down upon your parents -- i.e. aww soooo sad that Johnny can't play travel soccer and chill at the mall like my Christopher, it must be soooo hard on him that he has to work 15 hrs a week at CVS/Pizza Hut/wherever. It was the type of suburb where you were given a car when you turned 17. No one much cared about education so Rutgers it was for most people -- unless your parents were Penn State loyal, then they paid OOS for PSU. So point is, even in the 90s if you were working back there for your spending money, to save for college, or a car/car insurance, people ran around implying that your parents just weren't good enough providers.
OTOH -- lived in Richmond for a few yrs in the early 2000s and EVERYONE worked. Every teenage kid had jobs at the grocery store, fast food, retail etc. including the children of well to do law firm partners. I remember having a discussion about that with one such partner and his view was -- no 16 yr old boy should be without a job, doesn't matter if his parents have money or not. So they viewed it more as a rite of passage/responsibility thing vs. necessarily needing the money.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This was here in DC area in the 1980s.
Those jobs (while sometimes crappy) were seen by all as spending money and free food.
I attended a Catholic High School where tuition was not cheap.
Whether working at the country club or working fast food. A job was a job.
Everyone was expected to have some sort of part time job.
When did this all change?
It changed when competition to achieve in school became fiercer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I only see the stigma attached in this area, TBH.
People in this area love to put on airs and live beyond their means.
To quote my son's friend, whose mother would die of shame if she heard what he said, "I'm not allowed to have a job because my mom says it makes us look poor. I think we are secretly poor or why else would our AMEX bill be $30k? I saw it once and it said it's going to take them 25 years to pay it off. That's insane!"
Even among my kid's friend's parents, fast food jobs are not acceptable. Working at the fro yo shop or Coldstone? Fine. Working retail is fine as long as it's not Walmart. The best jobs are those that can bolster the kid's academic resume. My daughter's friend has an internship at her mom's law firm with some crazy title and bullet points for all of the impressive things she helps do, but all she really does is redact documents and shred.
It's not just this area. It's any well to do area. Here, Westchester County NY; Bergen County NJ; Princeton NJ area, Main Line Pa. etc.
It's not about why is there shame to working now, it's -- why is there shame to working if you live in a wealthy area. And the answer is-- bc parents act like other parents who "make" their kids work can't properly provide.
Anonymous wrote:Damn I really miss Roy Rogers. That was the only fast food I liked.
Anonymous wrote:This was here in DC area in the 1980s.
Those jobs (while sometimes crappy) were seen by all as spending money and free food.
I attended a Catholic High School where tuition was not cheap.
Whether working at the country club or working fast food. A job was a job.
Everyone was expected to have some sort of part time job.
When did this all change?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I only see the stigma attached in this area, TBH.
People in this area love to put on airs and live beyond their means.
To quote my son's friend, whose mother would die of shame if she heard what he said, "I'm not allowed to have a job because my mom says it makes us look poor. I think we are secretly poor or why else would our AMEX bill be $30k? I saw it once and it said it's going to take them 25 years to pay it off. That's insane!"
Even among my kid's friend's parents, fast food jobs are not acceptable. Working at the fro yo shop or Coldstone? Fine. Working retail is fine as long as it's not Walmart. The best jobs are those that can bolster the kid's academic resume. My daughter's friend has an internship at her mom's law firm with some crazy title and bullet points for all of the impressive things she helps do, but all she really does is redact documents and shred.
It's not just this area. It's any well to do area. Here, Westchester County NY; Bergen County NJ; Princeton NJ area, Main Line Pa. etc.
It's not about why is there shame to working now, it's -- why is there shame to working if you live in a wealthy area. And the answer is-- bc parents act like other parents who "make" their kids work can't properly provide.
Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen, the hierarchy of jobs went:
1. Pet sitter/house setter for a family who went out of town so you could party there
2. Lifeguard
3. Retail store (A&F, AE, Victoria's Secret) to give your friends your discount
4. Babysitter for older kids who didn't cry or wear diapers
5. Local pizza joint to give your friends free food
6. Local ice cream shop to give your friends free food
7. Babysitter for younger kids
8. Grocery store
9. Fast food
10. For your parents
Anonymous wrote:I only see the stigma attached in this area, TBH.
People in this area love to put on airs and live beyond their means.
To quote my son's friend, whose mother would die of shame if she heard what he said, "I'm not allowed to have a job because my mom says it makes us look poor. I think we are secretly poor or why else would our AMEX bill be $30k? I saw it once and it said it's going to take them 25 years to pay it off. That's insane!"
Even among my kid's friend's parents, fast food jobs are not acceptable. Working at the fro yo shop or Coldstone? Fine. Working retail is fine as long as it's not Walmart. The best jobs are those that can bolster the kid's academic resume. My daughter's friend has an internship at her mom's law firm with some crazy title and bullet points for all of the impressive things she helps do, but all she really does is redact documents and shred.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This was here in DC area in the 1980s.
Those jobs (while sometimes crappy) were seen by all as spending money and free food.
I attended a Catholic High School where tuition was not cheap.
Whether working at the country club or working fast food. A job was a job.
Everyone was expected to have some sort of part time job.
When did this all change?
Still no shame in many communities in this area. When I taught at a downcounty MCPS HS in the past decade, most students were eager to get these entry level jobs and reluctant to do extracurricular after school or take on unpaid internships. Many only got spending money if they worked for it. Others were trying to help out their parents. I knew a couple students who worked at the same McDonald’s as their mom. They were not ashamed of working there. They were proud to have legal, steady income.
Anonymous wrote:This was here in DC area in the 1980s.
Those jobs (while sometimes crappy) were seen by all as spending money and free food.
I attended a Catholic High School where tuition was not cheap.
Whether working at the country club or working fast food. A job was a job.
Everyone was expected to have some sort of part time job.
When did this all change?