I (or a friend/aunt/gparent) followed my sons in middle school. We slowly stopped following them in HS.

I do not follow my 18 yo.

Actually, i might still follow him on Twitter, I don't really check it. IDK.

If he did something crazy I might start checking in.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 16 and I don't follow her because I am not on social media. I have complete access to her phone every night but as she has gotten older, I rarely check.

She is looking at colleges and not in the party or mean girl scene at all. Not saying she won't make some mistakes but we aren't talking about huge issues I need to be concerned with.

She knows my rules. If the 3 P's are okay with it, then it is okay. Parents, Police, Principal.

And the poster about the fake accounts is right. The more up their a$$ you are, the more likely they have secret accounts.

+1

Kids today are one, no ten, steps ahead of their parents - especially the helicopter parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I must be the only parent that does not need to know every gory detail of my kids lives. My parents certainly did not. I let them have some space. Their grads are good, they play sports, they stay out of trouble, they are respectful, and they babysit part time for extra money. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to worry about every single indiscretion and they can spend some time figuring some things out on their own by trial and error.

Most of us don't.

+1

It is the parents who have punk kids, who assume every other kid is a punk. Try communicating with your own child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't have a choice.

You can buy $200 phone and get a $35/month plan, which is couple of weeks of work during Christmas break or couple of months of the weekend work. If my parents were crazy about those social media rules, I would have gone this route.

We have an agreement. I follow, and stay silent. She pretends she's forgotten that I follow. The only thing I've given her a hard time about, is being associated with people who use the N-word.

Mine is 16 and I don't follow her because I am not on social media. I have complete access to her phone every night but as she has gotten older, I rarely check.

She is looking at colleges and not in the party or mean girl scene at all. Not saying she won't make some mistakes but we aren't talking about huge issues I need to be concerned with.

She knows my rules. If the 3 P's are okay with it, then it is okay. Parents, Police, Principal.

And the poster about the fake accounts is right. The more up their a$$ you are, the more likely they have secret accounts.

Anonymous wrote:I must be the only parent that does not need to know every gory detail of my kids lives. My parents certainly did not. I let them have some space. Their grads are good, they play sports, they stay out of trouble, they are respectful, and they babysit part time for extra money. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to worry about every single indiscretion and they can spend some time figuring some things out on their own by trial and error.

Most of us don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+1

When my oldest was in middle school facebook was all the rage for kids his age. He decided not to get a facebook because he didn't want me following him (there was no option). Fine by me, to this day he never got facebook.

Things have changed a bit since then. When was this? 2010?

I'm the person you quoted, I missed the part that the kid in question was 16. I don't follow my 17 year old on anything and I don't care to. I agree, the younger ages need more monitoring and as they earn your trust it's OK to let it go.

I must be the only parent that does not need to know every gory detail of my kids lives. My parents certainly did not. I let them have some space. Their grads are good, they play sports, they stay out of trouble, they are respectful, and they babysit part time for extra money. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to worry about every single indiscretion and they can spend some time figuring some things out on their own by trial and error.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen uses Instagram and Snapchat. I follow him on Instagram, but now I understand he has another account (finsta) fake Instagram account. I saw it when checking his phone the other day. Oh well.

Also on Snapchat, he is a friend, but about a month ago he blocked me from seeing his "stories."

Is this typical? He's 16. I'm not making a big deal about it.

We follow our teens on social media. But when other parents ask, we say no, we do not. It's not their damn business how we parent.

Why do you lie? Are you somehow embarrassed about being involved like this?

Not at all. Our family business is not out there to be judged. Period. Maybe yours is, that is your business.

Luckily my teen in not into social media. He's just not interested. I'm sure he would let me follow him though, he's an open book.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "let."

+1,000,000.

I wonder how many of these commenters have older teens. I felt this way when my DD was in early teens, but now that she is older, I see how things change and how parents need to adjust things. It's an issue of respect and trust when they get close to adulthood. Big difference between 13 and 17!!

Because these older teens have such better judgment?

https://www.buzzfeed.com/briannasacks/a-utah-high-school-is-investigating-a-video-showing-smiling?utm_term=.gizW7EJ4a#.wceRga4Z8

My teen is admittedly younger, 14, so my experience may change but I think it is actually even more important for parents of older teens to know what they are putting out there. These are kids applying to colleges, internships, and jobs where people will form impressions in part based on social media posts. I think a rule that anything that you wouldn't want your parent to see is a good metric for what a teen should post. If a parent wouldn't like it, neither will a college or employer.

NP here needing advice after reading all this. My freshman does not have instagram and has;t asked for it. However, she does talk about feeling left out a bit in general. I thought of encouraging her to join social media but wonder now if it would just make things worse,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen uses Instagram and Snapchat. I follow him on Instagram, but now I understand he has another account (finsta) fake Instagram account. I saw it when checking his phone the other day. Oh well.

Also on Snapchat, he is a friend, but about a month ago he blocked me from seeing his "stories."

Is this typical? He's 16. I'm not making a big deal about it.

We follow our teens on social media. But when other parents ask, we say no, we do not. It's not their damn business how we parent.

Why do you lie? Are you somehow embarrassed about being involved like this?

My young teen doesn't have a cell phone and is not on social media. When he is, I will not friend him. However, there will be many reminders of how to use social media and I reserve the right to spot check every now and then.

Anonymous wrote:My teen uses Instagram and Snapchat. I follow him on Instagram, but now I understand he has another account (finsta) fake Instagram account. I saw it when checking his phone the other day. Oh well.

Also on Snapchat, he is a friend, but about a month ago he blocked me from seeing his "stories."

Is this typical? He's 16. I'm not making a big deal about it.

We follow our teens on social media. But when other parents ask, we say no, we do not. It's not their damn business how we parent.