Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 15:15     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:I have Nomorobo on both my home and cell lines. That takes care of most of the calls.


Yep, I was coming to post that. I found NoMoRoBo from DCUM about 3 years ago and it's been wonderful. My wife teleworks 4 days a week and she says that it has cut us back from about 10-12 calls a day to about 1-2 a week. She can handle that. And every now and then we actually get a real number on the caller ID and I can go on-line and blacklist the number to make the system better. Definitely worth it.

But just before we got NoMoRoBo in late 2014, I posted on FB about this spam call:

I wish I could remember who posted something similar to this because I really have to thank them (was it XXX, YYY or ZZZ??)
So I got a call from (some unintelligible Indian name) calling from "Microsoft Technical Support".
Scammer: We have identified some security issues with your Windows 7 machine.
Me: Really? How interesting. We only have Linux and Mac systems in our house. How did you get this informaiton? (not true, but how would he know?)
Scammer: Wait, you only have Mac systems in your house?
Me: and Linux.
Scammer: [blank pause of about 10 seconds] Oh, uh, only Mac? Well, um, we have your CLS code. That's your Computer License Security code and it tells us that your first name is <John> and your last name is <Doe>. Is this correct?
Me: Yes, that is my name.
Scammer: And it says that you have a Windows security issue. You only have Macs?
Me: Yes. So, I'm curious how you can get that information when we don't have any Windows systems in our house. Are you sure you have the right person? Why do you think we have Windows machines?
Scammer: Oh, um, I'm sorry to have taken your time.
**click**
That was a lot of fun. I really need to know who posted the original, longer conversation, because it was worth it to FINALLY have fun scamming a scammer.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 14:44     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
I have Nomorobo on both my home and cell lines. That takes care of most of the calls.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 14:27     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:I did telemarketing in high school. We had to use a script that the company and its attorneys had scripted. I liked to intentionally read the wrong script. So if someone said they weren’t interested, I might read the script for if they had said the person I was calling had died.

“I’m not interested”

“I am incredibly sorry. We didn’t want to bring forward these painful memories. Please, accept my sincere apology.”

It paid for camp.


Oh that's hilarious. I worked for a local telemarketer in HS for about a month, and when I got really bored I would put on a fake british accent. I aways sold more pizza that way.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 13:07     Subject: Re:what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
The second I hear a real voice I say can you hold on, I have another call I need to answer then I hang up. So far only once did someone call back. She said we somehow got disconnected and I said really ? Then hung up again.

Recorded pitches I just hang up. I used to call the numbers back but 9 times out of 10 the message on their side says the phone is no longer in use or is disconnected. Sneaky shits.

The Microsoft India dude I threatened to beat his ass. I haven't had a call from them since.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 12:43     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Back when it was less scammy and more just credit card companies doing cold calls, I was bored and home alone and took a call. Instead of answering the survey questions, I struck up a conversation with the caller and we seriously talked for almost an hour. He sounded like a late teens/early 20s kid and we talked about different places in the country to live. I asked him if he liked his job and he started talking about the places he had thought about for college, so I gave him some application advice (I was working for a university at the time). He said he wanted to go to school in Florida because he lived in Minnesota and it was really cold. Eventually I had to get off the phone (never finished applying for the credit card) so I asked him if our conversation was going to get him into trouble. He said he didn't care because he was planning to quit soon anyway, and after talking to me about everything, he was really motivated to get to school and get a real job.

I really wonder what happened to that kid. I hope he made it to Florida and got to go to college.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 10:20     Subject: Re:what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I blow a whistle into the phone with all my might. Keep the whistle near phone just for this use. I am sure it is damaging to the person's hearing but I really could care less. They called me.


This is actually illegal and you could be arrested for it.


I’m going to start doing this.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 10:12     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We got a call from "microsoft" telling us our computer was infected. My DH said, "OMG, which one?", "OMG what am I gonna do?" "OMG is the phone infected too" "OMG is the toilet infected: As I was lmao , "microsoft" HUNG UP!


For the "Microsoft" phishing scams I lead them on and then tell them I have a Mac.


Haha!! Me, too!


Same! If I’m bored, I’ll keep them on the phone for 20 minutes. I figure it might keep them from scamming one person. My MIL gave them access to her computer and it was a nightmare.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 10:09     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
I usually ignore numbers I don't recognize, but for ones that show up (like the solar or window companies that KEEP CALLING no matter how often I tell them to take me off the list) I just start answering with things like "thank you for calling Dominoes - would you like to order our Redskins special?" or "welcome to the house of cats - what type of cat are you calling to describe?" (yes, I did that once after an extra glass of wine - the telemarketer started cracking up and I never heard back from that company)

It throws them off - then I just hang up.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 08:09     Subject: Re:what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I blow a whistle into the phone with all my might. Keep the whistle near phone just for this use. I am sure it is damaging to the person's hearing but I really could care less. They called me.


This is actually illegal and you could be arrested for it.


The unwanted sales pitches are what's illegal.

https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2015/03/your-top-5-questions-about-unwanted-calls-and-national-do-not-call-registry
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 08:04     Subject: Re:what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I blow a whistle into the phone with all my might. Keep the whistle near phone just for this use. I am sure it is damaging to the person's hearing but I really could care less. They called me.


This is actually illegal and you could be arrested for it.


So are unwanted calls when you're on a no call list.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 08:03     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Geez, these are just people working for a living. How about a polite "no thank you" and simply hang up?


This Thank You but apparently not with this crowd.


Maybe you haven't been on a list where you get 2 to 3 calls an evening?
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 07:26     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:I blocked the numbers that called the most often - guess that’s not funny, but the phone rings less often and that makes me happy.


I also do this. We want to keep our landline and bought a phone with a blocking feature. Once you've called three or four times and haven't left a message I block you.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 06:56     Subject: Re:what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:I blow a whistle into the phone with all my might. Keep the whistle near phone just for this use. I am sure it is damaging to the person's hearing but I really could care less. They called me.


This is actually illegal and you could be arrested for it.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 06:53     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
I blocked the numbers that called the most often - guess that’s not funny, but the phone rings less often and that makes me happy.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2017 06:33     Subject: what funny ways have you dealt with telemarketers?
Anonymous wrote:Geez, these are just people working for a living. How about a polite "no thank you" and simply hang up?


You might not be familiar with the new era of telemarketing. I always politely decline and ask to be removed from their calling list. What happens, very often, is that they getvery angry and verbally assault the person they called. They had the name of one of my children once and I told them to remove her name because she was a minor, and the guy went ballistic and said he wouldn’t remove it and then threatened to come to my home, made threats against my child, etc.. this is apparently the new normal bc it’s happened multiple times. So, I do still politely decline but after that, if they are aggressive, the gloves come off.