Anonymous wrote:Funny, I have a friend who celebrates her birthday by TREATING all of her friends to dinner at some fancy place she's always wanted to try. We argue about the bill, but the most she's ever let us do is pay the tip. And I think she still tipped on top of our contribution.

Ha, I do this! I cannot fathom inviting friends to celebrate ME, and making them pay to do it!

You agreed op. Do not welch on the deal.

Who is "we"? I'm sure she knows it's expensive and will help you pay if or pay most of it.

Anonymous wrote:I had this happen last year, and I thought it was rude and insensitive to pick such an extravagant place, especially given that most of the people invited were in grad school or high prestige/low pay jobs. In addition, we all chipped in to pay for her dinner, and nobody got a thank you note afterwards. Very trashy behavior from someone who went to a fancy prep school.

You obviously didn't go to a fancy prep school, or you would know that you don't send thank you notes for being taken to dinner, particularly if you thanked the person at the event. Calling someone trashy is also the epitome of that very thing.

I read this to be OP and her spouse/partner taking out friend and friend's BF. A lot of people seem to think it is a group of friends. Either way, I cannot believe the friend selected that restaurant while acknowledging it is too expensive, but it might not be AS BAD if it is a big group and the friend and her BF's share is spread out over several people. But I don't think that is the case. I think it is one couple paying for dinner for 4.

Her bf can take her there for dinner and you meet her for drinks (someplace else) afterwards.

Pick a place you can afford and offer to take her there. If she says no, screw her.

Anonymous wrote:So you know my SIL?! Small world!

Haha sounds like my SIL and her husband too. They are exactly like this!

Wait, is it $500/person? Or $500 for how many people

I think the worst thing about this is that she explicitly TOLD you that she couldn't afford it unless you paid for it!

Ugh. SOME PEOPLE.

I would not get a 400-500$ present for anyone, ever. Including my husband. Some other people had some good phrasing for a "step down" restaurant.

So you know my SIL?! Small world!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, since we offered to take her out, we intended to pick up the tab for the whole thing (BF included), as we have done in the past. I'm sure she assumes that too.

I'm sorry but bf isn't a free rider. We normally do this with my girl friends, but we'd never pay for husbands or bfs! And we pick places that are $50 or less for dinner, which is only like $10 when split with the rest of us.

+1 Picking up the tab for the BF is odd, OP. Would your group of friends be willing to go ahead with this restaurant if the BF were paying his own way?

Anonymous wrote:Thats what you get for acting like you have a great job and are making all of the money. When you pretend you are doing way better than your friends, you deserve it when they call your bluff.

What rubbish. You sound uncouth.

Typical moocher. Just say no. Do not do this. And honestly it should just be you taking her out if it’s her birthday. Or everyone else can pay for themselves.

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I have a friend who celebrates her birthday by TREATING all of her friends to dinner at some fancy place she's always wanted to try. We argue about the bill, but the most she's ever let us do is pay the tip. And I think she still tipped on top of our contribution.

This is what adults do on their birthdays! I also throw a fun houseparty around my birthday every year. I don't even mention it's my birthday as i don't want to troll for gifts. I just want friends around me and to have a fun night.