Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

Op here. I know, it's so judgmental that I expect to have edible food available when I'm invited to someone's home for thanksgiving. And it's so bitchy on my part that I find it sexist/rude to have 4 different relatives make a minimum of 2 comments each to me at every single gathering that they don't see us enough. I should just assume all responsibility for my husband's social calendar and relationship with his family.

I could provide dozens of other examples but there's only so much room in a post. I skip posts that are too long and I wanted feedback.

The food is edible. You may not like it, which is fair, but it is edible.

Are they saying to you "Why ar you keeping are sone away from us?" or " We don't see you guys enough. We love you." Because the two comments are very different.

Op here. Not that it matters since I’ve already made the decision but the comments are in between your two examples. What annoys me is they only make these comments to me, never to DH, they make them every single time I see them, and it’s multiple people who chime in. It’s also simply false that they never see us. They see us constantly!

I guess it also doesn’t sit right with me that they seem to think they have the right to summon us. That’s part of the issue. There’s no discussion or democracy. Just, the party starts at 7 (DD is a toddler....we can’t do 7 pm gatherings across town). When we don’t attend for reasons like that they give ME attitude. It just gets old. They never offer to help us out or want to see us on our terms, only theirs, and when we don’t show up 100% of the time they bitch at me. I’m done with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

Op here. I know, it's so judgmental that I expect to have edible food available when I'm invited to someone's home for thanksgiving. And it's so bitchy on my part that I find it sexist/rude to have 4 different relatives make a minimum of 2 comments each to me at every single gathering that they don't see us enough. I should just assume all responsibility for my husband's social calendar and relationship with his family.

I could provide dozens of other examples but there's only so much room in a post. I skip posts that are too long and I wanted feedback.

The food is edible. You may not like it, which is fair, but it is edible.

Are they saying to you "Why ar you keeping are sone away from us?" or " We don't see you guys enough. We love you." Because the two comments are very different.

Yes, one sentence is spelled correctly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

Op here. I know, it's so judgmental that I expect to have edible food available when I'm invited to someone's home for thanksgiving. And it's so bitchy on my part that I find it sexist/rude to have 4 different relatives make a minimum of 2 comments each to me at every single gathering that they don't see us enough. I should just assume all responsibility for my husband's social calendar and relationship with his family.

I could provide dozens of other examples but there's only so much room in a post. I skip posts that are too long and I wanted feedback.

The food is edible. You may not like it, which is fair, but it is edible.

Are they saying to you "Why ar you keeping are sone away from us?" or " We don't see you guys enough. We love you." Because the two comments are very different.

Op here. I’m having the most delightful evening at home while DD and DH are at my in laws sloppy joe gathering. I’m binge watching the DVR and sipping Baileys. This is bliss.

Anonymous wrote:People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

What are you talking about? OP sounds completely reasonable. People who can’t get their act together deserve to be judged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I hear you on the food thing!!! I have my own issues with my in laws as well...and the fact that we have to attend these forced gatherings, and suffer through disgusting food is even worse!! Mine don't live close so I will be there for days! Totally agree with pp who said bad company with great food and wine is tolerable, but bad company with worse food and in my case no wine is intolerable!! Don't worry I bring wine..but am lucky if I get 1 full glass as despite not providing any they sure love to drink up mine!!!

Maybe you should use more exclamation points.

Not PP but maybe you should go away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

Op here. I know, it's so judgmental that I expect to have edible food available when I'm invited to someone's home for thanksgiving. And it's so bitchy on my part that I find it sexist/rude to have 4 different relatives make a minimum of 2 comments each to me at every single gathering that they don't see us enough. I should just assume all responsibility for my husband's social calendar and relationship with his family.

I could provide dozens of other examples but there's only so much room in a post. I skip posts that are too long and I wanted feedback.

Don't explain yourself OP. There's always someone in DCUM who's negative. Sounds like one of DH's family posts here lol. Hang in there and don't let anyone treat you like dirt.

And you don't have to send DD either. If they can't respect the mother they don't get the child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, skip them. It's perfectly fine.

How much free time do they have that they have 3 gatherings in the next 10 days? Is this the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of Thanksgiving or something else?

Op here. There is an uncle coming from out of town this Thursday, so a pizza gathering to welcome him. Then a more formal gathering Saturday with sloppy Joe's to welcome the arrival of DH's cousin. Then thanksgiving.

What makes me crazy is that for 3 years I truly made an effort. And they still hate me. I tried to be super nice, would bring dishes to all these dumb little gatherings, would compliment the slop and people's outfits and homes, show interest in their lives. I'd buy cards for DH to send on his grandparents and parents birthdays and sent pictures of DD every few months. I'm done trying.

OP, sorry to break it to you, but you have to show up for Thanksgiving. Bring wine and drink it, but show up!

I absolve you of your need to go to those other events. Say you have a headache or had to work late. I've cultivated a migraine for years so the story sounds legit now.

Op here. I know you're right but I so desperately don't want this to be true. I know I can't skip out on thanksgiving or Christmas Eve

I have to respectfully disagree. You don't have to show up for any occassion if you're not treated well. Thanksgiving or not.

Anonymous wrote:People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

Op here. I know, it's so judgmental that I expect to have edible food available when I'm invited to someone's home for thanksgiving. And it's so bitchy on my part that I find it sexist/rude to have 4 different relatives make a minimum of 2 comments each to me at every single gathering that they don't see us enough. I should just assume all responsibility for my husband's social calendar and relationship with his family.

I could provide dozens of other examples but there's only so much room in a post. I skip posts that are too long and I wanted feedback.

Anonymous wrote:For about 8 or 9 years, I have seen my local MIL on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve (for about 2 hours), Easter, and her birthday. Each event lasts the length of a meal at a restaurant.

Op here. I think I'm going to do this from now on.

For about 8 or 9 years, I have seen my local MIL on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve (for about 2 hours), Easter, and her birthday. Each event lasts the length of a meal at a restaurant.

People as condescending and dripping with judgement as you are painful to be around. It’s not them, it’s you.

Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

Anonymous wrote:Op I hear you on the food thing!!! I have my own issues with my in laws as well...and the fact that we have to attend these forced gatherings, and suffer through disgusting food is even worse!! Mine don't live close so I will be there for days! Totally agree with pp who said bad company with great food and wine is tolerable, but bad company with worse food and in my case no wine is intolerable!! Don't worry I bring wine..but am lucky if I get 1 full glass as despite not providing any they sure love to drink up mine!!!

Maybe you should use more exclamation points.