Anonymous wrote:In the past week I think I've been a part of at least three conversations in which parents of only children are judged. I just don't understand how it's considered okay to do this.

np Actually, I judge them way less than the people who have 4 + kids. We all live on the same planet and it is not responsible to keep having kids when the planet may not be able to support us all.

Feel happy now?

I am the parent of an only. Research indicates that only children have the best educational outcomes and are no more selfish than otherg children. This article has a summary of some of the research.

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2002530

I haven't had anyone say anything judgmental to me. I raise more money than anyone else on the PTA, and people know I wouldn't have time to do that if I had more kids. I'm also a single parent, so no one tells me to have more kids.

I've never seen anyone make fun of the parents of only children. Literally never. I absolutely know people judge me for having five. I just don't care.

What exactly was said during these conversations? God, humans are such a$$hats.

As the only child of such a parent, and observer of several friends with only one child...



I can tell you the stereotypes are true.
Not going to make fun (who would do that?), but yes, they are more smothering and inclined to panic about their kid. And yes, their kids usually are more self-centered. Not their fault, I was like that too.

I am the parent of an only child. That was not our plan; we wanted two kids. But my DW had two miscarriages after DD was born. We tried to adopt after the second, but a few months into the process I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. The social worker we were working with said that it would be disqualifying.

DD is now a HS student. Socially, there are huge disadvantage to being an only child: many of the conflict resolution skills she would have developed with a sibling are undeveloped.

I have never heard this. There are many types of families. Let it be.

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry, parents of only children judge those who overpopulate.

Agreed!

Another only mother here. Have never heard any judgement like this. I do secretly judge people with gigantic families 5+, because they really are a huge waste of resources and my husband comes from a family of 8 and hated it. But I never, ever share my opinions publicly.

Anonymous wrote:In the past week I think I've been a part of at least three conversations in which parents of only children are judged. I just don't understand how it's considered okay to do this.

I think it's quite possible you are oversensitive about this and internalizing things you shouldn't.

I have never seen anyone make fun of parents of only children. They just think it is easier. (Which it likely is).

Most people think parents of large numbers are kind of nuts and weird.

Some of it might be jealousy because parents of one do seem to have it pretty easy. Also financially they can do a lot more for that child. I have never heard of this either, OP.

Do you know that poster? Maybe her kid is spoiled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an an acquaintance make a snarky remark to me in front of about 20 people about how only kids are so spoiled, never learn to share, etc. I simply replied how I agreed and apologized that we were destined to be on that track since our 12 failed attempts over multiple years with an RE and multiple miscarriages before that had foilled our best laid plans. Shut her up but good and she left the gathering pretty soon after.

Oooohhhh, good infertility shaming! No wonder your acquaintances insult you publicly, no one cares about your reproductive system and you sound insufferable.

And you are a gigantic asshole.

Maybe. But my friends don’t try to embarrass me in public, and I? don’t wield personal medical history as a weapon to make others feel badly.

If you can't take it, don't dish it out. Snarky comments about only kids being spoiled deserve some embarrassment.

3 generations of only children here - never seen this.

There can be some competitive "oh, just wait until you have two, then you'll see how hard it is." But that shit happens with everything. If you have two, then it's "wait until you're outnumbered!" If you have only girls, it's "You're so lucky, boys are so much harder!" If you have only boys, it's "Aren't you glad you don't have to pay for 3 weddings?!" It's all comparative bullshit.