Anonymous wrote:Is this child normally a rule follower? Does this child normally have other issues? I think you have to look at the whole picture. I know getting my kid dressed in the morning is a battle and if he wore his costume instead of carrying it -- so be it. I would have apologized and left too. The parent probably didn't realize what a scene it would cause in your room. Maybe send the parent a note instead of complaining on DCUM just letting them know what an issue it caused and how you had to deal with upset kids because she didn't follow the rules.

Talk about selfish. You have difficulty getting one child dressed in the morning and you expect to drop the child off and make the teacher, who has 6-12 children deal with the costume and fighting with your child to get him to conform. Your child will be the one allowed to wear his clothes and you wouldn't realize that he won't be able to do the things that the other kids are doing because of what he's wearing? Or that the other kids will then want to know why they aren't allowed to wear their costumes until later? You can't handle your own child and then expect the teacher to be able to handle the discipline problem you've dumped on her?

Amazing. A new low for DCUM.

Doesn’t the child have a spare set of clothes at school in case he has an accident? I would have had him put on the spare outfit for the day or would just deal and add those parents to the “annoying parent” list.

That kid must be the most hated, the caregivers, teachers, assistants has thier favorites and treats them better when they behave good and parents dicipline thier kids instead being spoilers, lazy at parenting

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any decent preschool teacher would have been more understanding. Sounds like it is time to retire.

you are ridiculous.

Plus 1

that spoiled kid weith the rude parent, must be the most hated from the school, not just from the clasd. Dont ask latee why adults around him ignores him, treats him bad for being spoiled. I used to work in centers and schools. Good kids are more privileged and favorited the most.

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool doesn't do costumes. There is always the potential that someone could wear something that is scary to another child and even more likely they will be doing messy activities that will make it difficult in a costume. I never had an issue with it since the kids will be wearing their costumes tonight anyway. I just figured every preschool did this for the same reasons. shrug

Ugh. Glad my daughter is not in your preschool. Our school do the parade first thing in the morning with everyone arriving in costumes. Trunk or treat and after that a classroom party. After that, everyone change out of their costumes. Simple.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take it personally OP. The parent probably had no idea that arriving in costume would make your life more difficult. In fact, they probably thought the opposite...

"Oh, Miss Larla has to take the time to dress all of the kids, and mine is throwing a fit about wanting to wear his costume, so I'll just dress him now."

They didn't give us guidance about whether to dress or not dress, so I asked the teachers. They said it would be easier not to dress them in the morning, and instead do it later for the party / parade, but everyone showed up in costume nonetheless.

It's not rudeness or selfishness, it's just a lack of understanding.

I was tempted to give the parent this break too, PP, until I reread OP's post. OP said that the mom ran out quickly after a short explanation. She knew exactly what she was doing and that it was wrong. She just chose not to be a mother and deal with the cranky kid, and instead dumped the problem on the teacher.

Anonymous wrote:Is this child normally a rule follower? Does this child normally have other issues? I think you have to look at the whole picture. I know getting my kid dressed in the morning is a battle and if he wore his costume instead of carrying it -- so be it. I would have apologized and left too. The parent probably didn't realize what a scene it would cause in your room. Maybe send the parent a note instead of complaining on DCUM just letting them know what an issue it caused and how you had to deal with upset kids because she didn't follow the rules.

You can't get one child dressed, but you don't understand that a teacher, who is managing your child and 19 others, has a lot on her plate?

I would have changed the child out of the costume. If the child fussed about it, then I wouldn't change them back, and they could participate in the party in regular clothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any decent preschool teacher would have been more understanding. Sounds like it is time to retire.

Any decent parent would make his or her kid follow the rules. It would cause a few minutes of upset for him or her vs several hours of upset for the teacher. Stl being such an selfish, entitled ass!

+1 Sounds like some parents shouldn't be parents.

Anonymous wrote:Any decent preschool teacher would have been more understanding. Sounds like it is time to retire.

Any decent parent would make his or her kid follow the rules. It would cause a few minutes of upset for him or her vs several hours of upset for the teacher. Stl being such an selfish, entitled ass!

Anonymous wrote:OP you've learned your lesson. Parents need to be managed - heavily. Next year, change the message you send out to parents. Make the message friendly but more clear and more firm. If there are reasons you need the parents not to cheat and stray from your guidance - especially if it puts a burden on the kids - tell them. If the issue is nannies and not parents, then put a sentence in there to remind parents to forward your letter to the caregivers. If you have room parents, mention it to them so they might spread the word. Whatever you need to do. After that, roll with whatever happens.

I agree up until your "after that". After that, you send the child home with the parent to get appropriate clothes and bring his costume back in a bag. Bring this up with your director, OP.

OP you've learned your lesson. Parents need to be managed - heavily. Next year, change the message you send out to parents. Make the message friendly but more clear and more firm. If there are reasons you need the parents not to cheat and stray from your guidance - especially if it puts a burden on the kids - tell them. If the issue is nannies and not parents, then put a sentence in there to remind parents to forward your letter to the caregivers. If you have room parents, mention it to them so they might spread the word. Whatever you need to do. After that, roll with whatever happens.

Anonymous wrote:Is this child normally a rule follower? Does this child normally have other issues? I think you have to look at the whole picture. I know getting my kid dressed in the morning is a battle and if he wore his costume instead of carrying it -- so be it. I would have apologized and left too. The parent probably didn't realize what a scene it would cause in your room. Maybe send the parent a note instead of complaining on DCUM just letting them know what an issue it caused and how you had to deal with upset kids because she didn't follow the rules.

The whole picture is that the parent couldn't be bothered following the rules. End of discussion. Little kids suffered because Busy Mommy couldn't do her job.

Is this child normally a rule follower? Does this child normally have other issues? I think you have to look at the whole picture. I know getting my kid dressed in the morning is a battle and if he wore his costume instead of carrying it -- so be it. I would have apologized and left too. The parent probably didn't realize what a scene it would cause in your room. Maybe send the parent a note instead of complaining on DCUM just letting them know what an issue it caused and how you had to deal with upset kids because she didn't follow the rules.

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say she was a preschool teacher? THis could easily have been my kids' kindergarten class.

I'm sorry OP - parents are awful, I don't know how you stand us.

Sometimes my kid is awful in the morning also, but I have yet to resort to making his teacher or class pay the consequences!

She said that they were going to change the kids into costumes after nap. K and up programs usually don't do naps anymore.

That said, I agree with the director that I would have changed the child out of costume into the regular clothes and then changed back with the other kids after nap.

Our school specifically tells parents to bring the kids in in their costumes and we do the costume events in the morning. This involved a lot of walking so the kids come back, get out of costumes, eat lunch, take a nap and then do regular preschool activities after lunch. Works out much better since the kids are usually excited about the activities and wouldn't pay as much attention before the special activities. But once they've done them, get tired, eat lunch and nap, they're more likely to pay attention to preschool activities afterwards.